https://www.gavinstephens.ca/_next/static/chunks/3750758345b1c860.js

1(globalThis.TURBOPACK||(globalThis.TURBOPACK=[])).push(["object"==typeof document?document.currentScript:void 0,93622,e=>{"use strict";var i=e.i(43476),n=e.i(71645),t=e.i(18566);function o(){let[e,t]=(0,n.useState)(!0);return(0,n.useEffect)(()=>{let e=setInterval(()=>t(e=>!e),550);return()=>clearInterval(e)},[]),(0,i.jsx)("span",{"aria-hidden":"true",style:{display:"inline-block",width:"8px",height:"13px",background:"#e85d04",marginLeft:"2px",verticalAlign:"middle",opacity:.9*!!e,transition:"opacity 0.05s"}})}function r(){return(0,i.jsx)("hr",{style:{border:"none",borderTop:"1px solid #3a3a2e",margin:"2rem 0"}})}function a({children:e}){return(0,i.jsx)("p",{style:{fontSize:"10px",letterSpacing:"0.3em",color:"#e85d04",textTransform:"uppercase",margin:"2rem 0 0.75rem",opacity:.9},children:e})}function s({children:e}){return(0,i.jsx)("span",{style:{display:"inline-block",fontSize:"9px",letterSpacing:"0.2em",background:"transparent",border:"1px solid #e85d04",color:"#e85d04",padding:"1px 6px",marginLeft:"8px",verticalAlign:"middle",opacity:.85},children:e})}function l(){let e=(0,t.useRouter)();return(0,i.jsxs)(i.Fragment,{children:[(0,i.jsx)("style",{children:`
2        @keyframes scanline-move {
3          0% { transform: translateY(0); }
4          100% { transform: translateY(8px); }
5        }
6
7        @keyframes glitch-1 {
8          0%, 90%, 100% { clip-path: none; transform: none; opacity: 1; }
9          91% { clip-path: polygon(0 15%, 100% 15%, 100% 30%, 0 30%); transform: translateX(-4px); opacity: 0.8; }
10          93% { clip-path: polygon(0 60%, 100% 60%, 100% 70%, 0 70%); transform: translateX(4px); opacity: 0.8; }
11          95% { clip-path: polygon(0 40%, 100% 40%, 100% 55%, 0 55%); transform: translateX(-2px); opacity: 0.9; }
12          97% { clip-path: none; transform: none; }
13        }
14
15        @keyframes glitch-2 {
16          0%, 88%, 100% { opacity: 0; transform: none; }
17          89% { opacity: 0.4; transform: translateX(3px); clip-path: polygon(0 20%, 100% 20%, 100% 35%, 0 35%); color: #00ffcc; }
18          91% { opacity: 0.3; transform: translateX(-3px); clip-path: polygon(0 55%, 100% 55%, 100% 65%, 0 65%); color: #ff003c; }
19          93% { opacity: 0; }
20        }
21
22        @keyframes flicker {
23          0%, 95%, 100% { opacity: 1; }
24          96% { opacity: 0.85; }
25          97% { opacity: 1; }
26          98% { opacity: 0.9; }
27        }
28
29        @keyframes noise {
30          0% { background-position: 0 0; }
31          10% { background-position: -5% -10%; }
32          20% { background-position: -15% 5%; }
33          30% { background-position: 7% -25%; }
34          40% { background-position: 20% 25%; }
35          50% { background-position: -25% 10%; }
36          60% { background-position: 15% 5%; }
37          70% { background-position: 0% 15%; }
38          80% { background-position: 25% 35%; }
39          90% { background-position: -10% 10%; }
40          100% { background-position: 0 0; }
41        }
42
43        .pbo-page {
44          animation: flicker 8s infinite;
45        }
46
47        .pbo-scanlines {
48          position: absolute;
49          inset: 0;
50          background: repeating-linear-gradient(
51            0deg,
52            rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.18) 0px,
53            rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.18) 1px,
54            transparent 1px,
55            transparent 4px
56          );
57          pointer-events: none;
58          z-index: 1;
59          animation: scanline-move 0.1s steps(1) infinite;
60        }
61
62        .pbo-noise {
63          position: absolute;
64          inset: 0;
65          opacity: 0.04;
66          pointer-events: none;
67          z-index: 1;
68          background-image: url("data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg viewBox='0 0 256 256' xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%3E%3Cfilter id='noise'%3E%3CfeTurbulence type='fractalNoise' baseFrequency='0.9' numOctaves='4' stitchTiles='stitch'/%3E%3C/filter%3E%3Crect width='100%25' height='100%25' filter='url(%23noise)'/%3E%3C/svg%3E");
69          background-size: 200px 200px;
70          animation: noise 0.5s steps(1) infinite;
71        }
72
73        .pbo-title-wrap {
74          position: relative;
75          display: inline-block;
76          animation: glitch-1 6s infinite;
77        }
78
79        .pbo-title-ghost {
80          position: absolute;
81          top: 0; left: 0;
82          color: #e85d04;
83          font-size: 22px;
84          font-weight: normal;
85          letter-spacing: 0.12em;
86          text-transform: uppercase;
87          white-space: nowrap;
88          animation: glitch-2 6s infinite;
89          pointer-events: none;
90        }
91
92        .pbo-body p {
93          font-size: 13.5px;
94          line-height: 1.85;
95          color: #d4cfb8;
96          margin: 0 0 1.4rem;
97        }
98
99        .pbo-findings p {
100          margin: 0 0 0.6rem;
101          font-size: 13px;
102          color: #d4cfb8;
103          line-height: 1.85;
104        }
105
106        .pbo-return-btn:hover {
107          color: #e85d04 !important;
108        }
109
110        .pbo-stamp {
111          display: inline-block;
112          border: 2px solid #e85d04;
113          color: #e85d04;
114          font-size: 10px;
115          letter-spacing: 0.25em;
116          padding: 3px 10px;
117          margin-bottom: 2rem;
118          opacity: 0.9;
119          box-shadow: 0 0 8px rgba(232, 93, 4, 0.25), inset 0 0 8px rgba(232, 93, 4, 0.05);
120        }
121
122        .pbo-meta-grid {
123          display: grid;
124          grid-template-columns: 1fr 1fr;
125          gap: 0.5rem 2rem;
126          margin-bottom: 2.5rem;
127          font-size: 11px;
128          color: #7a7860;
129        }
130      `}),(0,i.jsxs)("div",{className:"pbo-page",style:{background:"#13140f",minHeight:"100vh",padding:"3rem 1.5rem 5rem",color:"#d4cfb8",position:"relative",overflow:"hidden",fontFamily:"var(--font-ibm-plex-mono), monospace"},children:[(0,i.jsx)("div",{className:"pbo-scanlines"}),(0,i.jsx)("div",{className:"pbo-noise"}),(0,i.jsxs)("div",{style:{maxWidth:"640px",margin:"0 auto",position:"relative",zIndex:2},children:[(0,i.jsx)("div",{className:"pbo-stamp",children:"FORM PBO-001  /  INTERNAL USE ONLY"}),(0,i.jsxs)("h1",{style:{fontSize:"22px",fontWeight:"normal",color:"#e85d04",letterSpacing:"0.12em",margin:"0 0 0.25rem",textTransform:"uppercase"},children:[(0,i.jsxs)("span",{className:"pbo-title-wrap",children:["Park Bench Ontology",(0,i.jsx)("span",{className:"pbo-title-ghost","aria-hidden":"true",children:"Park Bench Ontology"})]}),(0,i.jsx)(o,{})]}),(0,i.jsx)("p",{style:{fontSize:"12px",color:"#7a7860",fontStyle:"italic",margin:"0 0 2.5rem",letterSpacing:"0.05em"},children:"An Ongoing Inquiry — Est. Whenever This Started Feeling Necessary"}),(0,i.jsx)("div",{className:"pbo-meta-grid",children:[["FILING DATE","UNSPECIFIED"],["STATUS","ACTIVE / UNRESOLVED"],["JURISDICTION","THE GAP BETWEEN WHAT IS SAID AND WHAT IS MEANT"],["COMPLIANCE","PENDING. HAS ALWAYS BEEN PENDING."]].map(([e,n])=>(0,i.jsxs)("div",{children:[e,": ",(0,i.jsx)("span",{style:{color:"#a8a48a"},children:n})]},e))}),(0,i.jsx)(r,{}),(0,i.jsx)(a,{children:"Mandate"}),(0,i.jsxs)("div",{className:"pbo-body",children:[(0,i.jsx)("p",{children:"Park Bench Ontology is a registered* creative practice operating at the intersection of existential comedy, Afro-Absurdism, and unsanctioned philosophical infrastru

130cture."}),(0,i.jsx)("p",{children:"This office produces live performances, conceptual artifacts, anti-productivity software, and other materials deemed inadvisable by the relevant authorities."}),(0,i.jsx)(a,{children:"Core Findings"}),(0,i.jsxs)("div",{className:"pbo-findings",style:{borderLeft:"2px solid #e85d04",paddingLeft:"1.25rem",margin:"1.5rem 0"},children:[(0,i.jsx)("p",{children:"Polite liberalism is a performance."}),(0,i.jsx)("p",{children:"Market virtue is a costume."}),(0,i.jsx)("p",{children:"Nationalist identity is a group project nobody agreed to join."})]}),(0,i.jsx)("p",{children:"These conclusions are non-negotiable and have been peer-reviewed by nobody."})]}),(0,i.jsx)(r,{}),(0,i.jsx)(a,{children:"Principal Investigator"}),(0,i.jsx)("div",{className:"pbo-body",children:(0,i.jsxs)("p",{children:["Park Bench Ontology was founded by"," ",(0,i.jsx)("span",{style:{color:"#e8e0c8",textDecoration:"underline",textUnderlineOffset:"3px",textDecorationColor:"#e85d04",textDecorationThickness:"1px"},children:"Gavin Stephens"})," ","— JUNO-nominated comedian, Canadian Screen Award-winning writer, and person who has not yet been asked to stop. His work has been tolerated at Just for Laughs, SXSW, the Hamilton Fringe, and the South African Comedy Festival. The Art Gallery of Hamilton commissioned him anyway."]})}),(0,i.jsx)(r,{}),(0,i.jsx)(a,{children:"Active Inquiries"}),(0,i.jsxs)("div",{className:"pbo-body",children:[(0,i.jsxs)("p",{children:[(0,i.jsx)("em",{style:{color:"#a8a48a"},children:"hermit-cast"}),(0,i.jsx)(s,{children:"OPERATIONAL"}),(0,i.jsx)("br",{}),"Location-aware anti-productivity software. Generates weather-based ideological reasons to stay home or quietly quit."]}),(0,i.jsxs)("p",{children:[(0,i.jsx)("em",{style:{color:"#a8a48a"},children:"The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth"}),(0,i.jsx)(s,{children:"IN DEVELOPMENT"}),(0,i.jsx)("br",{}),"Documentary examining nerd culture as social and political identity. Explores escape from freedom, manufactured belonging, and gatekeeping as community infrastructure. The market did not request this."]}),(0,i.jsx)("p",{children:"Additional inquiries at various stages of completion. Further notice will not be provided."})]}),(0,i.jsx)(r,{}),(0,i.jsx)(a,{children:"Terms of Engagement"}),(0,i.jsxs)("div",{className:"pbo-body",children:[(0,i.jsx)("p",{children:"Park Bench Ontology does not offer refunds. It does not require your agreement. It only asks that you sit with the question long enough to notice it's sitting with you."}),(0,i.jsx)("p",{children:"Failure to notice is also data."})]}),(0,i.jsxs)("div",{style:{marginTop:"3rem",paddingTop:"1.5rem",borderTop:"1px solid #252520",fontSize:"11px",color:"#4a4a3a",fontStyle:"italic",lineHeight:1.7},children:[(0,i.jsx)("p",{style:{margin:"0 0 0.4rem"},children:"*Registration pending. The form was confusing. This is intentional on someone's part.¹"}),(0,i.jsx)("p",{style:{margin:"0 0 0.4rem"},children:"¹ That someone has not been identified. The inquiry continues."}),(0,i.jsx)("p",{style:{margin:0},children:"© Park Bench Ontology — All Rights Reserved, All Rights Questioned"})]}),(0,i.jsx)("button",{className:"pbo-return-btn",onClick:()=>e.push("/"),style:{display:"inline-block",marginTop:"3.5rem",fontSize:"11px",color:"#4a4a3a",letterSpacing:"0.15em",textTransform:"uppercase",cursor:"pointer",transition:"color 0.2s",background:"none",border:"none",padding:0,fontFamily:"inherit"},children:"↩ Return to Surface"})]})]})]})}e.s(["default",()=>l])}]);