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1<!DOCTYPE html><html lang="en"><head><meta charset="utf-8" /><meta content="IE=edge" http-equiv="X-UA-Compatible" /><meta content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0" name="viewport" /><link href="https://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Montserrat:400,400i,700,900|Montserrat:400,700,900|PT+Mono" rel="stylesheet" /><link rel="stylesheet" media="screen" href="/assets/website-eaf4046e731f03b9bcae8c9f696cdc0b0206e7c4f6aadc4dda64f163c2de95d1.css" /><link rel="stylesheet" media="screen" href="/assets/website/insta-890675ab725dd0a445bb90ad4a6fc53ae35aaec91c1c83cfb7297e973d0fda8b.css" /><link rel="stylesheet" media="screen" href="/asset/css/custom-user-140494-1790545724-theme-insta-b7ca6ba948bccd3b8e12efa8f0fd9ced-1719405883.css" /><style></style><link rel="shortcut icon" type="image/x-icon" href="https://cdn.artstation.com/static_media/placeholders/user/portfolio_favicon/default.png" /><title>Amber Ambrowskii Williams - C.A.Y.A.</title>
2<meta name="description" content="Come as You Are(n&#39;t) Acrylic Painting approx. 20x25 inches For the past 6 years or so, I&#39;ve been meditating on and reading about faith, spirituality &amp; religion. This painting is a visual culmination of all my recent thoughts, and it&#39;s completion felt like">
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5<meta name="twitter:title" content="Amber Ambrowskii Williams - C.A.Y.A.">
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7<meta name="twitter:description" content="Come as You Are(n&#39;t)
8Acrylic Painting
9approx. 20x25 inches
10
11For the past 6 years or so, I&#39;ve been meditating on and reading about faith, spirituality &amp;amp; religion. This painting is a visual culmination of all my recent thoughts, and it&#39;s completion felt like a cathartic release. As I continued to read, play, &amp;amp; watch things, the scene grew in symbolic complexity until I decided to heed: 
12
13Window/Door Archways: A portal. A transition from feeling abandoned, left out, or barred from entry to whatever wonderful, powerful, mystical thing lies inside. Two archways on either side are bricked up to suggest something already being lost.
14
15Magical Symbol Combination: Representing my own internal blending/jumbling of faiths and beliefs within my spiritual journey. The top-most glyph is sun-like, but also doubles as an ever-watchful eye. I have foundational childhood memories of Christianity, so the cross is center with radiating rays outward. Then, I branched into Pagan and Wiccan-adjacent practices, such as following the moon phases; and now more broadly follow planets and astrology, symbolized by the 12 zodiac symbols. The bird-like symbol near the bottom of the window is a stylized version of the Sankofa bird. The word Sankofa is from the Akan language in Ghana, West Africa, and translates to &#39;go back and get&#39;. It symbolizes looking back to the past to retrieve strength, hope, or wisdom. Furthermore, by comparing it against the other symbols, it represents elevating the seemingly mundane, nature, to sacredness too, so that we may feel more interconnected with the whole world around us, not just with humans. 
16
17Ghost Child: Vulnerability &amp;amp; youthful curiosity. The feeling of being lost. I painted the figure to look unisex, so that more people may be able to see themselves in the image. Such questions and reflections about faith and belonging are a universal experience. An eye is intentionally missing, intersected by the kudzu in the background. The vine threatens the child similar to how it threatens the portal.  
18
19Kudzu Plant Vine: A threat; something requiring maintenance and care, growing towards the window and threatening to overtake it. I heard history about the plant once upon a time being heavily spread &amp;amp; invested in, only to now grow rampantly and out of control. Could symbolize time, negligence, distortion, or even capitalism. Something that overtakes, separates, and pulls generations and people away from each other.
20
21Dandelions: Whimsical tools for wishes, yet disposable weeds at the same time. Herbs. Something to add variety to the grass and ground area.
22
23Church Wall/ Graveyard: I&#39;
23d drive with my mother and notice a graveyard separated by road. When I wondered why, I learned about the the long history of Black monuments, churches, and graveyards being forcefully destroyed, built over, or neglected to deterioration. 
24
25Blue Monochromatic Color Palette: I learned about the history of the color Haint Blue. It&#39;s a shade of light blue that Gullah Geechee belief says protects against evil spirits. Keeping the piece simple with different shades of blue helped me focus on the values, instead of picking different or correct hues.
26
27Outer Frame: Evokes Christian church imagery; as if the painting could be found hanging in a church. The frame elevates the painting scene to a level of holiness, and helps it command respect and attention. Platinum coloring was perfect in-between of traditional gold church frames &amp;amp; a more silver, gothic frame. A nod towards a transition/turning from gold to silver. 
28
29Title and acronym are a reference to the saying popularly attributed to Christians. The title reflects my life experiences that revealed conflicts in actions verses stated beliefs: I could not understand how Christianity was projected to be loving and welcoming, yet the most vocal nearby Christians in my childhood were so particularly hateful and cruel towards LGBTQ+ people? I can not understand how a Christian parent would hate and punish their gay child to the extent of torturing them to transition/conversion therapy, possibly pushing them towards an early grave... So: the title of the painting is a refute to the saying; a challenge, and even a joke. C.A.Y.A. is versatile, and can also double as the figure&#39;s name. 
30
31Earlier preliminary sketches were more somber in tone, communicated by the figure&#39;s pose being more condensed and fearful, similar to a fetal position. The more I read, played, watched, prayed, and meditated, my thoughts changed so that I no longer felt so sad or fearful about the project, or about religion and faith overall. Through this process, I&#39;ve centered in on the functions of faith, and less on the labels. Doing so has helped me towards a comforting realization that there is no Wrong way for me to do faith. Thus, reflecting my change in approach, the figure&#39;s finalized pose was changed to be more relaxed, playful, or sly. A smiling, curious expression on their face.  No longer afraid, but perhaps empowered.
32">
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38Acrylic Painting
39approx. 20x25 inches
40
41For the past 6 years or so, I&#39;ve been meditating on and reading about faith, spirituality &amp;amp; religion. This painting is a visual culmination of all my recent thoughts, and it&#39;s completion felt like a cathartic release. As I continued to read, play, &amp;amp; watch things, the scene grew in symbolic complexity until I decided to heed: 
42
43Window/Door Archways: A portal. A transition from feeling abandoned, left out, or barred from entry to whatever wonderful, powerful, mystical thing lies inside. Two archways on either side are bricked up to suggest something already being lost.
44
45Magical Symbol Combination: Representing my own internal blending/jumbling of faiths and beliefs within my spiritual journey. The top-most glyph is sun-like, but also doubles as an ever-watchful eye. I have foundational childhood memories of Christianity, so the cross is center with radiating rays outward. Then, I branched into Pagan and Wiccan-adjacent practices, such as following the moon phases; and now more broadly follow planets and astrology, symbolized by the 12 zodiac symbols. The bird-like symbol near the bottom of the window is a stylized version of the Sankofa bird. The word Sankofa is from the A
45kan language in Ghana, West Africa, and translates to &#39;go back and get&#39;. It symbolizes looking back to the past to retrieve strength, hope, or wisdom. Furthermore, by comparing it against the other symbols, it represents elevating the seemingly mundane, nature, to sacredness too, so that we may feel more interconnected with the whole world around us, not just with humans. 
46
47Ghost Child: Vulnerability &amp;amp; youthful curiosity. The feeling of being lost. I painted the figure to look unisex, so that more people may be able to see themselves in the image. Such questions and reflections about faith and belonging are a universal experience. An eye is intentionally missing, intersected by the kudzu in the background. The vine threatens the child similar to how it threatens the portal.  
48
49Kudzu Plant Vine: A threat; something requiring maintenance and care, growing towards the window and threatening to overtake it. I heard history about the plant once upon a time being heavily spread &amp;amp; invested in, only to now grow rampantly and out of control. Could symbolize time, negligence, distortion, or even capitalism. Something that overtakes, separates, and pulls generations and people away from each other.
50
51Dandelions: Whimsical tools for wishes, yet disposable weeds at the same time. Herbs. Something to add variety to the grass and ground area.
52
53Church Wall/ Graveyard: I&#39;d drive with my mother and notice a graveyard separated by road. When I wondered why, I learned about the the long history of Black monuments, churches, and graveyards being forcefully destroyed, built over, or neglected to deterioration. 
54
55Blue Monochromatic Color Palette: I learned about the history of the color Haint Blue. It&#39;s a shade of light blue that Gullah Geechee belief says protects against evil spirits. Keeping the piece simple with different shades of blue helped me focus on the values, instead of picking different or correct hues.
56
57Outer Frame: Evokes Christian church imagery; as if the painting could be found hanging in a church. The frame elevates the painting scene to a level of holiness, and helps it command respect and attention. Platinum coloring was perfect in-between of traditional gold church frames &amp;amp; a more silver, gothic frame. A nod towards a transition/turning from gold to silver. 
58
59Title and acronym are a reference to the saying popularly attributed to Christians. The title reflects my life experiences that revealed conflicts in actions verses stated beliefs: I could not understand how Christianity was projected to be loving and welcoming, yet the most vocal nearby Christians in my childhood were so particularly hateful and cruel towards LGBTQ+ people? I can not understand how a Christian parent would hate and punish their gay child to the extent of torturing them to transition/conversion therapy, possibly pushing them towards an early grave... So: the title of the painting is a refute to the saying; a challenge, and even a joke. C.A.Y.A. is versatile, and can also double as the figure&#39;s name. 
60
61Earlier preliminary sketches were more somber in tone, communicated by the figure&#39;s pose being more condensed and fearful, similar to a fetal position. The more I read, played, watched, prayed, and meditated, my thoughts changed so that I no longer felt so sad or fearful about the project, or about religion and faith overall. Through this process, I&#39;ve centered in on the functions of faith, and less on the labels. Doing so has helped me towards a comforting realization that there is no Wrong way for me to do faith. Thus, reflecting my change in approach, the figure&#39;s finalized pose was changed to be more relaxed, playful, or sly. A smiling, curious expression on their face.  No longer afraid, but perhaps empowered.
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94</head><body class="theme-insta project"><div id="top"></div><header class="site-header"><div class="site-logo"><div class="site-title title-font"><a href="/">Amber  &#39;Ambrowskii&#39;  Williams</a><div class="site-subtitle visible-desktop">Illustrator, Animator, Pixel Artist</div></div></div><div class="site-header-btn"><div class="line"></div><div class="line"></div><div class="line"></div></div><div class="header-nav-close"><div class="header-nav-close-inner"></div></div><div class="header-nav"><ul class="nav"><li><a target="_self" href="http://ambrowskii.artstation.com/pages/index">Home</a></li><li><a target="_self" href="/albums/7174292">Games &amp; Pixel Art</a></li><li><a target="_self" href="/albums/7174299">Illustration</a></li><li><a target="_self" href="/albums/7174295">Character Art</a></li><li><a target="_self" href="/albums/10907554">Paintings</a></li><li><a target="_self" href="/resume">Resume</a></li></ul></div></header><div class="site-wrapper"><input type="hidden" name="next_project" id="next_project" value="/projects/XJ8KEn" autocomplete="off" /><a class="project-page-next" href="/projects/XJ8KEn"><span class="far fa-angle-right"></span></a><div class="site-content project-page"><div class="project-title title-font text-center hidden-desktop">C.A.Y.A.</div><div class="project-grid right "><div class="project-assets"><div class="project-assets-item"><div class="project-assets-item-inner"><a class="project-assets-link colorbox-gal" data-colorbox="true" href="https://cdnb.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/102/612/671/large/amber-williams-20260901-093728.jpg?1790090607"><picture><source media="(min-width: 1920px)" srcset="https://cdnb.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/102/612/671/4k/amber-williams-20260901-093728.jpg?1790090607" /><source media="(min-width: 1200px)" srcset="" /><source media="(min-width: 768px)" srcset="" /><source media="(min-width: 0)" srcset="" /><img class="project-assets-image img-responsive constrained" alt="Full image." src="https://cdnb.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/102/612/671/4k/amber-williams-20260901-093728.jpg?1790090607" /></picture></a><div class="project-assets-caption"><div class="asset-caption"><p>Full image.</p></div></div></div></div><div class="project-assets-item"><div class="project-assets-item-inner"><a class="project-assets-link colorbox-gal" data-colorbox="true" href="https://cdnb.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/102/612/013/large/amber-williams-20260901-123650.jpg?1790045974"><picture><source media="(min-width: 1920px)" srcset="https://cdnb.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/102/612/013/4k/amber-williams-20260901-123650.jpg?1790045974" /><source media="(min-width: 1200px)" srcset="" /><source media="(min-width: 768px)" srcset="" /><source media="(min-width: 0)" srcset="" /><img class="project-assets-image img-responsive constrained" alt="Detail close up of grass, weeds, and kudzu on the scene&#39;s floor." src="https://cdnb.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/102/612/013/4k/amber-williams-20260901-123650.jpg?1790045974" /></picture></a><div class="project-assets-caption"><div class="asset-caption"><p>Detail close up of grass, weeds, and kudzu on the scene's floor.</p></div></div></div></div><div class="project-assets-item"><div class="project-assets-item-inner"><a class="project-assets-link colorbox-gal" data-colorbox="true" href="https://cdnb.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/102/612/023/large/amber-williams-20260901-123721.jpg?1790046026"><picture><source media="(min-width: 1920px)" srcset="https://cdnb.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/102/612/023/4k/amber-williams-20260901-123721.jpg?1790046026" /><source media="(min-width: 1200px)" srcset="" /><source media="(min-width: 768px)" srcset="" /><source media="(min-width: 0)" srcset="" /><img class="project-assets-image img-responsive constrained" alt="Detail close up of ghost-like figure outline, sitting against a wall jutting outward." src="https://cdnb.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/102/612/023/4k/amber-williams-20260901-123721.jpg?1790046026" /></picture></a><div class="project-assets-caption"><div class="asset-caption"><p>Detail close up of ghost-like figure outline, sitting against a wall jutting outward.</p></div></div></div></div><div class="project-assets-item"><div class="project-assets-item-inner"><a class="project-assets-link colorbox-gal" data-colorbox="true" href="https://cdnb.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/102/611/995/large/amber-williams-20260901-123549.jpg?1790045930"><picture><source media="(min-width: 1920px)" srcset="https://cdnb.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/102/611/995/4k/amber-williams-20260901-123549.jpg?1790045930" /><source media="(min-width: 1200px)" srcset="" /><source media="(min-width: 768px)" srcset="" /><source media="(min-width: 0)" srcset="" /><img class="project-assets-image img-responsive constrained" alt="Detail close up of spiritual symbols and patterning on window/portal shape." src="https://cdnb.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/102/611/995/4k/amber-williams-20260901-123549.jpg?1790045930" /></picture></a><div class="project-assets-caption"><div class="asset-caption"><p>Detail close up of spiritual symbols and patterning on window/portal shape.</p></div></div></div></div><div class="project-assets-item"><div class="project-assets-item-inner"><a class="project-assets-link colorbox-gal" data-colorbox="true" href="https://cdnb.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/102/612/015/large/amber-williams-20260901-123702.jpg?1790045993"><picture><source media="(min-width: 1920px)" srcset="https://cdnb.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/102/612/015/4k/amber-williams-20260901-123702.jpg?1790045993" /><source media="(min-width: 1200px)" srcset="" /><source media="(min-width: 768px)" srcset="" /><source media="(min-width: 0)" srcset="" /><img class="project-assets-image img-responsive constrained" alt="Detail close up of brick texture in top right." src="https://cdnb.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/102/612/015/4k/amber-williams-20260901-123702.jpg?1790045993" /></picture></a><div class="project-assets-caption"><div class="asset-caption"><p>Detail close up of brick texture in top right.</p></div></div></div></div><div class="project-assets-item"><div class="project-assets-item-inner"><a class="project-assets-link colorbox-gal" data-colorbox="true" href="https://cdnb.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/102/612/007/large/amber-williams-20260901-123610.jpg?1790045959"><picture><source media="(min-width: 1920px)" srcset="https://cdnb.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/102/612/007/4k/amber-williams-20260901-123610.jpg?1790045959" /><source media="(min-width: 1200px)" srcset="" /><source media="(min-width: 768px)" srcset="" /><source media="(min-width: 0)" srcset="" /><img class="project-assets-image img-responsive constrained" alt="Detail close up of kudzu pattern and spiritual symbols on left side of window." src="https://cdnb.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/102/612/007/4k/amber-williams-20260901-123610.jpg?1790045959" /></picture></a><div class="project-assets-caption"><div class="asset-caption"><p>Detail close up of kudzu pattern and spiritual symbols on left side of window.</p></div></div></div></div><div class="project-assets-item"><div class="project-assets-item-inner"><a class="project-assets-link colorbox-gal" data-colorbox="true" href="https://cdnb.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/102/612/003/large/amber-williams-20260901-123600.jpg?1790045944"><picture><source media="(min-width: 1920px)" srcset="https://cdnb.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/102/612/003/4k/amber-williams-20260901-123600.jpg?1790045944" /><source media="(min-width: 1200px)" srcset="" /><source media="(min-width: 768px)" srcset="" /><source media="(min-width: 0)" srcset="" /><img class="project-assets-image img-responsive constrained" alt="Detail close up of brick and kudzu pattern." src="https://cdnb.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/102/612/003/4k/amber-williams-20260901-123600.jpg?1790045944" /></picture></a><div class="project-assets-caption"><div class="asset-caption"><p>Detail close up of brick and kudzu pattern.</p></div></div></div></div><div class="project-assets-item"><div class="project-assets-item-inner"><a class="project-assets-link colorbox-gal" data-colorbox="true" href="https://cdnb.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/102/612/025/large/amber-williams-20260904-191923-edit.jpg?1790046037"><picture><source media="(min-width: 1920px)" srcset="https://cdnb.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/102/612/025/4k/amber-williams-20260904-191923-edit.jpg?1790046037" /><source media="(min-width: 1200px)" srcset="" /><source media="(min-width: 768px)" srcset="" /><source media="(min-width: 0)" srcset="" /><img class="project-assets-image img-responsive constrained" alt="The painting within the frame." src="https://cdnb.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/102/612/025/4k/amber-williams-20260904-191923-edit.jpg?1790046037" /></picture></a><div class="project-assets-caption"><div class="asset-caption"><p>The painting within the frame.</p></div></div></div></div><div class="project-assets-item"><div class="project-assets-item-inner"><a class="project-assets-link colorbox-gal" data-colorbox="true" href="https://cdnb.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/102/612/325/large/amber-williams-screenshot-2026-09-21-221634.jpg?1790047501"><picture><source media="(min-width: 1200px)" srcset="https://cdnb.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/102/612/325/large/amber-williams-screenshot-2026-09-21-221634.jpg?1790047501" /><source media="(min-width: 768px)" srcset="https://cdnb.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/102/612/325/medium/amber-williams-screenshot-2026-09-21-221634.jpg?1790047501" /><source media="(min-width: 0)" srcset="" /><img class="project-assets-image img-responsive constrained" alt="Some preliminary sketches and notes on them." src="https://cdnb.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/102/612/325/medium/amber-williams-screenshot-2026-09-21-221634.jpg?1790047501" /></picture></a><div class="project-assets-caption"><div class="asset-caption"><p>Some preliminary sketches and notes on them.</p></div></div></div></div></div><div class="project-content"><div class="container-sm"><div class="project-title title-font hidden-phone hidden-tablet">C.A.Y.A.</div><div class="project-text formatted-text"><p>Come as You Are(n't)
95<br />Acrylic Painting
96<br />approx. 20x25 inches</p>
97
98<p>For the past 6 years or so, I've been meditating on and reading about faith, spirituality &amp; religion. This painting is a visual culmination of all my recent thoughts, and it's completion felt like a cathartic release. As I continued to read, play, &amp; watch things, the scene grew in symbolic complexity until I decided to heed: </p>
99
100<p>Window/Door Archways: A portal. A transition from feeling abandoned, left out, or barred from entry to whatever wonderful, powerful, mystical thing lies inside. Two archways on either side are bricked up to suggest something already being lost.</p>
101
102<p>Magical Symbol Combination: Representing my own internal blending/jumbling of faiths and beliefs within my spiritual journey. The top-most glyph is sun-like, but also doubles as an ever-watchful eye. I have foundational childhood memories of Christianity, so the cross is center with radiating rays outward. Then, I branched into Pagan and Wiccan-adjacent practices, such as following the moon ph
102ases; and now more broadly follow planets and astrology, symbolized by the 12 zodiac symbols. The bird-like symbol near the bottom of the window is a stylized version of the Sankofa bird. The word Sankofa is from the Akan language in Ghana, West Africa, and translates to 'go back and get'. It symbolizes looking back to the past to retrieve strength, hope, or wisdom. Furthermore, by comparing it against the other symbols, it represents elevating the seemingly mundane, nature, to sacredness too, so that we may feel more interconnected with the whole world around us, not just with humans. </p>
103
104<p>Ghost Child: Vulnerability &amp; youthful curiosity. The feeling of being lost. I painted the figure to look unisex, so that more people may be able to see themselves in the image. Such questions and reflections about faith and belonging are a universal experience. An eye is intentionally missing, intersected by the kudzu in the background. The vine threatens the child similar to how it threatens the portal.  </p>
105
106<p>Kudzu Plant Vine: A threat; something requiring maintenance and care, growing towards the window and threatening to overtake it. I heard history about the plant once upon a time being heavily spread &amp; invested in, only to now grow rampantly and out of control. Could symbolize time, negligence, distortion, or even capitalism. Something that overtakes, separates, and pulls generations and people away from each other.</p>
107
108<p>Dandelions: Whimsical tools for wishes, yet disposable weeds at the same time. Herbs. Something to add variety to the grass and ground area.</p>
109
110<p>Church Wall/ Graveyard: I'd drive with my mother and notice a graveyard separated by road. When I wondered why, I learned about the the long history of Black monuments, churches, and graveyards being forcefully destroyed, built over, or neglected to deterioration. </p>
111
112<p>Blue Monochromatic Color Palette: I learned about the history of the color Haint Blue. It's a shade of light blue that Gullah Geechee belief says protects against evil spirits. Keeping the piece simple with different shades of blue helped me focus on the values, instead of picking different or correct hues.</p>
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114<p>Outer Frame: Evokes Christian church imagery; as if the painting could be found hanging in a church. The frame elevates the painting scene to a level of holiness, and helps it command respect and attention. Platinum coloring was perfect in-between of traditional gold church frames &amp; a more silver, gothic frame. A nod towards a transition/turning from gold to silver. </p>
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116<p>Title and acronym are a reference to the saying popularly attributed to Christians. The title reflects my life experiences that revealed conflicts in actions verses stated beliefs: I could not understand how Christianity was projected to be loving and welcoming, yet the most vocal nearby Christians in my childhood were so particularly hateful and cruel towards LGBTQ+ people? I can not understand how a Christian parent would hate and punish their gay child to the extent of torturing them to transition/conversion therapy, possibly pushing them towards an early grave... So: the title of the painting is a refute to the saying; a challenge, and even a joke. C.A.Y.A. is versatile, and can also double as the figure's name. </p>
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118<p>Earlier preliminary sketches were more somber in tone, communicated by the figure's pose being more condensed and fearful, similar to a fetal position. The more I read, played, watched, prayed, and meditated, my thoughts changed so that I no longer felt so sad or fearful about the project, or about religion and faith overall. Through this process, I've centered in on the functions of faith, and less on the labels. Doing so has helped me towards a comforting realization that there is no Wrong way for me to do faith. Thus, reflecting my change in approach, the figure's finalized pose was changed to be more relaxed, playful, or sly. A smiling, curious expression on their face.  No longer afraid, but perhaps empowered.
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