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These are always on.</p><p>We&#x27;d also like to use cookies for statistics, to count visits and see how people find and use the site, so we can make it better.<!-- --> We only use them if you say yes.</p></div><div class="mt-3 flex flex-wrap items-center gap-x-3 gap-y-2"><button type="button" class="inline-flex items-center justify-center gap-2 rounded-sm font-sans text-small leading-tight transition-colors disabled:cursor-not-allowed disabled:opacity-45 aria-disabled:cursor-not-allowed aria-disabled:opacity-45 border-[1.5px] border-ink bg-transparent font-semibold text-ink no-underline hover:bg-tint hover:text-ink min-h-11 px-4.5 py-1.5 text-center">Accept all</button><button type="button" class="inline-flex items-center justify-center gap-2 rounded-sm font-sans text-small leading-tight transition-colors disabled:cursor-not-allowed disabled:opacity-45 aria-disabled:cursor-not-allowed aria-disabled:opacity-45 border-[1.5px] border-ink bg-transparent font-semibold text-ink no-underline hover:bg-tint hover:text-ink min-h-11 px-4.5 py-1.5 text-center">Reject all</button><button type="button" class="inline-flex items-center justify-center gap-2 rounded-sm font-sans text-small leading-tight transition-colors disabled:cursor-not-allowed disabled:opacity-45 aria-disabled:cursor-not-allowed aria-disabled:opacity-45 border-[1.5px] border-ink bg-transparent font-semibold text-ink no-underline hover:bg-tint hover:text-ink min-h-11 px-4.5 py-1.5 text-center">Choose cookies</button><a class="px-1 font-semibold" href="/privacy#14-cookies">More about cookies</a></div></div></section><div class="page-wrap flex-1"><main id="main" tabindex="-1" class="min-w-0 py-8 outline-none md:py-12"><section class="grid gap-12 pb-14 md:pb-18 lg:grid-cols-[minmax(0,7fr)_minmax(0,5fr)] lg:gap-18"><div class="flex flex-col gap-6 lg:pt-2"><p class="text-eyebrow font-semibold text-rose-deep uppercase">For adults aged 18 and over</p><h1 class="text-display">Dating and friendship for autistic adults</h1><div class="flex max-w-measure flex-col gap-4 text-lead text-ink-2"><p>A place to meet people for friendship, dating, or both. We are a free online community for autistic people to make friends and meaningful connections.</p><p>Join thousands of members just like you. Whether you&#x27;re looking for friendship, a pen pal, or just someone who gets it — we have powerful search, messaging, detailed profiles, and much more to help you connect.</p></div><a href="#join" class="flex w-full items-center justify-center gap-2 rounded-sm font-sans text-small leading-tight transition-colors disabled:cursor-not-allowed disabled:opacity-45 aria-disabled:cursor-not-allowed aria-disabled:opacity-45 border-[1.5px] border-transparent bg-rose font-semibold text-on-action no-underline hover:bg-rose-deep hover:text-on-action min-h-12 px-6 py-2 text-center lg:hidden">Join for free</a><ul class="mt-2 flex max-w-measure flex-col border-t border-rule-soft text-small"><li class="border-b border-rule-soft py-2.5"><strong class="text-ink">Free to join and free to message.</strong> <span class="text-ink-2">No credit card.</span></li><li class="border-b border-rule-soft py-2.5"><strong class="text-ink">Your details stay private.</strong> <span class="text-ink-2">Your last name, email address and date of birth are never shown.</span></li></ul></div><div id="join" class="scroll-mt-6 lg:border-l lg:border-rule-soft lg:pl-12"><form class="flex flex-col gap-5" aria-labelledby="join-title" action="/register/quick" method="post"><div class="flex flex-col gap-1.5"><h2 id="join-title" class="text-h3 font-semibold">Join for free</h2><p class="text-small text-ink-3">Next: your date of birth, who you would like to meet, and the terms. You finish your profile after joining.</p></div><div class="flex flex-col gap-1.5"><label for="field_R_536_" class="font-semibold text-ink">Username</label><input type="text" id="field_R_536_" aria-describedby="field_R_536_-hint" class="block rounded-sm border-[1.5px] border-field bg-raised px-3 text-body text-ink transition-colors hover:border-ink-3 focus:border-ink aria-invalid:border-danger disabled:cursor-not-allowed disabled:opacity-60 h-12 w-full" autoComplete="username" required="" minLength="5" maxLength="20" name="username"/><div id="field_R_536_-hint" class="text-caption text-ink-3">5 to 20 letters or numbers. Members see this.</div></div><div class="flex flex-col gap-1.5"><label for="field_R_936_" class="font-semibold text-ink">Email address</label><input type="email" id="field_R_936_" aria-describedby="field_R_936_-hint" class="block rounded-sm border-[1.5px] border-field bg-raised px-3 text-body text-ink transition-colors hover:border-ink-3 focus:border-ink aria-invalid:border-danger disabled:cursor-not-allowed disabled:opacity-60 h-12 w-full" autoComplete="email" required="" maxLength="255" name="email"/><div id="field_R_936_-hint" class="text-caption text-ink-3">Nobody else sees this.</div></div><div class="flex flex-col gap-1.5"><label for="field_R_b36_" class="font-semibold text-ink">Password</label><input type="password" id="field_R_b36_" aria-describedby="field_R_b36_-hint" class="block rounded-sm border-[1.5px] border-field bg-raised px-3 text-body text-ink transition-colors hover:border-ink-3 focus:border-ink aria-invalid:border-danger disabled:cursor-not-allowed disabled:opacity-60 h-12 w-full" autoComplete="new-password" required="" minLength="6" name="password"/><div id="field_R_b36_-hint" class="text-caption text-ink-3">At least 6 characters.</div></div><button type="submit" class="flex w-full items-center justify-center gap-2 rounded-sm font-sans text-small leading-tight transition-colors disabled:cursor-not-allowed disabled:opacity-45 aria-disabled:cursor-not-allowed aria-disabled:opacity-45 border-[1.5px] border-transparent bg-rose font-semibold text-on-action no-underline hover:bg-rose-deep hover:text-on-action min-h-12 px-6 py-2 text-center mt-1">Sign up and continue</button><p class="border-t border-rule-soft pt-4 text-small">Already a member?<!-- --> <a class="font-semibold" href="/login">Log in here</a>.</p></form></div></section><section aria-labelledby="made-title" class="flex flex-col gap-10 border-t border-rule py-12 md:py-14"><div class="grid gap-4 lg:grid-cols-[minmax(0,4fr)_minmax(0,8fr)] lg:gap-18"><h2 id="made-title" class="text-h2">
49Made for autistic and neurodivergent people</h2><p class="max-w-measure text-ink-2 lg:pt-1">Dating sites often expect small talk, quick replies and reading between the lines. Here, you can say how you like to talk, take your time, and set up the site to suit your senses. All of this is free.</p></div><div class="flex flex-col gap-6"><ul class="grid gap-x-10 gap-y-12 sm:grid-cols-2 xl:grid-cols-4"><li class="row-span-2 grid min-w-0 grid-rows-subgrid gap-y-5 border-t-2 border-rose pt-4"><div><h3 class="text-lead">Say how you like to talk</h3><p class="mt-1.5 text-small text-ink-2">Fill in how people should talk to you, how quickly you reply and what you find hard. It&#x27;s shown at the top of every conversation with you.</p></div><div aria-hidden="true" class="flex min-w-0 flex-col gap-2.5 select-none"><div class="rounded-sm bg-tint px-4 py-3.5"><p class="text-small font-semibold text-ink">How Sam likes to talk</p><dl class="mt-2 text-caption"><div class="grid grid-cols-[5.5rem_minmax(0,1fr)] gap-x-3 border-t border-rule-soft py-1.5"><dt class="text-ink-3">Talk to me</dt><dd class="text-ink">Be direct, but kind</dd></div><div class="grid grid-cols-[5.5rem_minmax(0,1fr)] gap-x-3 border-t border-rule-soft py-1.5"><dt class="text-ink-3">Replies</dt><dd class="text-ink">It can take me a few days</dd></div><div class="grid grid-cols-[5.5rem_minmax(0,1fr)] gap-x-3 border-t border-rule-soft py-1.5"><dt class="text-ink-3">Finds hard</dt><dd class="text-ink">Small talk, last-minute changes of plan</dd></div></dl></div></div></li><li class="row-span-2 grid min-w-0 grid-rows-subgrid gap-y-5 border-t-2 border-rose pt-4"><div><h3 class="text-lead">Tone tags, explained</h3><p class="mt-1.5 text-small text-ink-2">Add tone tags like /j (joking) or /srs (serious) to a message. The meaning is shown next to each one, so nobody has to guess.</p></div><div aria-hidden="true" class="flex min-w-0 flex-col gap-2.5 select-none"><div class="flex flex-col gap-1 items-start"><p class="text-micro font-semibold text-ink-2">Sam</p><div class="max-w-[90%] rounded-sm px-3 py-2 text-small text-ink border border-rule-soft bg-raised">Is that your cat&#x27;s chair now? <span class="whitespace-nowrap"><abbr title="joking" class="font-semibold no-underline">/j</abbr> <span class="text-caption text-ink-3">(<!-- -->joking<!-- -->)</span></span></div></div><div class="flex flex-col gap-1 items-end"><p class="text-micro font-semibold text-ink-2">You</p><div class="max-w-[90%] rounded-sm px-3 py-2 text-small text-ink bg-tint">It is. She won it fair and square <span class="whitespace-nowrap"><abbr title="light-hearted" class="font-semibold no-underline">/lh</abbr> <span class="text-caption text-ink-3">(<!-- -->light-hearted<!-- -->)</span></span></div></div></div></li><li class="row-span-2 grid min-w-0 grid-rows-subgrid gap-y-5 border-t-2 border-rose pt-4"><div><h3 class="text-lead">Special interests welcome</h3><p class="mt-1.5 text-small text-ink-2">Mark your special interests and write about them. Profiles show what you have in common, with a button to ask someone about theirs.</p></div><div aria-hidden="true" class="flex min-w-0 flex-col gap-2.5 select-none"><div><p class="text-caption font-semibold text-ink-3">Sam&#x27;s special interests</p><div class="mt-1.5 flex flex-col gap-1 border-y border-rule-soft py-2.5"><p class="font-serif text-lead font-heading">Trains <span class="ml-1.5 font-sans text-caption font-semibold text-rose-deep">You too</span></p><p class="font-serif text-small text-ink-2">I&#x27;ve been to every station on my local line. Ask me about the old signal boxes.</p><span class="mt-1.5 self-start rounded-sm bg-rose px-3 py-1 text-caption font-semibold text-on-action">Ask Sam about it</span></div></div><div><p class="text-caption font-semibold text-ink-3">Loves</p><ul class="mt-1.5 flex flex-wrap gap-1.5"><li class="rounded-sm border px-2 py-0.5 text-caption border-rule-soft text-ink-2">Baking</li><li class="rounded-sm border px-2 py-0.5 text-caption border-rose-soft bg-tint text-ink">Astronomy<span class="ml-1.5 font-semibold text-rose-deep">You too</span></li><li class="rounded-sm border px-2 py-0.5 text-caption border-rule-soft text-ink-2">Board games</li></ul></div></div></li><li class="row-span-2 grid min-w-0 grid-rows-subgrid gap-y-5 border-t-2 border-rose pt-4"><div><h3 class="text-lead">Question cards</h3><p class="mt-1.5 text-small text-ink-2">Not sure what to say? Send a question card. You both answer, and the answers only show once you both have, so nobody has to go first.</p></div><div aria-hidden="true" class="flex min-w-0 flex-col gap-2.5 select-none"><div class="flex flex-col gap-2.5 rounded-sm border border-rule-soft bg-raised px-4 py-3.5"><p class="text-caption font-semibold text-rose-deep">Sam sent a question card</p><p class="font-serif text-body text-ink">What&#x27;s something you could talk about for hours?</p><dl class="flex flex-col gap-2 border-t border-rule-soft pt-2.5 text-small"><div><dt class="text-caption text-ink-3">You</dt><dd class="text-ink">Old maps, and how they were made.</dd></div><div><dt class="text-caption text-ink-3">Sam</dt><dd class="text-ink">Deep sea creatures. Ask me about anglerfish!</dd></div></dl></div></div></li><li class="row-span-2 grid min-w-0 grid-rows-subgrid gap-y-5 border-t-2 border-rose pt-4"><div><h3 class="text-lead">End a conversation kindly</h3><p class="mt-1.5 text-small text-ink-2">
49Not a match? Choose a kind, ready-made message and close the conversation, so nobody is left waiting for a reply.</p></div><div aria-hidden="true" class="flex min-w-0 flex-col gap-2.5 select-none"><div class="flex flex-col gap-1 items-start"><p class="text-micro font-semibold text-ink-2">Sam</p><div class="max-w-[90%] rounded-sm px-3 py-2 text-small text-ink border border-rule-soft bg-raised">Thank you for talking with me. I don&#x27;t think we&#x27;re a match, but I wish you all the best.</div></div><div class="rounded-sm bg-tint px-4 py-3 text-caption text-ink-2"><p class="text-small font-semibold text-ink">Sam has closed this conversation.</p><p class="mt-1">That&#x27;s OK: not everyone is a match, and it doesn&#x27;t mean you did something wrong.</p></div></div></li><li class="row-span-2 grid min-w-0 grid-rows-subgrid gap-y-5 border-t-2 border-rose pt-4"><div><h3 class="text-lead">Take a break</h3><p class="mt-1.5 text-small text-ink-2">Need time away? Take a break, and members see that you&#x27;re away and when you&#x27;ll be back, so nobody wonders why you&#x27;ve gone quiet.</p></div><div aria-hidden="true" class="flex min-w-0 flex-col gap-2.5 select-none"><div class="flex items-center gap-3 border-y border-rule-soft py-2.5"><svg viewBox="0 0 40 40" class="block shrink-0 rounded-sm size-11" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><rect width="40" height="40" fill="#cdeae6"></rect><circle cx="20" cy="16" r="7.5" fill="#2f8a83"></circle><path d="M5.5 40a14.5 14.5 0 0 1 29 0Z" fill="#2f8a83"></path></svg><div class="min-w-0"><p class="text-small font-semibold text-ink">Sam, 34</p><p class="text-caption text-ink-3">Taking a break</p></div></div><div class="rounded-sm bg-tint px-4 py-3 text-caption text-ink-2"><p class="text-small font-semibold text-ink">Sam is taking a break until 14 November.</p><p class="mt-1 font-serif">“Busy month at work. I&#x27;ll reply to everyone when I&#x27;m back.”</p></div></div></li><li class="row-span-2 grid min-w-0 grid-rows-subgrid gap-y-5 border-t-2 border-rose pt-4"><div><h3 class="text-lead">Make the site calmer</h3><p class="mt-1.5 text-small text-ink-2">Choose softer colours, dark mode, bigger text or an easy-read font, and turn off movement. Members can also hide the counts of new things in the menu.</p><p class="mt-2 text-small"><a class="font-semibold" href="/display-settings">Try the display settings now</a></p></div><div aria-hidden="true" class="flex min-w-0 flex-col gap-2.5 select-none"><div class="grid grid-cols-3 gap-2"><div class="flex flex-col gap-1"><div class="flex h-16 flex-col justify-center gap-1.5 rounded-sm border px-3" style="background-color:var(--preview-standard-paper);border-color:var(--preview-standard-rule)"><span class="font-serif text-h3 leading-none" style="color:var(--preview-standard-ink)">Aa</span><span class="h-1 w-7 rounded-full" style="background-color:var(--preview-standard-rose)"></span></div><span class="text-caption text-ink-2">Standard</span></div><div class="flex flex-col gap-1"><div class="flex h-16 flex-col justify-center gap-1.5 rounded-sm border px-3" style="background-color:var(--preview-soft-paper);border-color:var(--preview-soft-rule)"><span class="font-serif text-h3 leading-none" style="color:var(--preview-soft-ink)">Aa</span><span class="h-1 w-7 rounded-full" style="background-color:var(--preview-soft-rose)"></span></div><span class="text-caption text-ink-2">Soft</span></div><div class="flex flex-col gap-1"><div class="flex h-16 flex-col justify-center gap-1.5 rounded-sm border px-3" style="background-color:var(--preview-dark-paper);border-color:var(--preview-dark-rule)"><span class="font-serif text-h3 leading-none" style="color:var(--preview-dark-ink)">Aa</span><span class="h-1 w-7 rounded-full" style="background-color:var(--preview-dark-rose)"></span></div><span class="text-caption text-ink-2">Dark</span></div></div><ul class="flex flex-wrap gap-1.5"><li class="inline-flex items-center gap-1.5 rounded-sm border border-rule-soft bg-raised px-2 py-0.5 text-caption text-ink-2"><svg viewBox="0 0 12 12" class="size-3 text-rose" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round"><path d="M2 6.5 4.8 9 10 3"></path></svg>Larger text</li><li class="inline-flex items-center gap-1.5 rounded-sm border border-rule-soft bg-raised px-2 py-0.5 text-caption text-ink-2"><svg viewBox="0 0 12 12" class="size-3 text-rose" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round"><path d="M2 6.5 4.8 9 10 3"></path></svg>Easy-read font</li><li class="inline-flex items-center gap-1.5 rounded-sm border border-rule-soft bg-raised px-2 py-0.5 text-caption text-ink-2"><svg viewBox="0 0 12 12" class="size-3 text-rose" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round"><path d="M2 6.5 4.8 9 10 3"></path></svg>Reduce movement</li></ul></div></li><li class="row-span-2 grid min-w-0 grid-rows-subgrid gap-y-5 border-t-2 border-rose pt-4"><div><h3 class="text-lead">Warnings about scams</h3><p class="mt-1.5 text-small text-ink-2">Messages that ask for money, or ask you to talk on another app, get a plain warning underneath. You can block or report anyone.</p><p class="mt-2 text-small"><a class="font-semibold" href="/safety">Read our safety tips</a></p></div><div aria-hidden="true" class="flex min-w-0 flex-col gap-2.5 select-none"><div class="flex flex-col gap-1 items-start"><p class="text-micro font-semibold text-ink-2">Max</p><div class="max-w-[90%] rounded-sm px-3 py-2 text-small text-ink border border-rule-soft bg-raised">I&#x27;m stuck abroad and need to pay a customs fee. Could you send me some money?</div></div><div class="rounded-sm border-l-[3px] border-danger bg-danger-tint px-3.5 py-2.5 text-caption text-ink-2">This message mentions money or payments. Never send money, gift cards or bank details to someone you haven&#x27;t met, however good the reason sounds.</div></div></li></ul><p class="font-serif text-caption text-ink-3 italic">The examples show made-up members, Sam and Max.</p></div><a href="#join" class="inline-flex items-center justify-center gap-2 rounded-sm font-sans text-small leading-tight transition-colors disabled:cursor-not-allowed disabled:opacity-45 aria-disabled:cursor-not-allowed aria-disabled:opacity-45 border-[1.5px] border-ink bg-transparent font-semibold text-ink no-underline hover:bg-tint hover:text-ink min-h-11 px-4.5 py-1.5 text-center self-start">Join for free</a></section><section aria-labelledby="spectrum-title" class="flex flex-col gap-10 border-t border-rule py-12 md:py-14"><div class="grid gap-4 lg:grid-cols-[minmax(0,4fr)_minmax(0,8fr)] lg:gap-18"><div class="flex flex-col gap-3.5"><p class="text-eyebrow font-semibold text-rose-deep uppercase">New</p><h2 id="spectrum-title" class="text-h2">Your spectrum star</h2></div><p class="max-w-measure text-ink-2 lg:pt-8">Many autistic people describe the spectrum as a colour wheel, not a line from “a little” to “very” autistic. Your spectrum star works the same way: 8 separate points for how you experience things like sound, touch, plans and conversation. It&#x27;s optional, and takes about 5 minutes once you&#x27;ve joined.</p></div><div class="@container">
49<ol role="list" class="grid gap-10 @2xl:grid-cols-2 @2xl:grid-rows-[auto_1fr] @min-[60rem]:grid-cols-[minmax(0,3fr)_minmax(0,4fr)_minmax(0,3fr)] @min-[60rem]:grid-rows-none @min-[60rem]:gap-x-12"><li class="min-w-0 border-t-2 pt-4 transition-colors duration-300 border-rule-soft @2xl:col-start-1 @2xl:row-start-1"><h3 class="flex items-baseline gap-3 text-lead"><span aria-hidden="true" class="font-serif text-h3 leading-none text-rose">1</span>Answer short statements</h3><p class="mt-1.5 text-small text-ink-2">There are 24: 3 for each of the star&#x27;s 8 points. You say how much each one is like you.</p><div aria-hidden="true" class="mt-5 flex flex-col gap-3 select-none"><div class="flex items-start gap-4"><div class="grid min-w-0 flex-1"><div class="col-start-1 row-start-1 transition-opacity duration-300 opacity-0"><p class="text-eyebrow font-semibold text-rose-deep uppercase">Senses</p><p class="mt-1 font-serif text-body text-ink">“<!-- -->I get tired quickly in noisy or crowded places.<!-- -->”</p></div><div class="col-start-1 row-start-1 transition-opacity duration-300 opacity-0"><p class="text-eyebrow font-semibold text-rose-deep uppercase">Plans</p><p class="mt-1 font-serif text-body text-ink">“<!-- -->I like to know the plan well before we meet.<!-- -->”</p></div><div class="col-start-1 row-start-1 transition-opacity duration-300 opacity-100"><p class="text-eyebrow font-semibold text-rose-deep uppercase">Thinking time</p><p class="mt-1 font-serif text-body text-ink">“<!-- -->I like time to think before I answer an important question.<!-- -->”</p></div></div><svg viewBox="0 0 200 200" class="overflow-visible size-16 shrink-0 @2xl:hidden" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><circle cx="100" cy="100" r="96" class="fill-none stroke-rule-soft" stroke-width="1" vector-effect="non-scaling-stroke"></circle><line x1="100" y1="100" x2="100" y2="4" class="stroke-rule-soft" stroke-width="1" vector-effect="non-scaling-stroke"></line><line x1="100" y1="100" x2="167.88225099390857" y2="32.117749006091444" class="stroke-rule-soft" stroke-width="1" vector-effect="non-scaling-stroke"></line><line x1="100" y1="100" x2="196" y2="100" class="stroke-rule-soft" stroke-width="1" vector-effect="non-scaling-stroke"></line><line x1="100" y1="100" x2="167.88225099390857" y2="167.88225099390854" class="stroke-rule-soft" stroke-width="1" vector-effect="non-scaling-stroke"></line><line x1="100" y1="100" x2="100" y2="196" class="stroke-rule-soft" stroke-width="1" vector-effect="non-scaling-stroke"></line><line x1="100" y1="100" 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y2="158.97270555095807" class="stroke-rose" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" vector-effect="non-scaling-stroke"></line><line x1="158.97270555095807" y1="158.97270555095807" x2="100" y2="170.8" class="stroke-rose" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" vector-effect="non-scaling-stroke"></line><line x1="100" y1="170.8" x2="35.087597487074945" y2="164.91240251292507" class="stroke-rose" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" vector-effect="non-scaling-stroke"></line><line x1="35.087597487074945" y1="164.91240251292507" x2="71.2" y2="100" class="stroke-rose" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" vector-effect="non-scaling-stroke"></line><line x1="71.2" y1="100" x2="58.84638533494292" y2="58.84638533494294" class="stroke-rose" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" vector-effect="non-scaling-stroke"></line><line x1="58.84638533494292" y1="58.84638533494294" x2="100" y2="20.799999999999997" class="stroke-rose" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" vector-effect="non-scaling-stroke"></line><circle cx="100" cy="20.799999999999997" r="3.2" class="fill-rose"></circle><circle cx="129.27422074112306" cy="70.72577925887694" r="3.2" class="fill-rose"></circle><circle cx="133" cy="100" r="3.2" class="fill-rose"></circle><circle cx="158.97270555095807" cy="158.97270555095807" r="3.2" class="fill-rose"></circle><circle cx="100" cy="170.8" r="3.2" class="fill-rose"></circle><circle cx="35.087597487074945" cy="164.91240251292507" r="3.2" class="fill-rose"></circle><circle cx="71.2" cy="100" r="3.2" class="fill-rose"></circle><circle cx="58.84638533494292" cy="58.84638533494294" r="3.2" class="fill-rose"></circle></svg></div><div class="flex flex-wrap gap-2"><div class="grid min-w-0 flex-[1_1_15rem] grid-cols-4 overflow-hidden rounded-sm border-[1.5px] border-field bg-raised"><span class="relative flex min-h-11 items-center justify-center overflow-hidden px-1.5 py-1 text-center text-caption leading-tight text-balance text-ink transition-colors border-l-[1.5px] border-field first:border-l-0">Not like me</span><span class="relative flex min-h-11 items-center justify-center overflow-hidden px-1.5 py-1 text-center text-caption leading-tight text-balance text-ink transition-colors border-l-[1.5px] border-field first:border-l-0">A bit like me</span><span class="relative flex min-h-11 items-center justify-center overflow-hidden px-1.5 py-1 text-center text-caption leading-tight text-balance text-ink transition-colors border-l-[1.5px] border-field first:border-l-0 bg-rose font-semibold text-on-action">Quite like me</span><span class="relative flex min-h-11 items-center justify-center overflow-hidden px-1.5 py-1 text-center text-caption leading-tight text-balance text-ink transition-colors border-l-[1.5px] border-field first:border-l-0">Very like me</span></div><span class="relative flex min-h-11 items-center justify-center overflow-hidden px-1.5 py-1 text-center text-caption leading-tight text-balance text-ink transition-colors rounded-sm border-[1.5px] border-dashed border-field bg-raised px-3">It depends</span></div><div class="grid text-small"><p class="col-start-1 row-start-1 transition-opacity duration-300 opacity-0"><span class="font-semibold text-ink">Your star says:</span> <span class="text-ink-2">Very aware of sound, light and crowds</span></p><p class="col-start-1 row-start-1 transition-opacity duration-300 opacity-0"><span class="font-semibold text-ink">Your star says:</span> <span class="text-ink-2">Likes to know the plan in advance</span></p><p class="col-start-1 row-start-1 transition-opacity duration-300 opacity-100"><span class="font-semibold text-ink">Your star says:</span> <span class="text-ink-2">Likes time to think before answering</span></p></div></div><p class="sr-only">For example: “<!-- -->I like time to think before I answer an important question.<!-- -->” If you answer “<!-- -->Quite like me<!-- -->”, your star says: “<!-- -->Likes time to think before answering<!-- -->”.</p></li><li class="min-w-0 border-t-2 pt-4 transition-colors duration-300 border-rule-soft @2xl:col-start-2 @2xl:row-span-2 @2xl:row-start-1 @min-[60rem]:row-span-1"><h3 class="flex items-baseline gap-3 text-lead"><span aria-hidden="true" class="font-serif text-h3 leading-none text-rose">2</span>Your answers make your star</h3><p class="mt-1.5 text-small text-ink-2">Each answer moves one point towards the middle or the outside. It isn&#x27;t a test, and there&#x27;s no score: a bigger star isn&#x27;t better, or more autistic.</p><figure class="mt-2"><div role="img" aria-label="An example spectrum star, with a made-up member&#x27;s star drawn over it as a dashed line." class="relative aspect-square w-full mx-auto max-w-[26rem]"><div class="absolute" style="inset:22.00%"><svg viewBox="0 0 200 200" class="overflow-visible size-full" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><circle cx="100" cy="100" r="96" class="fill-none stroke-rule-soft" stroke-width="1" vector-effect="non-scaling-stroke"></circle><line x1="100" y1="100" x2="100" y2="4" class="stroke-rule-soft" stroke-width="1" vector-effect="non-scaling-stroke"></line><line x1="100" y1="100" x2="167.88225099390857" y2="32.117749006091444" class="stroke-rule-soft" stroke-width="1" vector-effect="non-scaling-stroke"></line><line x1="100" y1="100" x2="196" y2="100" class="stroke-rule-soft" stroke-width="1" vector-effect="non-scaling-stroke"></line><line x1="100" y1="100" x2="167.88225099390857" y2="167.88225099390854" class="stroke-rule-soft" stroke-width="1" vector-effect="non-scaling-stroke"></line><line x1="100" y1="100" x2="100" y2="196" class="stroke-rule-soft" stroke-width="1" vector-effect="non-scaling-stroke"></line><line x1="100" y1="100" x2="32.117749006091444" y2="167.88225099390857" class="stroke-rule-soft" stroke-width="1" vector-effect="non-scaling-stroke"></line><line x1="100" y1="100" x2="4" y2="100.00000000000001" class="stroke-rule-soft" stroke-width="1" vector-effect="non-scaling-stroke"></line><line x1="100" y1="100" x2="32.11774900609143" y2="32.117749006091444" class="stroke-rule-soft" stroke-width="1" vector-effect="non-scaling-stroke"></line><polygon points="100.0,20.8 129.3,70.7 133.0,100.0 159.0,159.0 100.0,170.8 35.1,164.9 71.2,100.0 58.8,58.8" class="fill-rose/15 stroke-none"></polygon><line x1="100" y1="20.799999999999997" x2="129.27422074112306" y2="70.72577925887694" class="stroke-rose" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" vector-effect="non-scaling-stroke"></line><line x1="129.27422074112306" y1="70.72577925887694" x2="133" y2="100" class="stroke-rose" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" vector-effect="non-scaling-stroke"></line><line x1="133" y1="100" x2="158.97270555095807" y2="158.97270555095807" class="stroke-rose" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" vector-effect="non-scaling-stroke"></line><line x1="158.97270555095807" y1="158.97270555095807" x2="100" y2="170.8" class="stroke-rose" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" vector-effect="non-scaling-stroke"></line>
49<line x1="100" y1="170.8" x2="35.087597487074945" y2="164.91240251292507" class="stroke-rose" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" vector-effect="non-scaling-stroke"></line><line x1="35.087597487074945" y1="164.91240251292507" x2="71.2" y2="100" class="stroke-rose" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" vector-effect="non-scaling-stroke"></line><line x1="71.2" y1="100" x2="58.84638533494292" y2="58.84638533494294" class="stroke-rose" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" vector-effect="non-scaling-stroke"></line><line x1="58.84638533494292" y1="58.84638533494294" x2="100" y2="20.799999999999997" class="stroke-rose" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" vector-effect="non-scaling-stroke"></line><polygon points="100.0,29.2 138.2,61.8 137.2,100.0 126.3,126.3 100.0,179.2 44.0,156.0 62.8,100.0 49.9,49.9" class="fill-none stroke-ink-2" stroke-width="1.5" stroke-dasharray="5 4" stroke-linejoin="round" vector-effect="non-scaling-stroke"></polygon><circle cx="100" cy="20.799999999999997" r="3.2" class="fill-rose"></circle><circle cx="129.27422074112306" cy="70.72577925887694" r="3.2" class="fill-rose"></circle><circle cx="133" cy="100" r="3.2" class="fill-rose"></circle><circle cx="158.97270555095807" cy="158.97270555095807" r="3.2" class="fill-rose"></circle><circle cx="100" cy="170.8" r="3.2" class="fill-rose"></circle><circle cx="35.087597487074945" cy="164.91240251292507" r="3.2" class="fill-rose"></circle><circle cx="71.2" cy="100" r="3.2" class="fill-rose"></circle><circle cx="58.84638533494292" cy="58.84638533494294" r="3.2" class="fill-rose"></circle></svg></div><span aria-hidden="true" style="left:50.00%;top:17.00%;max-width:40.00%;transform:translate(-50%, -100%);text-align:center" class="absolute w-max text-micro leading-tight text-balance text-ink-2">Senses</span><span aria-hidden="true" style="left:73.33%;top:26.67%;max-width:25.67%;transform:translate(0%, -100%);text-align:left" class="absolute w-max text-micro leading-tight text-balance text-ink-2">Affection</span><span aria-hidden="true" style="left:83.00%;top:50.00%;max-width:16.00%;transform:translate(0%, -50%);text-align:left" class="absolute w-max text-micro leading-tight text-balance text-ink-2">Social energy</span><span aria-hidden="true" style="left:73.33%;top:73.33%;max-width:25.67%;transform:translate(0%, 0%);text-align:left" class="absolute w-max text-micro leading-tight text-balance text-ink-2">Directness</span><span aria-hidden="true" style="left:50.00%;top:83.00%;max-width:40.00%;transform:translate(-50%, 0%);text-align:center" class="absolute w-max text-micro leading-tight text-balance text-ink-2">Thinking time</span><span aria-hidden="true" style="left:26.67%;top:73.33%;max-width:25.67%;transform:translate(-100%, 0%);text-align:right" class="absolute w-max text-micro leading-tight text-balance text-ink-2">Focus</span><span aria-hidden="true" style="left:17.00%;top:50.00%;max-width:16.00%;transform:translate(-100%, -50%);text-align:right" class="absolute w-max text-micro leading-tight text-balance text-ink-2">Plans</span><span aria-hidden="true" style="left:26.67%;top:26.67%;max-width:25.67%;transform:translate(-100%, -100%);text-align:right" class="absolute w-max text-micro leading-tight text-balance text-ink-2">Keeping track</span></div><figcaption class="text-center font-serif text-caption text-ink-3 italic">An example star.<span class="block transition-opacity duration-300 opacity-100">The dashed line is <!-- -->Sam<!-- -->&#x27;s, a made-up member.</span></figcaption></figure><div class="mt-1 flex justify-center"><button type="button" class="inline-flex items-center justify-center gap-2 rounded-sm font-sans text-small leading-tight transition-colors disabled:cursor-not-allowed disabled:opacity-45 aria-disabled:cursor-not-allowed aria-disabled:opacity-45 font-semibold text-link underline decoration-1 underline-offset-[0.2em] hover:text-rose p-0 text-start min-h-11">Play the example again</button></div></li><li class="min-w-0 border-t-2 pt-4 transition-colors duration-300 border-rule-soft @2xl:col-start-1 @2xl:row-start-2 @min-[60rem]:col-start-3 @min-[60rem]:row-start-1"><h3 class="flex items-baseline gap-3 text-lead"><span aria-hidden="true" class="font-serif text-h3 leading-none text-rose">3</span>See what you have in common</h3><p class="mt-1.5 text-small text-ink-2">
49When you and another member both share your stars, you each see what you have in common, and anything worth talking about. You choose who sees yours.</p><div class="mt-5 transition-[opacity,translate] duration-500 opacity-100"><p class="text-small font-semibold text-ink">What you&#x27;d see on <!-- -->Sam<!-- -->&#x27;s profile</p><div class="rounded-sm bg-tint px-5 py-4 mt-3"><h3 class="font-sans text-body font-semibold text-ink">Quite a bit in common</h3><ul class="mt-2 flex flex-col gap-1.5"><li class="grid grid-cols-[1.25rem_minmax(0,1fr)] text-ink-2"><span aria-hidden="true" class="text-rose">–</span>You both need plenty of time alone to recharge.</li><li class="grid grid-cols-[1.25rem_minmax(0,1fr)] text-ink-2"><span aria-hidden="true" class="text-rose">–</span>You&#x27;re both very aware of sound, light and crowds.</li><li class="grid grid-cols-[1.25rem_minmax(0,1fr)] text-ink-2"><span aria-hidden="true" class="text-rose">–</span>You both like to know the plan in advance.</li><li class="grid grid-cols-[1.25rem_minmax(0,1fr)] text-ink-2"><span aria-hidden="true" class="text-rose">–</span>You both like time to think before answering.</li></ul><p class="mt-3 text-ink-2"><strong class="font-semibold text-ink">Worth talking about: </strong>Sam prefers things to be said more gently than you might say them.</p><p class="mt-3 text-caption text-ink-3">From your two stars. It can&#x27;t say whether you&#x27;ll get on: only talking can.</p></div></div></li></ol></div><div class="flex flex-col items-start gap-x-6 gap-y-3 sm:flex-row sm:items-center"><a class="inline-flex items-center justify-center gap-2 rounded-sm font-sans text-small leading-tight transition-colors disabled:cursor-not-allowed disabled:opacity-45 aria-disabled:cursor-not-allowed aria-disabled:opacity-45 border-[1.5px] border-transparent bg-rose font-semibold text-on-action no-underline hover:bg-rose-deep hover:text-on-action min-h-12 px-6 py-2 text-center" href="/spectrum-star/try">Try it out<span class="sr-only">: the spectrum star</span></a><p class="max-w-measure text-small text-ink-2">See your own star before you join. Nothing you choose is saved.</p></div></section><section aria-labelledby="features-title" class="grid gap-8 border-t border-rule py-12 md:py-14 lg:grid-cols-[minmax(0,4fr)_minmax(0,8fr)] lg:gap-18"><div class="flex flex-col gap-3.5"><h2 id="features-title" class="text-h2">What members can do</h2><p class="text-small"><a class="font-semibold" href="/features">See every feature, with examples</a></p></div><div><ol class="grid gap-x-12 md:grid-cols-2"><li class="grid grid-cols-[2.25rem_minmax(0,1fr)] border-b border-rule-soft py-3.5"><span class="font-serif text-[1.0625rem] text-rose" aria-hidden="true">01</span><span><strong class="text-ink">Send messages</strong>. <span class="text-ink-2">Free for every member. Write to anyone.</span></span></li><li class="grid grid-cols-[2.25rem_minmax(0,1fr)] border-b border-rule-soft py-3.5"><span class="font-serif text-[1.0625rem] text-rose" aria-hidden="true">02</span><span><strong class="text-ink">Friend requests</strong>. <span class="text-ink-2">Ask to be friends. They can say yes or no.</span></span></li><li class="grid grid-cols-[2.25rem_minmax(0,1fr)] border-b border-rule-soft py-3.5"><span class="font-serif text-[1.0625rem] text-rose" aria-hidden="true">03</span><span><strong class="text-ink">Likes and matches</strong>. <span class="text-ink-2">If you both like each other, it is a match.</span></span></li><li class="grid grid-cols-[2.25rem_minmax(0,1fr)] border-b border-rule-soft py-3.5"><span class="font-serif text-[1.0625rem] text-rose" aria-hidden="true">04</span><span><strong class="text-ink">Favourites</strong>. <span class="text-ink-2">Save members so you can find them again. Only you can see who you saved.</span></span></li><li class="grid grid-cols-[2.25rem_minmax(0,1fr)] border-b border-rule-soft py-3.5"><span class="font-serif text-[1.0625rem] text-rose" aria-hidden="true">05</span><span><strong class="text-ink">See who visited you</strong>. <span class="text-ink-2">A list of members who looked at your profile.</span></span></li><li class="grid grid-cols-[2.25rem_minmax(0,1fr)] border-b border-rule-soft py-3.5"><span class="font-serif text-[1.0625rem] text-rose" aria-hidden="true">06</span><span><strong class="text-ink">Photo verification</strong>. <span class="text-ink-2">Take a live photo so the site&#x27;s admins can check you match your main photo. Your profile then shows a “Photo verified” tick.</span></span></li><li class="grid grid-cols-[2.25rem_minmax(0,1fr)] border-b border-rule-soft py-3.5"><span class="font-serif text-[1.0625rem] text-rose" aria-hidden="true">07</span><span><strong class="text-ink">Discover members</strong>. <span class="text-ink-2">Everyone you could meet, wherever they live. The people you have most in common with come first.</span></span></li><li class="grid grid-cols-[2.25rem_minmax(0,1fr)] border-b border-rule-soft py-3.5"><span class="font-serif text-[1.0625rem] text-rose" aria-hidden="true">08</span><span><strong class="text-ink">Interests</strong>. <span class="text-ink-2">Find people who like the same things.</span></span></li><li class="grid grid-cols-[2.25rem_minmax(0,1fr)] border-b border-rule-soft py-3.5"><span class="font-serif text-[1.0625rem] text-rose" aria-hidden="true">09</span><span><strong class="text-ink">Four in a Row</strong>. <span class="text-ink-2">Play a game with someone you&#x27;re talking to. There&#x27;s no time limit, and either of you can stop.</span></span></li><li class="grid grid-cols-[2.25rem_minmax(0,1fr)] border-b border-rule-soft py-3.5"><span class="font-serif text-[1.0625rem] text-rose" aria-hidden="true">10</span><span><strong class="text-ink">Guess the Word</strong>. <span class="text-ink-2">Take turns to guess a hidden word with someone you&#x27;
49re talking to. You win or lose together.</span></span></li><li class="grid grid-cols-[2.25rem_minmax(0,1fr)] border-b border-rule-soft py-3.5"><span class="font-serif text-[1.0625rem] text-rose" aria-hidden="true">11</span><span><strong class="text-ink">Sea Battle</strong>. <span class="text-ink-2">Hide your ships, then take turns to find each other&#x27;s, with someone you&#x27;re talking to.</span></span></li><li class="grid grid-cols-[2.25rem_minmax(0,1fr)] border-b border-rule-soft py-3.5"><span class="font-serif text-[1.0625rem] text-rose" aria-hidden="true">12</span><span><strong class="text-ink">Quizzes</strong>. <span class="text-ink-2">Make a quiz for other members to answer.</span></span></li><li class="grid grid-cols-[2.25rem_minmax(0,1fr)] border-b border-rule-soft py-3.5"><span class="font-serif text-[1.0625rem] text-rose" aria-hidden="true">13</span><span><strong class="text-ink">Member blogs</strong>. <span class="text-ink-2">Write posts that show on your profile, and comment on other members&#x27; posts.</span></span></li></ol></div></section><section aria-labelledby="blog-title" class="flex flex-col gap-8 border-t border-rule py-12 md:py-14"><div class="grid gap-4 lg:grid-cols-[minmax(0,4fr)_minmax(0,8fr)] lg:gap-18"><h2 id="blog-title" class="text-h2">From the blog</h2><p class="max-w-measure text-ink-2 lg:pt-1">Advice on dating and relationships, written for autistic adults and based on research.</p></div><ul class="grid gap-x-10 gap-y-8 md:grid-cols-3"><li class="flex flex-col gap-3 border-b border-rule-soft pb-6 md:border-b-0 md:pb-0"><a class="block aspect-[3/2] overflow-hidden placeholder-stripes" tabindex="-1" aria-hidden="true" href="https://autisticdating.net/blog/dating-tips-for-autistic-adults"><img src="https://autisticdating.net/storage/blog/2026/10/01m48e48r4m5rd1tw3vzk9akmq.png" alt="" loading="lazy" class="size-full object-cover"/></a><p class="text-eyebrow font-semibold text-rose-deep uppercase">Dating advice</p><h3 class="text-lead"><a class="text-ink no-underline hover:text-link hover:underline" href="https://autisticdating.net/blog/dating-tips-for-autistic-adults">Dating tips for autistic adults: a practical guide</a></h3><p class="text-caption text-ink-3">10 minutes to read</p></li><li class="flex flex-col gap-3 border-b border-rule-soft pb-6 md:border-b-0 md:pb-0"><a class="block aspect-[3/2] overflow-hidden placeholder-stripes" tabindex="-1" aria-hidden="true" href="https://autisticdating.net/blog/should-i-tell-my-date-im-autistic"><img src="https://autisticdating.net/storage/blog/2026/10/01m48e4a43k887gwvmsa0m5hfk.png" alt="" loading="lazy" class="size-full object-cover"/></a><p class="text-eyebrow font-semibold text-rose-deep uppercase">Dating advice</p><h3 class="text-lead"><a class="text-ink no-underline hover:text-link hover:underline" href="https://autisticdating.net/blog/should-i-tell-my-date-im-autistic">Should I tell my date I&#x27;m autistic? When and how to say it</a></h3><p class="text-caption text-ink-3">8 minutes to read</p></li><li class="flex flex-col gap-3 border-b border-rule-soft pb-6 md:border-b-0 md:pb-0"><a class="block aspect-[3/2] overflow-hidden placeholder-stripes" tabindex="-1" aria-hidden="true" href="https://autisticdating.net/blog/how-to-tell-if-an-autistic-person-likes-you"><img src="https://autisticdating.net/storage/blog/2026/10/01m48e49gy13r5m4mzrzpy9sr3.png" alt="" loading="lazy" class="size-full object-cover"/></a><p class="text-eyebrow font-semibold text-rose-deep uppercase">Dating advice</p><h3 class="text-lead"><a class="text-ink no-underline hover:text-link hover:underline" href="https://autisticdating.net/blog/how-to-tell-if-an-autistic-person-likes-you">How to tell if an autistic person likes you, and how autistic people flirt</a></h3><p class="text-caption text-ink-3">12 minutes to read</p></li></ul><p class="text-small"><a class="font-semibold" href="/blog">Read all the posts</a></p></section></main></div><footer data-color-scheme="dark" data-footer="" class="mt-auto bg-paper text-ink"><div class="page-wrap grid gap-x-12 gap-y-10 pt-12 pb-10 lg:grid-cols-[minmax(0,2fr)_minmax(0,3fr)] lg:pt-16 lg:pb-14"><div><a class="inline-block rounded-sm no-underline" href="/"><svg viewBox="0 0 3957 1723" role="img" aria-label="Autistic Dating" class="block aspect-[3957/1723] w-auto h-12 lg:h-14"><path class="fill-ink" d="M1319 1470H1566Q1658 1470 1729 1431Q1800 1392 1841 1317Q1881 1243 1881 1136Q1881 1031 1844 95
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