PageSourceSearch

http://www.juvalamu.com/qmarks/

html juvalamu.com collected 2026-10-02 12:48:56 UTC 71,851 bytes, 1,653 lines download raw bytes

1<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 3.2 Final//EN">
2
3<HTML>
4<HEAD>
5<META NAME="description" CONTENT="Updated 7/28/2000! You've ''seen'' them. Maybe on a sign at the ''grocery'' store, maybe in an ad in your ''local'' newspaper.  Even in a ''memo'' that circulated throughout your company.  They're quotation marks, and they turn up in the strangest of places. Such as...">
6<META NAME="keywords" CONTENT="quotation marks, quote, unquote, gallery, misused, grammar, bad grammar, Maaco, Sleepys, WWWAC, World Wide Web Artists Consortium">
7    <META HTTP-EQUIV="Expires" CONTENT="Wed, 01 Jan 1990 00:00:01 GMT">
8	<META HTTP-EQUIV="Pragma" CONTENT="no-cache">
9
10<TITLE>Gallery of ''Misused'' Quotation Marks</TITLE>
11</HEAD>
12
13<BODY BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#330066" LINK="#FF0080" VLINK="#800000" ALINK="#00FFFF">
14
15<!--
16<CENTER>
17<A HREF="http://www.cdnow.com/from=sr-829968"><IMG SRC="http://gs.cdnow.com/MN/cdnow.buyweb_credit/upgrade/graphics/xswfb_468x60.gif" WIDTH="468" HEIGHT="60" BORDER="0" ALT="CDnow"></A>
18<BR>
19<FONT SIZE="-1">Show your &quot;support&quot; for the Gallery!  Click <a HREF="http://www.cdnow.com/from=sr-829968">here</a> to shop at CDnow and the Curator earns credit!</FONT>
20<BR>
21</CENTER>
22 -->
23 <BR>
24<TABLE WIDTH="100%" BORDER="0" CELLSPACING="0" CELLPADDING="5" ALIGN="CENTER">
25<TR>
26<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
27<FONT FACE="Verdana, Helvetica, Arial" SIZE="-1"><B>A Yahoo <A HREF="http://www.yahoo.com/Entertainment/Cool_Links/Entertainment/">Cool &quot;Link&quot;</A></B>
28<BR>
29<BR>
30<B>Some people think this is a &quot;<A HREF="http://www.theweirdsite.com">Weird Site</A>!&quot;</B>
31</FONT>
32</TD>
33<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="CENTER" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
34<H1 ALIGN="CENTER">The Gallery Of &quot;Misused&quot; Quotation Marks</H1>
35</TD>
36</TR>
37<TR>
38<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
39<FONT FACE="Verdana, Helvetica, Arial" SIZE="-1">
40<B>&quot;Featured&quot; on <A HREF="http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/weblinks/hln/">Headline News and/or CNN</A>!</B>
41<BR><BR>
42<B>&quot;As heard&quot; on <A HREF="http://www.internetminute.com/">Internet Minute</A></B></FONT>
43<BR><BR>
44<FONT FACE="Verdana, Helvetica, Arial" SIZE="-1">You've <B>&quot;</B>seen<B>&quot;</B>
45them.
46<BR>
47<BR>
48Maybe on a sign at the <B>&quot;</B>grocery<B>&quot;</B> store, maybe in an ad in your <B>&quot;</B>local<B>&quot;</B> newspaper. Perhaps even in a <B>&quot;</B>memo<B>&quot;</B> that circulated throughout your company.
49<BR>
50<BR>
51They're quotation marks, and they turn up in the strangest of places.
52<BR><BR>
53</FONT>
54
55<!-- <FONT FACE="Verdana, Helvetica, Arial" SIZE="-1">Tired of checking for new donations day after day (week after week, month after month)?  Use <A HREF="#nmform">this handy form</A> and get an automatic e-mail whenever the page changes!
56<BR><BR>
57
58
59I enjoy all the comments I receive, even though I'm very rarely able to respond to them.  (You can e-mail me at <A HREF="mailto:qmarks at juvalamu dot com">qmarks at juvalamu dot com</A>.)  My favorite e-mails are the ones from people who take time out of their very busy lives to chastise me for obviously not having a life of my own since I spend so much time worrying about quotation marks.  One of these days I'll put up some of the particularly &quot;choice&quot; remarks. (But I've got to get all the donations up first!)
60</FONT>
61 -->
62</TD>
63<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
64<CENTER><IMG SRC="images/galleryplan.gif" WIDTH=421 HEIGHT=242 ALT="" BORDER=0 USEMAP="#galmap">
65<BR>
66[&nbsp;&nbsp;<A HREF="#current">&quot;Current&quot; Exhibits</A>&nbsp;&nbsp;] [&nbsp;&nbsp;<A HREF="perm.html">Permanent &quot;Collection&quot;</A>&nbsp;&nbsp;] [&nbsp;&nbsp;<A HREF="donate.html">Donation &quot;Rotunda&quot;</A>&nbsp;&nbsp;]</CENTER>
67<BR>
68<MAP NAME="galmap">
69<AREA SHAPE="RECT" COORDS="42,36,275,123" HREF="#current" ALT="Curent Exhibits">
70<AREA SHAPE="RECT" COORDS="80,126,219,207" HREF="donate.html" ALT="Donation Rotunda">
71<AREA SHAPE="RECT" COORDS="222,127,404,206" HREF="perm.html" ALT="Permanent Collection">
72</MAP>
73<BR>
74<A NAME="current"></A>
75<H2 ALIGN="CENTER">C&nbsp;u&nbsp;r&nbsp;r&nbsp;e&nbsp;n&nbsp;t&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;E&nbsp;x&nbsp;h&nbsp;i&nbsp;b&nbsp;i&nbsp;t&nbsp;s</H2>
76<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I><STRONG>
76Notes from the <A HREF="mailto:qmarks at juvalamu dot com">curator</A>: </STRONG>August 25, 2000 - Over 10 new &quot;exhibits&quot; just added!  That makes 60+ exhibits added since July 28!  I'm sheepishly pleased to report that the donation backlog is down to 14 months, and I'm continuing to work through it.
77<BR><BR>
78The rest of this message is essentially unchanged from July 28.
79<BR><BR>
80Welcome <A HREF="http://www.etour.com" TARGET="_new">eTour</A> and Swedish visitors!  I've noticed a lot of folks visiting via the eTour site and also by following a link on this <A HREF="http://www.translator.se/pages/avigsidan/avigt002a.html" TARGET="_new">Swedish site</A>.  <BR><BR>
81I get a lot of e-mail from people suggesting that I add a section for misused apostrophes.  Sorry, folks, but it's not going to happen.  First of all, the reason I started this site almost four years ago was because I was at once amused and mystified by the peculiar usage of quotation marks.  Misused apostrophes usually aren't that funny; they're just annoying.  Even if I wanted to do such a site, I just don't have the time (especially since apostrophe misuse is much more widespread, I think, than misused quotation marks).  A friend of mine has been thinking of doing a misused apostrophe site, so if he ever does I'll let you know. In the meantime, you may want to take a look at <A HREF="http://www.nuff.ox.ac.uk/Users/Martin/APOST/Apostrop.htm">The Home For Abused Apostrophes</A> -- not a lot there, but high quality choices.
82<BR><BR>
83Now, enough &quot;ranting&quot; -- on to the latest additions...</I>
84<BR><BR>
85<DIV ALIGN="center"><HR WIDTH="60%"></DIV>
86</TD>
87</TR>
88<!-- BEGIN LINKEXCHANGE CODE
89<TR>
90<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
91<IMG SRC="../images/sep.gif" WIDTH=1 HEIGHT=1 ALT="" BORDER="0"></TD>
92<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
93<CENTER><iframe src="http://leader.linkexchange.com/1/X507630/showiframe?" width=468 height=60 frameborder=1 scrolling=no>
94<a href="http://leader.linkexchange.com/1/X507630/clickle" target="_top"><img width=468 height=60 border=0 ismap alt="" src="http://leader.linkexchange.com/1/X507630/showle?"></a>
95</iframe>
96<br>
97<a href="http://leader.linkexchange.com/1/X507630/clicklogo" target="_top"><img src="http://leader.linkexchange.com/1/X507630/showlogo?" width=468 height=16 border=0 ismap alt=""><br><font size=1>LinkExchange &quot;Member&quot;</font></a>
98<br></CENTER>
99</TD>
100</TR>
101END LINKEXCHANGE CODE -->
102</TABLE>
103<TABLE WIDTH="100%" BORDER="0" CELLSPACING="0" CELLPADDING="5" ALIGN="CENTER">
104<TR>
105<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
106<H2><TT>exhibit 9906.13</TT></H2>
107<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
108</TD>
109<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
110<BR>
111<DL>
112<DD>
113This was on a homemade <B>sign at a flea market</B>:
114<BR>
115<TT>all swimsuits are clean and </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>sanitized</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>
116<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>At least they're clean!</I>
117</DL>
118</TD>
119</TR>
120
121<TR>
122<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
123<H2><TT>exhibit 9906.12</TT></H2>
124<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
125</TD>
126<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
127<BR>
128<DL>
129<DD>
130I saw this bizzare <B>sign at the watch repair center</B> of a local department store:
131<BR>
132<TT>Orders ready</TT><BR>
133<TT>in SEVEN </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>7</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><BR>
134<TT> -- days.</TT>
135<BR>
136As if misused quotes weren't bad enough, they had to write the seven twice and add the dash for no apprarent reason!!
137<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>A day here, a day there, before you know it a &quot;week&quot; has gone by.</I>
138</DL>
139</TD>
140</TR>
141
142<TR>
143<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
144<H2><TT>exhibit 9906.11</TT></H2>
145<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
146</TD>
147<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
148<BR>
149<DL>
150<DD>
151Seen <B>on a van</B> this morning:
152<BR>
153<TT>Casa Bonita. Taking care of your </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>beautiful house</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>
154<BR>
155Yeah, they must have seen my house lately.
156<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Maybe, just maybe, they put &quot;beautiful house&quot; in quotation marks because it's the translation of Casa Bonita. But maybe not.</I>
157</DL>
158</TD>
159</TR>
160
161<TR>
162<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
163<H2><TT>exhibit 9906.10</TT></H2>
164<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
165</TD>
166<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
167<BR>
168<DL>
169<DD>
170<B>Sign on friend's front door</B>:
171<BR>
172<TT>Doorbell </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>out of order.</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> Please </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>knock</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> or </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>rattle</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> letterbox.</TT>
173
174<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Is your friend wondering why nobody comes to visit anymore?</I>
175</DL>
176</TD>
177</TR>
178
179<TR>
180<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
181<H2><TT>exhibit 9906.09</TT></H2>
182<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
183</TD>
184<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
185<BR>
186<DL>
187<DD>
188To pay <B>
188my monthly phone bill</B>, I rip off the bottom of the bill, thoughtfully marked:
189<BR>
190<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>Send</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>
191<BR>
192and keep the top half, marked:
193<BR>
194<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>Keep</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>
195<BR>
196What do you mean you shut off my service? I already "sent" the bill.
197<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Maybe so, but did you &quot;keep&quot; the money?</I>
198</DL>
199</TD>
200</TR>
201
202<TR>
203<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
204<H2><TT>exhibit 9906.08</TT></H2>
205<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
206</TD>
207<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
208<BR>
209<DL>
210<DD>
211The <B>sign by the deposit drawer</B> outside my bank says:
212<BR>
213<TT>Please </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>Do Not</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> deposit cash.</TT>
214<BR>
215I wonder if this is why my checks always bounce?
216<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>If you deposit cash anyway I'm sure your account will be &quot;credited.&quot;</I>
217</DL>
218</TD>
219</TR>
220
221<TR>
222<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
223<H2><TT>exhibit 9906.07</TT></H2>
224<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
225</TD>
226<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
227<BR>
228<DL>
229<DD>
230An <B>ad for a Disney movie screening and stage show</B> at the El Capitan Theater in Hollywood mentioned that the show would feature:
231<BR>
232<TT>the</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>mighty</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> Wurlitzer pipe organ</TT>
233<BR>
234Is it me, or do those quotes around &quot;mighty&quot; serve to unwittingly malign the status and performance of their own vintage organ? Thank you, Disney.
235<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Perhaps old Walt himself once described that organ as &quot;mighty&quot; and since then they've always had to refer to it that way.</I>
236</DL>
237</TD>
238</TR>
239
240<TR>
241<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
242<H2><TT>exhibit 9906.06</TT></H2>
243<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
244</TD>
245<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
246<BR>
247<DL>
248<DD>
249I was driving in northern Minnesota when I saw <B>a billboard for a car dealership</B> that claimed it had been around:
250<BR>
251<TT>since</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>1953</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>
252<BR>
253Perhaps all of their cars were &quot;classics.&quot;
254<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Wait here while I &quot;check&quot; with my manager.</I>
255</DL>
256</TD>
257</TR>
258
259<TR>
260<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
261<H2><TT>exhibit 9906.05</TT></H2>
262<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
263</TD>
264<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
265<BR>
266<DL>
267<DD>
268At Baylor University, home of the Baylor Bears and one or two Branch Davidians, I found <B>a throw rug</B> that alerted people to the following:
269<BR>
270<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>You're in</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> Bear Country</TT>
271<BR>
272It baffles me to this day. Is it an obscure form of second person, like the vosotros tense? A pun on &quot;urine&quot; perhaps?
273<BR>
274As my degree from Baylor is a guaranteed ticket into heaven, I'll ask the Big Guy when I get there, and try to report back.
275<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>I think you mean &quot;report&quot; back.</I>
276</DL>
277</TD>
278</TR>
279
280<TR>
281<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
282<H2><TT>exhibit 9906.04</TT></H2>
283<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
284</TD>
285<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
286<BR>
287<DL>
288<DD>
289I was in a grocery store in my neighbourhood and I saw a <B>cylinder shaped food package</B> called:
290<BR>
291<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>real</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> bacon bits</TT>
292<BR>
293
294<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Suitable for vegetarians!</I>
295</DL>
296</TD>
297</TR>
298
299<TR>
300<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
301<H2><TT>exhibit 9906.03</TT></H2>
302<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
303</TD>
304<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
305<BR>
306<DL>
307<DD>
308The NJ Transit employee cafeteria once featured a <B>hand made sign on an ice machine</B> that read:
309<BR>
310<TT>Please don't take large buckets of </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>ice</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> from this machine.<BR>
311Go to the other machine in the back.
312</TT>
313<BR>
314Was it ice?  Or could it have been shards of &quot;glass&quot;?
315<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>I don't know, but if I were you I'd just go straight to the other machine in the back whenever I needed</I> any <I>ice.</I>
316</DL>
317</TD>
318</TR>
319
320<TR>
321<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
322<H2><TT>exhibit 9906.02</TT></H2>
323<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
324</TD>
325<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
326<BR>
327<DL>
328<DD>
329My mother sent my husband and me <B>a Valentine's Day card</B>. Printed on the front was:
330<BR>
331<TT>To a special daughter and </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>son.</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>
332<BR>
333I'm sure my husband really felt like one of the family after that.
334<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Sorry, I'm gonna have to side with the Mom on this one.</I>
335</DL>
336</TD>
337</TR>
338
339<TR>
340<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
341<H2><TT>exhibit 9906.01</TT></H2>
342<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
343</TD>
344<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
345<BR>
346<DL>
347<DD>
348A <B>sign at the swimming pool</B> at Reed College in Portland, OR asks you to:
349<BR>
350<TT>Please </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>shower</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> before entering the pool.</TT>
351<BR>
352Maybe they knew that no one bothers with more than a quick rinse.
353<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>I hope they don't get a summons from the Board of &quot;Health.&quot;</I>
354</DL>
355</TD>
356</TR>
357
358<TR>
359<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
360<H2><TT>exhibit 9905.11</TT></H2>
361<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
362</TD>
363<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
364<BR>
365<DL>
366<DD>
367Sign on a <B>local grocery store</B>:
368<BR>
369<TT>Welcome to </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>YOUR</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> Hy-Vee</TT>
370<BR>
371I guess it's not really &quot;ours,&quot; now is it?
372<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>No, but maybe they won't mind if you borrow it for a little while.</I>
373</DL>
374</TD>
375</TR>
376
377<TR>
378<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
379<H2><TT>exhibit 9905.10</TT></H2>
380<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
381</TD>
382<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
383<BR>
384<DL>
385<DD>
386I saw this <B>at a craft fair</B> that was set up to raise money for the Kosovar refugees.  The sign read:
387<BR>
388<TT>All proceeds will go to </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>Kosovo</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>
389<BR>
390<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Kosovo </I>Texas<I>, that is!</I>
391</DL>
392</TD>
393</TR>
394
395<TR>
396<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
397<H2><TT>exhibit 9905.09</TT></H2>
398<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
399</TD>
400<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
401<BR>
402<DL>
403<DD>
404On one of <B>our comment cards</B>, a customer wrote the following:
405<BR>
406<TT>Laura and Joann are always so very professional and courteous  </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>human being</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>
407<TT> type people.</TT>
408<BR>
409<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Boy, talk about damning with faint praise!</I>
410</DL>
411</TD>
412</TR>
413
414<TR>
415<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
416<H2><TT>exhibit 9905.08</TT></H2>
417<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
418</TD>
419<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
420<BR>
421<DL>
422<DD>
423<B>Sign outside a gas station/mini-mart</B> in Bloomington, IN:
424<BR>
425<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>MILK</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>
426<BR>
427<TT>$1.99</TT>
428<BR>
429(I've always been uneasy with the idea of buying food at the gas station.  Now I know why.)
430<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>If your car dies on the highway I'd check out the &quot;gas.&quot;</I>
431</DL>
432</TD>
433</TR>
434
435<TR>
436<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
437<H2><TT>exhibit 9905.07</TT></H2>
438<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
439</TD>
440<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
441<BR>
442<DL>
443<DD>
444Saw this one <B>on a freeway in Houston</B>:
445<BR>
446<TT>ROAD </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>WORK</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> AHEAD</TT>
447<BR>
448I'm just surprised they were so honest.<BR>
449<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>And they're sure to finish &quot;on schedule.&quot;</I>
450</DL>
451</TD>
452</TR>
453
454<TR>
455<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
456<H2><TT>exhibit 9905.06</TT></H2>
457<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
458</TD>
459<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
460<BR>
461<DL>
462<DD>
463The <B>menu from The Tavern restaurant</B> in Charlottesville, Virginia, informs patrons that:
464<BR>
465<TT>
466All pancakes are served with </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>whipped</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> butter.</TT>
467<BR>
468Elsewhere in the menu the substance is identified variously as &quot;whipped butter&quot; or, more confusingly, &quot;whipped&quot; &quot;butter&quot;.
469<BR>
470I wonder if it's &quot;fit for human consumption&quot; or &quot;likely to make me boke.&quot;
471<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Mmmmmm, pancakes!</I>
472</DL>
473</TD>
474</TR>
475
476<TR>
477<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
478<H2><TT>exhibit 9905.05</TT></H2>
479<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
480</TD>
481<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
482<BR>
483<DL>
484<DD>
485Sign at a <B>newly remodeled grocery store</B>:
486<BR>
487<TT>If you need help finding something, one of our </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>friendly</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> associates will be happy to help you.</TT>
488<BR>
489<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>I think they also need to remodel the associates.</I>
490</DL>
491</TD>
492</TR>
493
494<TR>
495<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
496<H2><TT>exhibit 9905.04</TT></H2>
497<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
498</TD>
499<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
500<BR>
501<DL>
502<DD>
503Sticker on the <B>side of a diving board</B>:
504<BR>
505<TT>Check depth before </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>you</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> dive.</TT>
506<BR>
507For divers afflicted with identity crises?
508<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>It's deep enough. No it's not. Yes it is! No it's not!</I>
509</DL>
510</TD>
511</TR>
512
513<TR>
514<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
515<H2><TT>exhibit 9905.03</TT></H2>
516<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
517</TD>
518<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
519<BR>
520<DL>
521<DD>
522My company sent <B>this email</B>:
523<BR>
524<TT>Last night we were announced as </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>The Winner</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> <TT>of the 1999 Champions Program sponsored
525by the local Women's Political Caucus.  The award's purpose is </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>Honoring Workplaces that
526Work for Women.</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>  Big thanks go to ABC department director, who did </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>all the work</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> and her staff.</TT>
527<BR>
528True email, all I changed was the name of the department to protect the &quot;innocent.&quot;
529<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>I'm sure some of the more fastidious Gallery visitors were getting ready to e-mail me to point out that quoting &quot;The Winner&quot; and &quot;Honoring Workplaces That Work for Women&quot; is acceptable.  That may be true, but it's the last sentence that warrants this exhibit's inclusion here.  I wonder what the director did while the staff was </I>really<I>	doing all the work?</I>
530</DL>
531</TD>
532</TR>
533
534<TR>
535<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
536<H2><TT>exhibit 9905.02</TT></H2>
537<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
538</TD>
539<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
540<BR>
541<DL>
542<DD>
543Seen on a <B>sign outside of a grocery store</B>:
544<BR>
545<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>fresh</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> fruit</TT>
546<BR>
547how tempting
548<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>I think I might have to impose a moratorium on donations about &quot;fresh&quot; food, as there are so many of them that they are starting to get, er, &quot;stale.&quot;</I>
549</DL>
550</TD>
551</TR>
552
553<TR>
554<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
555<H2><TT>exhibit 9905.01</TT></H2>
556<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
557</TD>
558<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
559<BR>
560<DL>
561<DD>
562I found the following quotation marks in a <B>card shop in Marylebone Station</B> in London:
563<BR>
564<TT>Only  </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>2</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> children allowed in the shop at any time.</TT>
565<BR>
566I &quot;love&quot; that one!
567<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>I understand the old woman who lives in a shoe visits there regularly.</I>
568</DL>
569</TD>
570</TR>
571
572<TR>
573<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
574<H2><TT>exhibit 9904.11</TT></H2>
575<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
576</TD>
577<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
578<BR>
579<DL>
580<DD>
581Here's one that got my stomach churning.  Seen in a <B>local grocery flyer</B> in Charlotte, NC, the bold proclamation:
582<BR>
583<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>Save Big</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> on</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>Fresh Meats</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>!!</TT>
584<BR>
585Of course, I imagine it's easy to slash prices when you're selling a rotting carcass, eh?
586<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>But not only is the meat not fresh, you're not even saving big.</I>
587</DL>
588</TD>
589</TR>
590
591<TR>
592<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
593<H2><TT>exhibit 9904.11</TT></H2>
594<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
595</TD>
596<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
597<BR>
598<DL>
599<DD>
600There was an <B>art supply store</B> near my house that had a sign on the door that read:
601<BR>
602<TT>Shoplifters </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>will be</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> prosecuted</TT>
603<BR>
604and a sign inside the store near a felt tip pen display that said:
605<BR>
606<TT>If you have </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>opened</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> it then you have </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>bought</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> it.</TT>
607
608<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>The Curator does not encourage or condone illegal activities, but you can probably figure out one way to deal with this situation.</I>
609</DL>
610</TD>
611</TR>
612
613<TR>
614<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
615<H2><TT>exhibit 9904.10</TT></H2>
616<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
617</TD>
618<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
619<BR>
620<DL>
621<DD>
622Seen outside the <B>server room at Union University</B>:
623<BR>
624<TT>PLEASE, AUTHORIZED PERSONELL </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>ONLY</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>
625<BR>
626<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Party in the server room!!</I>
627</DL>
628</TD>
629</TR>
630
631<TR>
632<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
633<H2><TT>exhibit 9904.09</TT></H2>
634<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
635</TD>
636<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
637<BR>
638<DL>
639<DD>
640There's a <B>sign at a doctor's office</B> in Saint John, NB, Canada which asks you to:
641<BR>
642<TT>Please sign </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>in.</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>
643<BR>
644So what exactly do they want me to sign?
645<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>The sign-in &quot;book,&quot; I guess.</I>
646</DL>
647</TD>
648</TR>
649
650<TR>
651<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
652<H2><TT>exhibit 9904.08</TT></H2>
653<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
654</TD>
655<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
656<BR>
657<DL>
658<DD>
659Our local grocery store has this <B>sign above the coffee machine</B>:
660<BR>
661<TT>Only </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>two</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> packets of sugar per customer, please.</TT>
662<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>So not to worry if you have a &quot;sweet&quot; tooth.</I>
663</DL>
664</TD>
665</TR>
666
667<TR>
668<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
669<H2><TT>exhibit 9904.07</TT></H2>
670<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
671</TD>
672<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
673<BR>
674<DL>
675<DD>
676On signs that cover <B>three walls of a billiard hall</B>:
677<BR>
678<TT>Good </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>Boy</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> Billiards</TT>
679<BR>
680<TT>Cafe </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>&amp;</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> Billiards</TT>
681<BR>
682<TT>Cafe </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>&amp;</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> Bar</TT>
683<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>By the time they got to the fourth wall they were out of quotation marks.</I>
684</DL>
685</TD>
686</TR>
687
688<TR>
689<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
690<H2><TT>exhibit 9904.06</TT></H2>
691<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
692</TD>
693<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
694<BR>
695<DL>
696<DD>
697A sign <B>on the door of the Philadelphia International Airport</B> reads
698<BR>
699<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>No dogs</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>
700<BR>
701<TT>Permitted in Terminal</TT>
702<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Not even &quot;seeing eye dogs?&quot;</I>
703</DL>
704</TD>
705</TR>
706
707<TR>
708<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
709<H2><TT>exhibit 9904.05</TT></H2>
710<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
711</TD>
712<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
713<BR>
714<DL>
715<DD>
716Seen on an <B>ice cream store awning</B> (also painted on their windows) in Ashland, Oregon:
717<BR>
718<TT>BJ's </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>home made</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> ice cream</TT>
719<BR>
720it tasted &quot;delicious,&quot; i'm sure. i &quot;bought some.&quot;
721<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>I'll bet they actually make it in the back room of the store.</I>
722</DL>
723</TD>
724</TR>
725
726<TR>
727<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
728<H2><TT>exhibit 9904.04</TT></H2>
729<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
730</TD>
731<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
732<BR>
733<DL>
734<DD>
735Seen on a <B>Doylestown, PA cigar shop</B>. Bonus points for the apostrophe misuse.
736<BR>
737<TT>SALE CIGAR'S</TT>
738<BR>
739<TT>19 BRAND'S</TT>
740<BR>
741<TT>BUY ONE GET ONE</TT>
742<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>FREE</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>
743<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>It's never a good sign when you see the word &quot;free&quot; in quotation marks.</I>
744</DL>
745</TD>
746</TR>
747
748<TR>
749<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
750<H2><TT>exhibit 9904.03</TT></H2>
751<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
752</TD>
753<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
754<BR>
755<DL>
756<DD>
757Sign <B>outside a restaurant</B> in Fort Meyers, Florida:
758<BR>
759<TT>The </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>Fish</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> Monger</TT>
760<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>If it had said the Fish &quot;Monger&quot; I probably would have no quarrel with it, since who the heck knows what a monger is in the first place?! (And please, don't bother e-mailing me to show off if you do know what a monger is.)</I>
761</DL>
762</TD>
763</TR>
764
765<TR>
766<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
767<H2><TT>exhibit 9904.02</TT></H2>
768<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
769</TD>
770<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
771<BR>
772<DL>
773<DD>
774<B>Sign in the produce department</B> of a grocery store:
775<BR>
776<TT>Please ring </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>bell</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> for service.</TT>
777<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>So much for this &quot;service&quot; economy I keep hearing about.</I>
778</DL>
779</TD>
780</TR>
781
782<TR>
783<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
784<H2><TT>exhibit 9904.01</TT></H2>
785<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
786</TD>
787<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
788<BR>
789<DL>
790<DD>
791There's a <B>sign in my office</B> that says:
792<BR>
793<TT>DOOR IS LOCKED!</TT>
794<BR>
795<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>PLEASE KNOCK</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>
796<BR>
797and another reading:
798<BR>
799<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>DO NOT</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>  OPEN AT ANY TIME</TT>
800<BR>
801Inviting theft, I think...
802<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Quotation marks: when capital letters just aren't enough.</I>
803</DL>
804</TD>
805</TR>
806
807<TR>
808<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
809<H2><TT>exhibit 9903.12</TT></H2>
810</TD>
811<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
812<BR>
813<DL>
814<DD>
815<I>Just about the only saving grace of the onslaught of spam is the frequent misuse of <B>quotation marks found in the messages</B>, although given the choice I'd gladly forego the junk e-mail since there is no shortage of misused quotation marks in the wild.  Here's an example from a spam message I received:</I>
816<BR>
817<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>Melissa Stone.</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>
818<BR>
819<TT>Master Psychic Reader and Advisor</TT>
820<BR>
821. . . <BR>
822<TT>Ask about love, wealth, career, fame, or other subjects that interest you. Melissa Stone</TT> <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>WILL</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> <TT>reveal all!</TT>
823<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Let's see, so her name's not really Melissa Stone and she can't predict the future.  Check and double-check.</I>
824</DL>
825</TD>
826</TR>
827
828<TR>
829<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
830<H2><TT>exhibit 9903.11</TT></H2>
831<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
832</TD>
833<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
834<BR>
835<DL>
836<DD>
837A <B>brochure for an Estee Lauder self tanning product</B> claims that:
838<BR>
839<TT>in about an hour, your skin will turn a natural, healthy looking </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>tan.</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>
840<BR>
841I think the quotes are more for legal reasons than because of a mistake on anyone's part.
842<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Besides, &quot;a natural, healthy looking 'orange'&quot; just doesn't have the same ring to it.</I>
843</DL>
844</TD>
845</TR>
846
847<TR>
848<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
849<H2><TT>exhibit 9903.10</TT></H2>
850<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
851</TD>
852<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
853<BR>
854<DL>
855<DD>
856A <B>hand-lettered sign in the window</B> of The Hofbrau on Telegraph Avenue in Oakland, CA advertises:
857<BR>
858<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>pork</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> burritos.</TT>
859<BR>
860I'm also interested in the idea that a hofbrau can serve Cali-Mex food 
860- maybe they should call it a &quot;hofbrau.&quot;
861<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>The least they could do is call them &quot;Schweinefleisch&quot; burritos.</I>
862</DL>
863</TD>
864</TR>
865
866<TR>
867<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
868<H2><TT>exhibit 9903.10</TT></H2>
869<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
870</TD>
871<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
872<BR>
873<DL>
874<DD>
875On the <B>cover of the folder</B> in which the schedules are kept at work, one of the managers wrote:
876<BR>
877<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>Switches must be approved.</TT><FONT  SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>
878<BR>
879Taking a cue from the donor of exhibit <A HREF="perm9802.html#9802.18">9802.18</A>, I changed it so it now reads:
880<BR>
881&quot;Switches must be approved.&quot;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;--Winston Churchill
882<BR>
883So far only two people have gotten the joke.
884<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>I hope you've switched with them just for good measure.</I>
885</DL>
886</TD>
887</TR>
888
889<TR>
890<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
891<H2><TT>exhibit 9903.09</TT></H2>
892<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
893</TD>
894<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
895<BR>
896<DL>
897<DD>
898Sign in <B>restaurant in Jacksboro, TN</B> lists the vegetables of the day:
899<BR>
900<TT>Corn, fried potatoes, </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>peas</TT><FONT  SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> and green beans.
901</TT>
902<BR>
903(They also list cottage cheese and macaroni and cheese as vegetables.)
904<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Clearly that list should be labeled &quot;vegetables&quot; of the day.</I>
905</DL>
906</TD>
907</TR>
908
909<TR>
910<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
911<H2><TT>exhibit 9903.08</TT></H2>
912<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
913</TD>
914<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
915<BR>
916<DL>
917<DD>
918I got this <B>&quot;auto&quot;-reply e-mail</B> from Bizrate.com:
919<BR>
920<TT>Just responding to let you know that a </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>human</TT><FONT  SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> reads each and every comment to BizRate.com!
921</TT>
922<BR>
923Great! I feel much &quot;better&quot; knowing that.
924<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Me too. Here I was thinking the e-mail was handled by some kind of robot.</I>
925</DL>
926</TD>
927</TR>
928
929<TR>
930<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
931<H2><TT>exhibit 9903.07</TT></H2>
932<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
933</TD>
934<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
935<BR>
936<DL>
937<DD>
938Seen on a <B>bowling alley lounge door</B>:
939<BR>
940<TT>No One Under Age </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>21</TT><FONT  SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> Permitted</TT>
941<BR>
942<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Whoopee, beer for everybody!</I>
943</DL>
944</TD>
945</TR>
946
947<TR>
948<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
949<H2><TT>exhibit 9903.06</TT></H2>
950<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
951</TD>
952<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
953<BR>
954<DL>
955<DD>
956I recently registered to vote in Saratoga county in New York.  When my registration was processed, <B>I received a &quot;postcard&quot;</B> with the following &quot;information:&quot;<BR>
957<TT>THIS IS TO NOTIFY YOU THAT YOUR REGISTRATION HAS BEEN RECEIVED AND APPROVED.
958<BR>
959<BR>
960AS YOU DID </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>NOT</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> ENROLL WITH A PARTY OR VOIDED YOUR ENROLLMENT, YOU WILL</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>NOT</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> BE ELIGIBLE TO VOTE AT ANY PRIMARY ELECTION OR SIGN PARTY PETITIONS.
961<BR>
962<BR>
963IF YOU HAVE A </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>VOID</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> ENROLLMENT, CALL OUR OFFICE AND WE WILL SEND YOU A FORM TO CORRECT IT.</TT>
964<BR>
965I'm confused.  Which party am I a member of, again?
966<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>I'm telling you, if I ever get all the backlogged donations on the site I'm going to open a &quot;Not&quot; wing.  That's got to be the most mis-quotation-marked word ever.</I>
967</DL>
968</TD>
969</TR>
970
971<TR>
972<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
973<H2><TT>exhibit 9903.05</TT></H2>
974<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
975</TD>
976<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
977<BR>
978<DL>
979<DD>
980A local clinic <B>advertised in the paper</B> as follows:
981<BR>
982<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>Prostate Screenings</TT><FONT  SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>
983<BR>
984I don't know what they're doing and I don't want to know.
985<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>I don't know either but I wonder if it has something to do with all those mega-plex movie theaters that are so popular these days.</I>
986</DL>
987</TD>
988</TR>
989
990<TR>
991<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
992<H2><TT>exhibit 9903.04</TT></H2>
993<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
994</TD>
995<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
996<BR>
997<DL>
998<DD>
999Saw <B>this sign in a liquor store</B> in suburban NJ years ago when I was a kid:
1000<BR>
1001<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>New House</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>For Sale</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>
1002<BR>
1003Back then I thought I was the only one who noticed the weird extra quotation marks.
1004<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Back then you</I> were <I>the only one who noticed the weird extra quotation marks.</I>
1005</DL>
1006</TD>
1007</TR>
1008
1009<TR>
1010<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
1011<H2><TT>exhibit 9903.03</TT></H2>
1012<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
1013</TD>
1014<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
1015<BR>
1016<DL>
1017<DD>
1018<B>Sign in the deli</B> in the IGA grocery store in Strathmore, Alberta, Canada reads:<BR>
1019<BR>
1020<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>SHREDDED</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><BR>
1021<TT>&nbsp;&nbsp;CHEESE&nbsp;&nbsp;</TT>
1022<BR>
1023<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Yummmm, nothing I like better than a big wheel of cheese.</I>
1024</DL>
1025</TD>
1026</TR>
1027
1028
1029<TR>
1030<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
1031<H2><TT>exhibit 9903.02</TT></H2>
1032<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
1033</TD>
1034<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
1035<BR>
1036<DL>
1037<DD>
1038<I>(I'm guessing this is<B> from an e-mail</B> received by the donor)</I>
1039<BR>
1040<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>You know who</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> isn't here today.  Do you think it's because of me?  This is the first </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>entire</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> day he's missed, since I started working here FOUR MONTHS
1041AGO!  :(</TT>
1042<BR>
1043<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Previously &quot;what's-his-name&quot; had only missed &quot;half&quot; a day.</I>
1044</DL>
1045</TD>
1046</TR>
1047
1048
1049<TR>
1050<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
1051<H2><TT>exhibit 9903.01</TT></H2>
1052</TD>
1053<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
1054<BR>
1055<DL>
1056<DD>
1057<I><B>This e-mail</B> was sent around my office:</I>
1058<BR>
1059<TT>>Date: Mon, 1 Mar 1999 12:54:20 -0500<BR>
1060>To: [email protected]<BR>
1061>Subject: If you drove here, read this...<BR>
1062><BR>
1063>Hi all,<BR>
1064><BR>
1065>Trucks carrying computers will be unloading by the Customer<BR>
1066>Service entrance shortly.<BR>
1067><BR>
1068>There is a </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>white</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> Buick Century (plate # UKW 850) that<BR>
1069>is blocking that entrance.  If that is your car please move<BR>
1070>it.</TT>
1071<BR>
1072<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Maybe the owner drove through a lot of mud puddles on the way in that morning.</I>
1073</DL>
1074</TD>
1075</TR>
1076
1077<TR>
1078<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
1079<H2><TT>exhibit 9902.05</TT></H2>
1080<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
1081</TD>
1082<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
1083<BR>
1084<DL>
1085<DD>
1086In our <B>faculty newsletter</B>, captioning a picture of a lecturer with his blushing bride:
1087<BR>
1088<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>Wedded Bliss,</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>
1088 Nicholas and Rachel</TT>
1089<BR>
1090I wonder how long before Rachel has an &quot;affair.&quot;
1091<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Sounds like a newsletter reporter tagged along on the honeymoon</I>
1092</DL>
1093</TD>
1094</TR>
1095
1096<TR>
1097<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
1098<H2><TT>exhibit 9902.04</TT></H2>
1099<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
1100</TD>
1101<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
1102<BR>
1103<DL>
1104<DD>
1105A <B>banner over the entrance</B> of a new condominium complex in Toronto:<BR>
1106<TT>9 </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>Spectacular</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> Suites Still Remaining!</TT>
1107<BR>
1108If they present that much of a &quot;spectacle,&quot; I'm not surprised.
1109<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>If they were spectacular instead of &quot;spectacular&quot; they'd have been snapped up months ago.</I>
1110</DL>
1111</TD>
1112</TR>
1113
1114<TR>
1115<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
1116<H2><TT>exhibit 9902.03</TT></H2>
1117<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
1118</TD>
1119<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
1120<BR>
1121<DL>
1122<DD>
1123On the <B>&quot;back&quot; of my Rachmaninoff</B> &quot;3rd&quot; Concerto CD:
1124<BR>
1125<TT>Recorded </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>live</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> at the Tivoli Concert Hall, Copenhagen, November 2nd, 1995.</TT>
1126<BR>
1127What's funny is this particular &quot;recording&quot; of the 3rd has particular emotional &quot;significance&quot; to me.
1128<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>I don't see what the connection is between the misused quotation marks around the word &quot;live&quot; and the emotional significance, funny or otherwise, of that recording but let me just assure you that I &quot;care&quot; deeply.</I>
1129</DL>
1130</TD>
1131</TR>
1132
1133<TR>
1134<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
1135<H2><TT>exhibit 9902.03</TT></H2>
1136<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
1137</TD>
1138<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
1139<BR>
1140<DL>
1141<DD>
1142A <B>sign near a hotel</B> in Regina, Saskatchewan:
1143<BR>
1144<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>Watch</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> for pedestrians</TT>
1145<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>As long as you </I>look<I> like you're watching that'll do.</I>
1146</DL>
1147</TD>
1148</TR>
1149
1150<TR>
1151<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
1152<H2><TT>exhibit 9902.02</TT></H2>
1153<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
1154</TD>
1155<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
1156<BR>
1157<DL>
1158<DD>
1159Saw this <B>sign nailed to a fence</B> on a country road in Southern Louisiana:
1160<BR>
1161<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>OAK</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><BR>
1162<TT>FIREWOOD</TT><BR>
1163<TT>FOR SALE</TT><BR>
1164<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>It's probably that cheap oak veneer firewood.</I>
1165</DL>
1166</TD>
1167</TR>
1168
1169<TR>
1170<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
1171<H2><TT>exhibit 9902.01</TT></H2>
1172<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
1173</TD>
1174<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
1175<BR>
1176<DL>
1177<DD>
1178<B>Hand lettered sign</B> at a local restaurant:
1179<BR>
1180<TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>Sorry</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT></TT>
1181<BR>
1182<TT>No Discounts on Specials</TT>
1183<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Sure, they're &quot;sorry&quot; all the way to the bank.</I>
1184</DL>
1185</TD>
1186</TR>
1187
1188<TR>
1189<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
1190<H2><TT>exhibit 9901.10</TT></H2>
1191<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
1192</TD>
1193<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
1194<BR>
1195<DL>
1196<DD>
1197Every <B>greeting card that I receive</B> from my Aunt Joan and Uncle Bruce is addressed to <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>John</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> and signed, <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>Aunt Joan &amp; Uncle Bruce.</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>  What do they think my real name is?  And who are the cards really from?
1198<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Somehow I doubt that this serial misuse of quotation marks by well-meaning older relatives will be eliminated in my lifetime.</I>
1199</DL>
1200</TD>
1201</TR>
1202
1203<TR>
1204<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
1205<H2><TT>exhibit 9901.09</TT></H2>
1206<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
1207</TD>
1208<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
1209<BR>
1210<DL>
1211<DD>
1212On the <B>wall of San Juan Bautista mission</B>, just south of Gilroy, California:
1213<BR>
1214<TT>San Juan Bautista Mission is <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>not</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> financially supported by the state of California.</TT>
1215<BR>
1216My quotation of the sign is not verbatim -- send out an all-points bulletin to bring in the exact wording.
1217<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Anyone else been to the San Juan Bautista mission lately?</I>
1218</DL>
1219</TD>
1220</TR>
1221
1222<TR>
1223<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
1224<H2><TT>exhibit 9901.08</TT></H2>
1225<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
1226</TD>
1227<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
1228<BR>
1229<DL>
1230<DD>
1231A <B>flyer for a snow removal company</B> included this promise:
1232<BR>
1233<TT>Enrollment now will ensure your </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>automatic snow removal.</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>
1234<BR>
1235<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>
1235Their service will come in handy on those days when the weatherman predicts &quot;flurries.&quot;</I>
1236</DL>
1237</TD>
1238</TR>
1239
1240<TR>
1241<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
1242<H2><TT>exhibit 9901.07</TT></H2>
1243<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
1244</TD>
1245<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
1246<BR>
1247<DL>
1248<DD>
1249Off a <B>packet of English crisps</B> (potato chips to you):
1250<BR>
1251<TT>Seabrooks <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>crinkle cut</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> crisps - they're <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>more</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> than a <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>snack</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>!</TT>
1252<BR>
1253<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>I wonder if that exciting copy is helping their &quot;sales&quot;?</I>
1254</DL>
1255</TD>
1256</TR>
1257
1258<TR>
1259<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
1260<H2><TT>exhibit 9901.06</TT></H2>
1261<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
1262</TD>
1263<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
1264<BR>
1265<DL>
1266<DD>
1267My first year law school class has produced a <B>class t-shirt</B> with the following slogan printed on the back:
1268<BR>
1269<TT>Maintaining  </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>Honor &amp; Integrity</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> in the Legal Profession.</TT>
1270<BR>
1271Arrgh! Needless to say, I did not buy one.
1272<BR>
1273<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>[Insert your own favorite lawyer joke here.]</I>
1274</DL>
1275</TD>
1276</TR>
1277
1278<TR>
1279<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
1280<H2><TT>exhibit 9901.05</TT></H2>
1281<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
1282</TD>
1283<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
1284<BR>
1285<DL>
1286<DD>
1287Hockey great Bernie &quot;Boom Boom&quot; Geoffrion <B>signs his name</B> thusly:
1288<BR>
1289<TT>Boom </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>Boom</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> Geoffrion</TT>
1290<BR>
1291<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>It's true, <A HREF="http://www.joyofhockey.com/BoomBoomGeoffrion.html" TARGET="_new">see for yourself!</A> I guess he's getting on in years and losing some of his &quot;boom.&quot;</I>
1292</DL>
1293</TD>
1294</TR>
1295
1296<TR>
1297<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
1298<H2><TT>exhibit 9901.04</TT></H2>
1299<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
1300</TD>
1301<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
1302<BR>
1303<DL>
1304<DD>
1305From the <B>Editor's letter</B> in the January 1999 issue of NTexplorer magazine:
1306<BR>
1307<TT>We had a massive response to last months [sic] prize offering of Windows NT
1308Terminal Server - the </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>lucky</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> readers who will each receive a copy are...</TT>
1309<BR>
1310<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Perhaps the editor was making an &quot;unwitting&quot; editorial comment.</I>
1311</DL>
1312</TD>
1313</TR>
1314
1315<TR>
1316<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
1317<H2><TT>exhibit 9901.03</TT></H2>
1318<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
1319</TD>
1320<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
1321<BR>
1322<DL>
1323<DD>
1324&quot;Help!&quot; <B>This web page</B> has an amusing &quot;proliferation&quot; of unecessary
1325quote marks: <A HREF="http://www.unicure.com/about.htm" TARGET="_new">http://www.unicure.com/about.htm</A>.  For example:
1326<BR>
1327<TT>The product worked ... One treatment was enough ..... </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>Instant Results</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>
1328<BR>
1329<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Hoo-boy!  This whole site is a &quot;goldmine&quot; of misused quotation marks and then some.  Don't miss the <A HREF="http://www.unicure.com/helpful_hints_for_men.htm">Helpful Hints For Men</A>!</I>
1330</DL>
1331</TD>
1332</TR>
1333
1334<TR>
1335<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
1336<H2><TT>exhibit 9901.02</TT></H2>
1337<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
1338</TD>
1339<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
1340<BR>
1341<DL>
1342<DD>
1343From Birmingham, England: In a pub, advertising its <B>annual Christmas lottery</B>:
1344<TT>Yes it's here </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>AGAIN!</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>
1345<BR>
1346So Christmas comes but once a century?
1347<BR>
1348<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Or maybe it's not really here.</I>
1349</DL>
1350</TD>
1351</TR>
1352
1353<TR>
1354<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
1355<H2><TT>exhibit 9901.01</TT></H2>
1356<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
1357</TD>
1358<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
1359<BR>
1360<DL>
1361<DD>
1362Seen on the back of a <B>sample of Kellogg's<SUP><FONT SIZE="-1">TM</FONT></SUP> Smart Start<SUP>&reg;
1362</SUP></B> cereal:
1363<BR>
1364<TT>Official </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>Cereal</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>of the New York City Marathon 1998!</TT>
1365<BR>
1366How do you classify &quot;cereal&quot; in a weight-watchers program? 2 1/2 &quot;carbohydrates&quot;??
1367<BR>
1368<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>I can think of a lot of other cereals that are more deserving of being called &quot;cereal.&quot; Shredded Wheat, for example.</I>
1369</DL>
1370</TD>
1371</TR>
1372
1373<TR>
1374<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
1375<H2><TT>exhibit 9812.09</TT></H2>
1376<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
1377</TD>
1378<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
1379<BR>
1380<DL>
1381<DD>
1382At the church I &quot;attend&quot; a <B>recent bulletin</B> announced:<BR>
1383<TT>post-service </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>prime rib</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> dinner, followed by a concert!</TT>
1384<BR>
1385Makes me wonder what they were really feeding those people...
1386<BR>
1387<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Sub-prime flank steak, I guess.</I>
1388</DL>
1389</TD>
1390</TR>
1391
1392<TR>
1393<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
1394<H2><TT>exhibit 9812.08</TT></H2>
1395<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
1396</TD>
1397<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
1398<BR>
1399<DL>
1400<DD>
1401A <B>sign on a water cooler</B> in my office reads:<BR>
1402<TT>This is </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>NOT</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> a drain!</TT>
1403<BR>
1404<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>So don't &quot;pour&quot; anything into it!</I>
1405</DL>
1406</TD>
1407</TR>
1408
1409<TR>
1410<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
1411<H2><TT>exhibit 9812.07</TT></H2>
1412<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
1413</TD>
1414<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
1415<BR>
1416<DL>
1417<DD>
1418This also a yahoo cool link, mind you! i found it at <B>www.3dom.com/worry.htm</B>. <I>[Curator's note: this site now seems to be defunct.]</I> It reads (and i quote):<BR>
1419<BR>
1420<TT>Please be aware that </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>thoughts</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> of suicide are quite common and normal, one can hardly choose to live without the option of dying. </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>Thoughts</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> that someone else should drop dead (and you should help them) are also common and not a cause for undue worry.</TT>
1421<BR>
1422<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Did I &quot;say&quot; that or just &quot;think&quot; it?</I>
1423</DL>
1424</TD>
1425</TR>
1426
1427<TR>
1428<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
1429<H2><TT>exhibit 9812.06</TT></H2>
1430<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
1431</TD>
1432<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
1433<BR>
1434<DL>
1435<DD>
1436A <B>sign at a restaurant</B> in Novi, MI:<BR>
1437<BR>
1438<TT>Have Breakfast with </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>Santa</TT>.<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>
1439<BR>
1440<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Geez, way to tip off the kiddies about the whole Santa thing.</I>
1441</DL>
1442</TD>
1443</TR>
1444
1445<TR>
1446<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
1447<H2><TT>exhibit 9812.05</TT></H2>
1448</TD>
1449<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
1450<BR>
1451<DL>
1452<DD>
1453<I>Someone where I work sent out this <B>update on food and office services</B></I>:
1454<BR><BR>
1455<TT>Hopefully the capaccino [sic] machine will be available Friday Dec 11th approximate cost is $.50 per 
1455cup. Also we should have several copies of the morning paper available. <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>Ice Cream</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> service is available today. Watch those calories.</TT>
1456<BR>
1457<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Yeah, you don't want to get &quot;fat.&quot;</I>
1458</DL>
1459</TD>
1460</TR>
1461
1462<TR>
1463<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
1464<H2><TT>exhibit 9812.04</TT></H2>
1465<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
1466</TD>
1467<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
1468<BR>
1469<DL>
1470<DD>
1471A few weeks ago, I noticed <B>a sign posted in my dorm</B>:<BR>
1472<BR>
1473<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>Flu Shot</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><BR>
1474<TT>If any of you are not already on the list and would like to be protected from the </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>flu</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> this year, please </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>sign up.</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>
1475<BR>
1476I couldn't help but wonder what the shot was really for, and how to get it.
1477<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>I'd be even more nervous if it said the injection would be administered to your &quot;arm.&quot;</I>
1478</DL>
1479</TD>
1480</TR>
1481
1482<TR>
1483<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
1484<H2><TT>exhibit 9812.03</TT></H2>
1485<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
1486</TD>
1487<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
1488<BR>
1489<DL>
1490<DD>
1491This is from <B>an adoption website</B>. This poor girl might be waiting a while:<BR>
1492<BR>
1493<TT>Jenny is of small stature for her age. She has a friendly smile, and is very expressive. She is
1494an </TT> <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>adorable</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> child. Jenny is very friendly and outgoing. She enjoys being with people.</TT>
1495<BR>
1496<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Sounds like a blind date I once had.</I>
1497</DL>
1498</TD>
1499</TR>
1500
1501<TR>
1502<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
1503<H2><TT>exhibit 9812.02</TT></H2>
1504<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
1505</TD>
1506<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
1507<BR>
1508<DL>
1509<DD>
1510Our <B>local pub in McKeesport, PA</B> (outside Pittsburgh) has some unusual &quot;offerings&quot; as well as some misused quotations, such as:<BR>
1511<BR>
1512<TT>Fish Sandwich </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>Haddock</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>; </TT>
1513<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>Polish Style</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> Halushki; </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>Ho-Baked Rolls and Bread</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> for sale.</TT>
1514<BR>
1515We're not sure what's really &quot;cookin'&quot; back there, but we're always certain to skip the &quot;special sauce&quot;.
1516<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Good idea, especially when it comes to those &quot;Ho-Baked Rolls.&quot;</I>
1517</DL>
1518</TD>
1519</TR>
1520
1521<TR>
1522<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
1523<H2><TT>exhibit 9812.01</TT></H2>
1524<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
1525</TD>
1526<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
1527<BR>
1528<DL>
1529<DD>
1530A sign in <B>the deli I used to work in</B> read:<BR>
1531<BR>
1532<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>Hot</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>  <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>Italian</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>
1533<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>Sausage</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>
1534<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Cold German Hot Dogs! My favorite!</I>
1535</DL>
1536</TD>
1537</TR>
1538<TR>
1539<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
1540<H2><TT>exhibit 9811.04</TT></H2>
1541<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
1542</TD>
1543<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
1544<BR>
1545<DL>
1546<DD>
1547Sign <B>on office door</B> at Superstore in Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada:<BR>
1548<BR>
1549<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>Manager's Office</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>
1550<BR>
1551This is the place where &quot;important&quot; &quot;decisions&quot; are made
1552<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Like whether to put quotation marks on the signs.</I>
1553</DL>
1554</TD>
1555</TR>
1556
1557<TR>
1558<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
1559<H2><TT>exhibit 9811.03</TT></H2>
1560<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
1561</TD>
1562<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
1563<BR>
1564<DL>
1565<DD>
1566At a <B>University in my city</B> the following sign was posted on an outside wall:<BR>
1567<BR>
1568<TT>Shuttle bus </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>stop</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> around the corner.</TT>
1569<BR>
1570I braced myself as the bus approached, assuming that it would slow down just enough for us to run alongside and scramble in.
1571<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Good thinking!</I>
1572</DL>
1573</TD>
1574</TR>
1575
1576<TR>
1577<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
1578<H2><TT>exhibit 9811.02</TT></H2>
1579<I>We have received this generous <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>Donation<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT> from a recent visitor</I>
1580</TD>
1581<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
1582<BR>
1583<DL>
1584<DD>
1585I'm a programmer researching some issues.  This was <B>in my inbox</B>:<BR>
1586<BR>
1587<TT>The RMA issue may be explainable but we do need someone to check and </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>explain</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> why.</TT>
1588<BR>
1589I guess I won't have to do any &quot;research&quot; to answer...
1590<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>Nope, all you need is a &quot;shovel!&quot;</I>
1591</DL>
1592</TD>
1593</TR>
1594<TR>
1595<TD WIDTH="25%" ALIGN="RIGHT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#CCCCCC">
1596<H2><TT>exhibit 9811.01</TT></H2>
1597</TD>
1598<TD WIDTH="75%" ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BACKGROUND="images/qmarks2.gif">
1599<BR>
1600<DL>
1601<DD>
1602<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>The company I work for is moving in a few weeks, so everyone's packing up their stuff.  In an effort to be helpful, one of the administrative staff sent out <B>this e-mail</B></I>:<BR>
1603<TT>We have bubble wrap. If anyone needs it, it </TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT>should be</TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT><TT> at the front desk</TT>
1604<BR>
1605<P ALIGN="RIGHT"><I>That should make it &quot;easy&quot; for everyone to finish packing.</I>
1606</DL>
1607</TD>
1608</TR>
1609</TABLE>
1609
1610<HR>
1611<P ALIGN="CENTER">Looking for Exhibits 9806.01 through 9810.10, and the rest of the Gallery? Visit the <A HREF="perm.html">Permanent &quot;Collection.&quot;</A>
1612
1613<!--
1614<A NAME="submit"></A><P ALIGN="CENTER"><!-- BEGIN DUMBLINKEXCHANGE CODE
1615           <a href="http://www.dumblists.com">
1616           <img width=460 height=55 border=1
1617           alt="DumbLinkExchange"
1618           src="http://www.dumblists.com/dumb2.gif"></a>
1619           <br>
1620           <font size=1>Dumb Link Exchange &quot;Member&quot;</font><br>
1621 <!-- END DUMBLINKEXCHANGE CODE -->
1622<!--
1623<H3 ALIGN="CENTER">Donate to the Gallery!</H3>
1624<P ALIGN="CENTER">Please <A HREF="donate.html">submit</A> your favorite examples of  &quot;misused&quot; quotation marks to me and I'll add them to the <A HREF="index.html#current">Current Exhibits</A>.  Kindly allow several days, weeks or months for your donation to be <FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT>processed.<FONT SIZE="+1"><B>&quot;</B></FONT></P>
1625<BR>
1626<BR>
1627<A NAME="nmform"></A>
1628<BR>
1629<BR>
1630<BR>
1631<BR>
1632<CENTER><FORM METHOD="GET" ACTION="http://www.netmind.com/cgi-bin/uncgi/url-mind">
1633Get an automatic e-mail notification when this site is updated!
1634<BR>
1635Enter your e-mail address and click on the button below:<BR>
1636<INPUT TYPE=TEXT SIZE=40 NAME="required-email"><BR>
1637<INPUT TYPE=HIDDEN VALUE="http://www.juvalamu.com/qmarks/" NAME="url">
1638<input type=hidden name=note value="Thanks for registering the Gallery of Misused Quotation Marks.">
1639<INPUT TYPE=SUBMIT VALUE=" Press Here to Register ">
1640</FORM>
1641
1642</CENTER>
1643 -->
1644<P ALIGN="CENTER">Back to the <A HREF="#top">top</A> of this page.</P>
1645<P ALIGN="CENTER"> <A HREF="http://www.juvalamu.com/"><IMG SRC="../images/s-juvalamu.gif" ALT="[juvalamu.com]" BORDER="0" WIDTH="197" HEIGHT="31"></A></P>
1646<HR WIDTH="75%">
1647<CENTER>Last updated on July 28, 2000</CENTER>
1648<CENTER><SMALL><I>(Because I knew you'd been waiting!)</I></SMALL></CENTER>
1649<BR>
1650<ADDRESS>Questions, comments, brickbats, slings, arrows, etc. may be directed to the <A HREF="mailto:qmarks at juvalamu dot com">curator</A>.</ADDRESS>
1651</BODY>
1652</HTML>
1653

Line numbers count LF bytes from the start of the resource, as the search results do. Vendor segments are library code the classifier recognised; they are stored but not indexed. Bytes are shown as Latin1 characters, one per byte.