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266</div> </div> 267 </div> 268 </div> 269 270 <div class="ablock-footer"><div><div></div></div></div> 271</div> 272<!-- END WIDGET 3635 --><!-- START WIDGET 3714 --> 273<div class=" ablock a-widget wid-3714 no-title"> 274 275 276 <div class="ablock-content"> 277 <div> 278 <div> 279 280<div class=""> 281 <meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=.6, user-scalable=no"></div> </div> 282 </div> 283 </div> 284 285 <div class="ablock-footer"><div><div></div></div></div> 286</div> 287<!-- END WIDGET 3714 --><!-- START WIDGET 3820 --> 288<div class=" ablock a-widget wid-3820 no-title"> 289 290 291 <div class="ablock-content"> 292 <div> 293 <div> 294 295<div class=""> 296 <link href="//cdnjs.cloudflare.com/ajax/libs/font-awesome/4.2.0/css/font-awesome.min.css" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" data-noprefix></div> </div> 297 </div> 298 </div> 299 300 <div class="ablock-footer"><div><div></div></div></div> 301</div> 302<!-- END WIDGET 3820 --> </div> 303 </div> 304 </div> 305 306 <div class="ablock-footer"><div><div></div></div></div> 307</div> 308<!-- END BLOCK 2004 --><!-- START WIDGET 2992 --> 309<div class=" ablock a-widget wid-2992 no-title"> 310 311 312 <div class="ablock-content"> 313 <div> 314 <div> 315 316<div class=""> 317 <main class="enBack"> 318 <section class="enWrap"> 319 320 <section class="enTopText"> 321 <h1> 322 A Whole New Way to 323 <span class="enTyping" 324 data-period="2000" 325 data-rotate='[ "Break In.", "Get Signed.", "Find a Buyer", "Get Noticed" ]'> 326 </span> 327 </h1> 328 329 <h3> 330 Spec Scout's screenplay coverage isn't just for pro material -- we think <em>every</em> script should be evaluated by the same criteria and rating system. For just $395 you get detailed analysis from three independent readers, plus a shot at the bigs. Want us to cover yours? 331 </h3> 332 333 </section> 334 <!-- end typing--> 335 336 <!--start slide button--> 337 <div class="enBtnWrap"> 338 <input type="submit" value="Submit My Script" class="enBtn"/> 339 <div class="enBtnOverlay"></div> 340 </div> <!-- end sliding button --> 341 342 <!-- start form modal --> 343 <div class="enFormLeft"></div> 344 <div class="enFormRight"></div> 345 <div class="enFormModal"> 346 <div class="enFormContent"> 347 <h1>Submission Form</h1> 348 <h2 class="text-center"> 349 Submit to receive your <abbr title="7-10 pages of feedback and analysis from 3 readers, along with multiple loglines, a full synopsis and other extras">coverage</abbr> and potentially <abbr title="Writers a score of 70+ are offered free inclusion in our indusry pro login"> earn a spot </abbr>in our Coverage Library. 350 </h2> 351 <form method="post" action="/submissionpayment" enctype="multipart/form-data" name="ddForm" id="ddForm" > 352 <label for="ddName">My Name</label> 353 <input type="text" name="ddName" id="ddName" required> 354 355 <label for="ddEmail">My Email</label> 356 <input type="text" name="ddEmail" id="ddEmail" required> 357 358 <label for="">Upload My Script</label> 359 360 <label for="ddUpload" class="enFormUploadLABEL"> 361 <span id="enFormUploadFilename"> </span> 362 Browse 363 <input type="file" id="ddUpload" name="ddUpload" class="enFormUploadInput" required> 364 </label> 365 366 <label> 367 <input type="checkbox" value="" name="" required > I agree to the <a href="/submission-agreement" target="_blank" >submission agreement</a> 368 </label> 369 370 <button type="submit" id="" class="enFormBtn btn btn-block btn-default">Submit</button> 371 372 </form> 373 </div> 374 </div> 375 376 <div class="enFormOverlay"></div> 377 378 </section> 379</main></div> </div> 380 </div> 381 </div> 382 383 <div class="ablock-footer"><div><div></div></div></div> 384</div> 385<!-- END WIDGET 2992 --></div></div></section><section class=" ahh_i7 ahh_grid_row"><div class="ahh_i2 ahh_grid_col"> <div class=" ap ap_1233"><!-- START WIDGET 3389 --> 386<div class=" ablock a-widget wid-3389 no-title"> 387 388 389 <div class="ablock-content"> 390 <div> 391 <div> 392 393<div class=""> 394 <!--http://codepen.io/Lorti/pen/mHFxj--> 395<a name="reasonsToSubmit"></a> 396 397<link href="//fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Oswald:700" rel="stylesheet" data-noprefix> 398 399<section class="sqBack"> 400 <div class="sqWrap" >
401 <span class="sqContent"> 402 Top <strong>10</strong> 403 </span> 404 <span class="sqFront"></span> 405 <span class="sqBehind"></span> 406 </div> 407 408 <div class="sqSide"> 409 <h1>Reasons to use</h1> 410 <h1>Spec Scout</h1> 411 </div> 412</section></div> </div> 413 </div> 414 </div> 415 416 <div class="ablock-footer"><div><div></div></div></div> 417</div> 418<!-- END WIDGET 3389 --><!-- START WIDGET 3162 --> 419<div class=" ablock a-widget wid-3162 no-title"> 420 421 422 <div class="ablock-content"> 423 <div> 424 <div> 425 426<div class=""> 427 <section class="mzWrap"> 428 429 <ul class="mzUL"> 430 <li class="mzLI mzLI1"> 431 <h4> Get Your Script Ready for Market</h4> 432 <div class="mzDescription"> 433 We use the same scoring system for spec market scripts and aspiring writersâ material, so our coverage is an apples-to-apples comparison between your script and those being taken to market by agents and managers. Think of it as a dress rehearsal for your screenplay. 434 </div> 435 <div class="nbr">1</div> 436 </li> 437 438 <li class="mzLI mzLI2"> 439 <h4>Score Above 70 and Host for Free</h4> 440 <div class="mzDescription"> 441 If your submission scores 70 or higher, you'll be offered a profile on the site where you can track how often your material has been downloaded by industry pros and upload as many additional screenplays as you like. For free. Forever. 442 </div> 443 <div class="nbr">2</div> 444 </li> 445 <li class="mzLI mzLI3"> 446 <h4>Our Subscribers Are Pros</h4> 447 <div class="mzDescription"> 448 Access to our coverage library is free but limited to agents, managers, producers, directors and development executives (plus assistants to all of the above). Our 1,000+ industry pro subscribers span every major studio, mini-major, production company, agency and management company in the business, plus hundreds of directors and independent producers. 449 </div> 450 <div class="nbr">3</div> 451 </li> 452 <li class="mzLI mzLI4"> 453 <h4>We Actively Promote You</h4> 454 <div class="mzDescription"> 455 Recommendations from trusted sources are the key to attracting the eye of an agent or manager. In addition to providing discovery tools within the site itself, Spec Scout actively promotes our Scouted writers, including a free listing on Slated, a community of producers and film investors. 456 </div> 457 <div class="nbr">4</div> 458 </li> 459 <li class="mzLI mzLI5"> 460 <h4> Our Readers Rock</h4> 461 <div class="mzDescription"> 462 Every Spec Scout reader has reviewed countless market specs through previous development experience at agencies, management companies, and production companies before working with us. They've also undergone extensive training to ensure every project is assessed uniformly. 463 </div> 464 <div class="nbr">5</div> 465 </li> 466 <li class="mzLI mzLI6"> 467 <h4>Get a Gameplan for the Next Draft</h4> 468 <div class="mzDescription"> 469 Spec Scoutâs coverage is unique in that each script is reviewed by three separate readers, each of whom uses the same rigorous rubric to analyze 11 elements of the screenplay. Our clients love this approach â when 2 or 3 people independently cite similar issues, you will know exactly what to work on in your next draft. 470 </div> 471 <div class="nbr">6</div> 472 </li> 473 <li class="mzLI mzLI7"> 474 <h4>99% Satisfaction Rate</h4> 475 <div class="mzDescription"> 476 Weâre very proud of our 99% customer satisfaction rate - nearly every single one of our over 750 writer clients has been pleased by our service, and over a third have returned to submit additional scripts for coverage. But donât take our word for it - <a href="/home/#writerEndorsements"> hereâs what our clients have told us</a>. 477 </div> 478 <div class="nbr">7</div> 479 </li> 480 481 <li class="mzLI mzLI8"> 482 <h4>Get Discovered</h4> 483 <div class="mzDescription"> 484 Our Industry Pro subscribers use the site daily to search for new voices and available material. Our Scouted writers' material is included alongside the market specs in subscribers' search results. Scripts with the highest scores show up first regardless of whether they were sent out by an agent or qualified through our coverage service. 485 </div> 486 <div class="nbr">8</div> 487 </li> 488 489 <li class="mzLI mzLI9"> 490 <h4>Fast Turn-Around</h4> 491 <div class="mzDescription"> 492 Submit today and we'll have your coverage ready between <span id="elMonthly"></span> and <span id="elFiveWeeks"></span>. 493 494 Rush service is also available, which guarantees your feedback will be delivered by <span id="elWeekly"></span>. 495 496 497 </div> 498 <div class="nbr">9</div> 499 </li> 500 501 <li class="mzLI mzLI10"> 502 <h4>World's Best Coverage</h4> 503 <div class="mzDescription">
504 Our <a data-toggle="modal" href="#tallModal" >coverage</a> is based squarely on the most <a href="score/#howTheScoreWorks">basic principles of feature screenwriting mechanics</a>, and our readers defend their opinions in 7-10 pages of feedback, citing specific examples from the text with page numbers. You'll also get a synopsis and 3 distinct loglines. Check out a Coverage Sample . 505 </div> 506 <div class="nbr">10</div> 507 </li> 508 509 </ul> 510</section> 511 512<br><br></div> </div> 513 </div> 514 </div> 515 516 <div class="ablock-footer"><div><div></div></div></div> 517</div> 518<!-- END WIDGET 3162 --><!-- START WIDGET 3348 --> 519<div class=" ablock a-widget wid-3348 no-title"> 520 521 522 <div class="ablock-content"> 523 <div> 524 <div> 525 526<div class=""> 527 <!--http://codepen.io/yellapuhari/pen/jtfAm--> 528 529<a name="faq"></a> 530 531<section class="qaRel"> 532 <div class="qaWrap"> 533 <h1 class="qaH1">Questions Answers</h1> 534 <h2 class="qaH2">Q + A</h2> 535 </div> 536</section></div> </div> 537 </div> 538 </div> 539 540 <div class="ablock-footer"><div><div></div></div></div> 541</div> 542<!-- END WIDGET 3348 --><!-- START WIDGET 2995 --> 543<div class=" ablock a-widget wid-2995 no-title"> 544 545 546 <div class="ablock-content"> 547 <div> 548 <div> 549 550<div class=""> 551 <!--http://codepen.io/pedroo/pen/KtzEL--> 552 553<main class="seBack"> 554 <!--<h3>OUR COVERAGE & LISTING PROCESS </h3> --> 555 556 <div> 557 <input type="checkbox" id="question1" name="q" class="seINPUT"> 558 <div class="sePlus">+</div> 559 <label for="question1" class="seLABEL"> 560 Who will be reading my screenplay? 561 </label> 562 <div class="seAnswer"> 563 <p>Our evaluation team is comprised of seasoned readers, each of whom has experience reviewing produced and unproduced scripts at agencies, management companies, development departments, and in other professional environments. Each reader is well versed in recent market material and has undergone a thorough feature analysis training program, so you can be sure that the same standards used to judge market material will be used in assessing your script. </p> 564 565 </div> 566 </div> 567 568 <div> 569 <input type="checkbox" id="question2" name="q" class="seINPUT"> 570 <div class="sePlus">+</div> 571 <label for="question2" class="seLABEL"> 572 How long does an evaluation take? 573 </label> 574 <div class="seAnswer"> 575 <p>Our regular service takes approximately one month. One week rush service is available for an additional $100 fee. </p> 576 577 </div> 578 </div> 579 580 <div> 581 <input type="checkbox" id="question3" name="q" class="seINPUT"> 582 <div class="sePlus">+</div> 583 <label for="question3" class="seLABEL"> 584 What happens if my script scores above 70? 585 </label> 586 <div class="seAnswer"> 587 <p> If your screenplay scores above 70 points, congratulations! Your script holds up brilliantly when compared to the screenplays circulated by the best literary agents and managers. When you receive your coverage, it will be accompanied with our offer to be included in our coverage library alongside the spec market material we've been tracking for the past several years.<br><br>If you accept, you'll not only get to include a short profile of yourself so our subscribers know how to contact you, you'll also be able to upload your other features. For free. Forever. You're welcome. </p> 588 589 </div> 590 591 <div> 592 <input type="checkbox" id="question4" name="q" class="seINPUT"> 593 <div class="sePlus">+</div> 594 <label for="question4" class="seLABEL"> 595 What happens if my script scores below 70? 596 </label> 597 <div class="seAnswer"> 598 <p> If your script scores below 70, your coverage remains confidential and your script will not be shared on the site. We'll also offer you a coupon code for discounts on future revisions of that script. </p> 599 600 </div> 601 602 </div> 603 604 <div> 605 <input type="checkbox" id="question5" name="q" class="seINPUT"> 606 <div class="sePlus">+</div> 607 <label for="question5" class="seLABEL"> 608 Who has access to the Coverage Library? 609 </label> 610 <div class="seAnswer"> 611 <p>Access to our coverage library is free but limited to working agents and managers, credited directors and producers, development and production executives, and assistants to all of the above. Our subscriber base currently includes thousands of industry pros at companies including CAA, APA, WME, UTA, ICM, Gersh, Paradigm, Verve, Mosaic, Benderspink, Oasis, Original Artists, Energy Entertainment, Station 3, The Arlook Group, Echo Lake, Amazon Studios, Fox, Bold Films, Bold House, Chernin, Davis Entertainment, Dreamworks, Pixar, The Walt Disney Company, QED, Universal, Vertigo, Bad Hat Harry, Relativity, EndGame, Disruption, Kopelson, Langley Park, MGM,
611Castlerock, Virgin Produced, Level 1 Entertainment, Ineffable Pictures, 20th Centrury Fox, FX, Milennium, and New Line Cinema, to name a few. </p> 612 613 </div> 614 </div> 615 616 617 <div> 618 <input type="checkbox" id="question6" name="q" class="seINPUT"> 619 <div class="sePlus">+</div> 620 <label for="question6" class="seLABEL"> 621 What if I don't agree with your assessment? 622 </label> 623 <div class="seAnswer"> 624 <p>There's no getting around the fact that story analysis is inherently subjective. We designed our process to be as objective as possible by applying the same set of rigorous standards to every script, based on the criteria that buyers and reps use to judge material. <br><br>Whether the coverage lauds your masterpiece or encourages your growth, the points made will reference tried-and-true storytelling principles and cite specific examples (with page numbers) from your work. </p> 625 626 </div> 627 </div> 628 629 </div> 630 631</main></div> </div> 632 </div> 633 </div> 634 635 <div class="ablock-footer"><div><div></div></div></div> 636</div> 637<!-- END WIDGET 2995 --><!-- START WIDGET 3494 --> 638<div class=" ablock a-widget wid-3494 no-title"> 639 640 641 <div class="ablock-content"> 642 <div> 643 <div> 644 645<div class=""> 646 <!--http://codepen.io/junrillg/pen/xJtyf--> 647 648<a name="pricing"></a> 649<section class="vzWorld"> 650 <section class="vzBack"> 651 652 <div class="vzWrap"> 653 <div class="vzHead"> 654 <h1>Spec Scout Submission</h1> 655 <h1>$395.00</h1> 656 <div class="vzIconBox"> 657 <main class="aacBack"> 658 <!-- four layers of paper each with 3 psuedo element pages --> 659 <section class="aac aac0"> 660 <section class="aac aac1"> 661 <section class="aac aac2"> 662 <section class="aac aac3"> 663 <!-- top brass bracket --> 664 <a class="aacBracket aacTop"><span></span> </a> 665 <!-- dark hole --> 666 <div class="aacHole"></div> 667 <!--bottom bracket --> 668 <a class="aacBracket aacBtm"><span></span> </a> 669 <p class="aacTitle">"A Screenplay Submission"</p> 670 <p class="aacBy">by</p> 671 <p class="aacBy">My Name</p> 672 <div class="aacAddress"> 673 <p>555 My Street</p> 674 <p>City, State 55555</p> 675 <p>555-555-5555</p> 676 <p>[email protected]</p> 677 </div> 678 </section> 679 </section> 680 </section> 681 </section> 682 </main> 683 </div> 684 </div> 685 </div> 686 687 <div class="vzWrap"> 688 <div class="vzBody"> 689 <ul> 690 <li>Three Reads <span>from three independent readers who each score you in 11 categories.</span></li> 691 <li>7-10 Pages <span>of specific and actionable notes.</span></li> 692 <li>Three Unique Loglines <span>that you can use to pitch your project. </span></li> 693 <li>Synopsis <span>Industry standard summary of your plot.</span></li> 694 <li>Free Listing <span>in our pro database if you score above 70.</span></li> 695 <li>Free Hosting <span> for all your features if one submission scores above 70.</span></li> 696 </ul> 697 <p class="vzBottomMessage">No other coverage service on the planet gives you so much detail and a chance at real exposure. So what are you waiting for?</p>
698 <button data-toggle="modal" href="#tallModal">View Coverage Sample <i class="fa fa-arrow-right"></i></button> 699 </div> 700 </div> 701 </section> 702</section></div> </div> 703 </div> 704 </div> 705 706 <div class="ablock-footer"><div><div></div></div></div> 707</div> 708<!-- END WIDGET 3494 --></div></div><div class="ahh_i3 ahh_grid_col"> <div class=" ap ap_1234"><!-- START WIDGET 3387 --> 709<div class=" ablock a-widget wid-3387 no-title"> 710 711 712 <div class="ablock-content"> 713 <div> 714 <div> 715 716<div class=""> 717 <!--http://codepen.io/danbowles/pen/axDJq--> 718 719<a name="successStories"></a> 720<section class="checkBack"> 721 <h1>Success</h1> 722 <div class="checkLogo"></div> 723 <h1>Stories</h1> 724</section></div> </div> 725 </div> 726 </div> 727 728 <div class="ablock-footer"><div><div></div></div></div> 729</div> 730<!-- END WIDGET 3387 --><!-- START WIDGET 3386 --> 731<div class=" ablock a-widget wid-3386 no-title"> 732 733 734 <div class="ablock-content"> 735 <div> 736 <div> 737 738<div class=""> 739
739<script src="//cdnjs.cloudflare.com/ajax/libs/prefixfree/1.0.7/prefixfree.min.js"></script>
739 740 741<section class="ooBG"> 742 743 744 745 <section class="ooUnit"> 746 <p> Over 70 movies have been produced through Spec Scout's partner Slated. Check out our latest success stories <a href="https://get.slated.com/successes/">here </a>. </p> 747 </section> 748 749 750 <section class="ooUnit"> 751 <h4> WHAT BREAKS THE ICE heads to production.</h4> 752 <p> The script from first-time writer-director Rebecca Eskreis scored a 74, which <a href="https://filmonomics.slated.com/congratulations-to-faith-based-drama-god-bless-the-broken-road-opening-wide-this-weekend-6df076bb8dd"target="_blank"> attracted two separate investments </a> through Slated. </p> 753 </section> 754 755 756 757 <section class="ooUnit"> 758 <h4> GOD BLESS THE BROKEN ROAD gets a wide release through Freestyle.</h4> 759 <p> Because of its 70 Script Score, the <a href="https://filmonomics.slated.com/congratulations-to-faith-based-drama-god-bless-the-broken-road-opening-wide-this-weekend-6df076bb8dd"target="_blank"> film </a> was able to attract all of its marketing financing through Slated. </p> 760 </section> 761 762 763 <section class="ooUnit"> 764 <h4> DEEP MURDER receives production financing.</h4> 765 <p> The script earned a Script Score of 76 and was <a href="https://variety.com/2017/film/news/christopher-mcdonald-katie-aselton-johnny-simmons-1202453811/"target="_blank"> introduced to investors </a> via Slated. It stars Chris Redd and Katie Aselton. </p> 766 </section> 767 768 <section class="ooUnit"> 769 <h4>BECOMING attracts lead producer/financier.</h4> 770 <p>The Script Score increased from a 64 to a 75 in three submissions! Slated introduced it to Traverse Media, who <a href="https://deadline.com/2018/05/the-vampire-diaries-star-penelope-mitchell-jason-patric-join-toby-kebbell-in-thriller-becoming-1202381348/"target="_blank">closed the cast, financing </a> and sent it into production. It stars Toby Kebell, Jason Patric, Penelope Mitchell. </p> 771 </section> 772 773 <section class="ooUnit"> 774 <h4>SUPER TROOPERS 2 finds key equity financing.</h4> 775 <p>While the project wasn't discovered on Spec Scout, it's 79 Script Score earned it a <a href="https://filmonomics.slated.com/congratulations-to-super-troopers-2s-1-friday-opening-db8bb12e77b?gi=5e925b20022d"target="_blank">key piece of financing</a> as it prepared for production. It has made over $30M U.S. box office. </p> 776 </section> 777 778 <section class="ooUnit"> 779 <h4>FIRST LIGHT debuts at SXSW 2018.</h4> 780 <p>This <a href="https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/review/first-light-review-1093301"target="_blank">sci-fi romance </a> attracted half of its financing on Slated after receving a 74 Script Score. </p> 781 </section> 782 783 <section class="ooUnit"> 784 <h4>CRUISE heads to production.</h4> 785 <p>AG Capital boarded the project and <a href="https://deadline.com/2018/05/vertical-entertainment-cruise-emily-ratajkowski-acquisition-1202380343/"target="_blank">fully financed</a> it in large part because of its Script Score through Slated. </p> 786 </section> 787 788 <section class="ooUnit"> 789 <h4>Brent Hartinger's DECKED finds a studio.</h4> 790 <p>The animated feature earned a 75.4 Script Score, which caught the attention of Beijing-based Popoko Studios who reached out and optioned the project. </p> 791 </section> 792 793 <section class="ooUnit"> 794 <h4>Elizabeth Shannon Slater-Dentâs MASTERPIECE gets set up with producers.</h4> 795 <p>The script was discovered on Spec Scout by producer E. Thompson (Twilight, Agent Cody Banks) due to its 75.3 Script Score and has attached director of photography Pawel Edelman (Ray, The Pianist). </p> 796 </section> 797 798 <section class="ooUnit"> 799 <h4>Matt Sinnreich finds rep, sells script.</h4> 800 <p>Matt's script HUNTED earned a Script Score of 77.8 before getting discovered by SS subscriber, Brooklyn Weaver, who ultimately signed the scribe and took the project out to buyers. Aldamisa Entertainment (Chef, Machete Kills) snapped it up, and Sinnreich will direct. </p> 801 </section> 802 803 <section class="ooUnit"> 804 <h4>Tony Shyu's THE MACAU OMEN gets set up with potential financier.</h4> 805 <p>Details are under wraps but the project earned a 77.5 Script Score, which it used to attaract the attention of a large equity fund who is structuring the deal now. </p> 806 </section> 807 808 <section class="ooUnit"> 809 <h4>Alex Ross signs with Benderspink, Markerstone Pictures.</h4> 810 <p>HEXEN earned a Recommend and Two Considers on Spec Scout before subscriber, Mark Lawyer, discovered the script, signed Alex, and took the project out with BenderSpink. </p> 811 </section> 812 813 <section class="ooUnit"> 814 <h4>Ted Nusbaum options IN THE CREASE, attaches EP. </h4> 815 <p>Details under wraps but J.C Spink (The Hangover, The Butterfly Effect, The Ring, We're the Millers) is attached as executive producer. Originally entitled HEART, it earned a 75 Script Score. </p> 816 </section> 817 818 <section class="ooUnit"> 819 <h4>David Boito signs with Markerstone Pictures. </h4> 820 <p>David's script, RUBBER TANK SQUAD, earned a 78.8, prompting Spec Scout Subscriber Mark Laywer to download the project and sign David. </p> 821 </section> 822 823 <section class="ooUnit"> 824 <h4>Michael Toay & Travis Mann discovered by Altered LA.</h4> 825 <p>The writing team had three top-scoring submissions to SpecScout, which were subsequently reviewed by Spec Scout subscriber and manager, Jorge Garcia. Garcia signed Toay and Mann in late 2014.</p> 826 </section> 827 828 <section class="ooUnit"> 829 <h4>SECOND BORN attaches producers, director.</h4> 830 <p>The sci-fi thriller script by David Jagernauth earned a Script Score of 85.5 and a free posting in SpecScout's industry database where it was discovered and optioned by Spec Scout subscriber and producer Stephanie Wilcox of Rumble Films. OLD BOY director Park Chan-Wook will direct and Rumble Films' David Lancaster (WHIPLASH, NIGHTCRAWLER, DRIVE) will produce along with Stephanie and Wonjo Jeong (STOKER).</p> 831 </section> 832 833 <section class="ooUnit"> 834 <h4>Matt Deller signs with Pete Letz.</h4> 835 <p>Matt Deller earned a Script Score of 75.1 and a free posting on SpecScout.com for his spec script, THE KNIGHT PROPER. Several months later, Spec Scout subscriber and manager Pete Letz signed Matt as a client at Cousin Pete Productions. </p> 836 </section> 837 838 <section class="ooUnit"> 839 <h4>Erik Linthorst signs with Infinity Management.</h4> 840 <p>Despite having produced feature credits, Scouted writer, Erik Linthorst was unrepped when he earned a Script Score of 77.5 on his comedy, QUIET THE RIOT. Jon Karas at Infinity Management discovered him and the rest is history. </p> 841 </section> 842 843 <section class="ooUnit"> 844 <h4>SNOWFALL attaches Benderspink</h4> 845 <p>Scouted writing team Brooks Elms and Glenn Sanders earned a Script Score of 79.6 for their period comedy, WRIGHT OR WRONG. Soon after, they optioned their spec thriller, SNOWFALL to Benderspink, who set up the project at Gold Circle. Evan Astrowsky (Cabin Fever, Zombeavers) is attached to produce. </section> 846 847 <section class="ooUnit"> 848 <h4>POST-IRONIC HIPSTER MASSACRE attaches producer, directors.</h4> 849 <p>Producer Phillip Adrien Chambrin discovered Scouted script POST-IRONIC HIPSTER MASSACRE, a comedy by Sean Frasier which earned a 83.8 Script Score. Phillip optioned the project and slated it for production at Cloud Burst Productions with directing duo Ben Franklin and Anthony Melton (Bloody Cuts) attached. </p> 850 </section> 851 852 <section class="ooUnit"> 853 <h4>Richard Guimond options both Scouted scripts</h4> 854 <p>Since he earned Spec Scout postings for two feature submissions, METACOMET and SEA FEVER, Scouted writer Richard Guimond has optioned both to production companies. Details remain under wraps at the request of the producers. </p> 855 </section> 856 857 858</section></div>
858 </div> 859 </div> 860 </div> 861 862 <div class="ablock-footer"><div><div></div></div></div> 863</div> 864<!-- END WIDGET 3386 --></div></div></section><section class=" ahh_i8 ahh_grid_row"><div class="ahh_i4 ahh_grid_col"> <div class=" ap ap_1235"><!-- START WIDGET 3531 --> 865<div class=" ablock a-widget wid-3531 no-title"> 866 867 868 <div class="ablock-content"> 869 <div> 870 <div> 871 872<div class=""> 873 <a name="submissionForm"></a> 874 875 876<section class="ww"> 877 <h3>Script Submission<small>Find out how your screenplay compares to the pros'.</small> </h3> 878 879 <form class="clearfix wwForm wow fadeInUp" method="post" action="/submissionpayment" enctype="multipart/form-data" name="ccForm" id="ccForm"> 880 881 <label class="wwLABEL"> 882 <input type="text" id="ccName" name="ccName" placeholder="My Name" class="wwINPUT" required > 883 </label> 884 885 <label class="wwLABEL"> 886 <input type="email" id="ccEmail" name="ccEmail" placeholder="My Email" class="wwINPUT" required > 887 </label> 888 889 <label for="ccUpload" class="wwLABEL ccUploadStyleA"> 890 Browse 891 <input type="file" id="ccUpload" name="ccUpload" class="wwINPUT" required> 892 <span id="wwFileName">Upload My script</span> 893 894 </label> 895 896 <label class="wwLABEL clearfix"> 897 <input type="submit" id="" name="" value="Submit" class="wwINPUT btn btn-default" /> 898 </label> 899 <div class="wwCheckbox"> 900 <input type="checkbox" id="ccTerms" name="ccTerms" required > 901 <span class="">I agree to the</span> 902 <a class="" href="/submission-agreement" target="_blank"> 903 Submission Agreement 904 </a> 905 </div> 906 907 908 </form> 909 910</section></div> </div> 911 </div> 912 </div> 913 914 <div class="ablock-footer"><div><div></div></div></div> 915</div> 916<!-- END WIDGET 3531 --></div></div></section><section class=" ahh_i9 ahh_grid_row"><div class="ahh_i5 ahh_grid_col"> <div class=" ap ap_1257"><!-- START BLOCKT 2019 --> 917<div class=" ablock a-block bid-2019 no-title"> 918 919 920 <div class="ablock-content"> 921 <div> 922 <div> 923 <!-- START WIDGET 3336 --> 924<div class=" ablock a-widget wid-3336 no-title"> 925 926 927 <div class="ablock-content"> 928 <div> 929 <div> 930 931<div class=""> 932 <footer class="ggBack"> 933 <div class="ggWrap"> 934 935 936 <section class="ggColumn"> 937 <h4><a href="/home">Spec Scout</a></h4> 938 <a href="/home/#howItWorks" class="ggA">The TL;DR Of It All</a> 939<!-- <a href="/home/#ourSubscribers" class="ggA">Our Subscribers</a> 940 --> 941 <a href="/home/#subscriberEndorsements" class="ggA">Subscriber Endorsements</a> 942 <a href="/home/#writerEndorsements" class="ggA">Writer Testimonials</a> 943 <a href="/home/#submissionForm" class="ggA">Submission Form</a> 944 945 </section> 946 947 948 <section class="ggColumn"> 949 <h4><a href="/screenwriters">For Writers</a></h4> 950 <a data-toggle="modal" href="#tallModal" class="ggA">Coverage Sample</a> 951 <a href="/screenwriters/#successStories" class="ggA">Success Stories</a> 952<!-- <a href="/screenwriters/#screenplaySubmission" class="ggA">Submit Your Script</a> --> 953 <a href="/screenwriters/#reasonsToSubmit" class="ggA">Top 10 Reasons...</a> 954 <a href="/screenwriters/#pricing" class="ggA">Pricing</a> 955 <a href="/screenwriters/#faq" class="ggA">FAQ</a> 956 </section> 957 958 <section class="ggColumn"> 959 <h4><a href="/pros">For Pros</a></h4> 960 <a href="/pros/#apply" class="ggA">Apply For Access</a> 961 <a href="/pros/#whatYouGet" class="ggA">What You Get</a> 962 <a href="/pros/#takeATour" class="ggA">Take A Tour</a> 963 <a href="/pros/#recentlyScouted" class="ggA">Recently Scouted Scripts</a> 964 965 966 </section> 967 <section class="ggColumn"> 968 <h4><a href="/score">The Score</a></h4> 969 <a href="/score/#howTheScoreWorks" class="ggA">How It Works</a> 970 <a href="/score/#tenCategories" class="ggA">The Ten Categories</a> 971 <a href="https://logins.specscout.com/screenwritingresources" class="ggA">Screenwriting Resources</a>
972<!-- <a data-toggle="modal" href="#tallModal" class="ggA">Coverage Sample</a> --> 973 974 </section> 975 976 <!-- 977<section class="ggColumn wow fadeInUp" data-wow-delay=".75s"> 978<h4><a href="/blog">Blog</a></h4> 979<a href="/blog/#subscribe" class="ggA">Subscribe To The Scoggins Report</a> 980<a href="/blog/#specMarketScorecard" class="ggA">Spec Market Scorecard</a> 981<a href="/blog/#pitchMarketScorecard" class="ggA">Pitch Market Scorecard</a> 982<a href="/blog/#specMarketRoundup" class="ggA">Spec Market Round-Up</a> 983<a href="/blog/#pitchMarketRoundup" class="ggA">Pitch Market Round-Up</a> 984</section> 985--> 986 987 <section class="ggColumn"> 988 <h4><a href="/about">About Us</a></h4> 989 <a href="/about/#missionStatement" class="ggA">Mission Statement</a> 990 <a href="/about/#founders" class="ggA">Our Founders</a> 991 <a href="/about/#contactUs" class="ggA">Contact Us</a> 992 </section> 993 994 995 996 </div> 997 998</footer> 999 1000 1001 1002 1003 1004 1005 1006 1007<div id="tallModal" class="modal modal-wide fade"> 1008 <div class="modal-dialog"> 1009 <div class="modal-content"> 1010 <div class="modal-header"> 1011 <button type="button" class="close" data-dismiss="modal"><span aria-hidden="true">×</span><span class="sr-only">Close</span></button> 1012 <!-- start heading --> 1013 <section class="covHeading"> 1014 <ul class="covHeadingUL"> 1015 <!-- Start Screenplay title --> 1016 <li><span class="covTitle">On the Cusp</span></li> 1017 <!-- Start writter information --> 1018 <li><span class="covWriter">by Brenden Braithwaite</span></li> 1019 <!-- start score --> 1020 <li><span class="covScore">73.7</span></li> 1021 1022 <button type="button" class="btnClose btn btn-success" data-dismiss="modal" aria-hidden="true"> 1023 <i class="fa fa-times"></i> 1024 </button> 1025 1026 </ul> 1027 <div class="clearfix"></div> 1028 </section> 1029 </div> 1030 1031 <div class="modal-body"> 1032 <main class="covBack"> 1033 <!-- start body --> 1034 <section > 1035 1036 <!-- start scoreboard --> 1037 <section class="covScoreboard"> 1038 <div> 1039 <label><span class="covLabelA">Overall Decision </span></label> 1040 <div> 1041 <span> </span> 1042 <span> </span> 1043 <span>C</span> 1044 <span>C</span> 1045 <span>C</span> 1046 </div> 1047 </div> 1048 1049 <div> 1050 <label>Reader Initial</label> 1051 <div class=" "> 1052 <span></span> 1053 <span></span> 1054 <span> 1055 <a class="covLabelB" href="#"> 1056 <b>R1</b> 1057 </a> 1058 </span> 1059 <span> 1060 <a class="covLabelB" href="#"> 1061 <b>R2</b> 1062 </a> 1063 </span> 1064 <span> 1065 <a class="covLabelB" href="#"> 1066 <b>R3</b> 1067 </a> 1068 </span> 1069 </div> 1070 </div> 1071 1072 1073 <div> 1074 <label>Premise</label> 1075 <div>
1076 <span class="covLabel4"> 3.3 </span> 1077 <span>|</span> 1078 <!-- start list all reader garade --> 1079 <span class="covLabel4">3</span> 1080 <span class="covLabel4">3</span> 1081 <span class="covLabel4">4</span> 1082 1083 </div> 1084 </div> 1085 <div> 1086 <label>Originality</label> 1087 <div> 1088 <span class="covLabel3"> 4.0 </span> 1089 <span>|</span> 1090 <!-- start list all reader garade --> 1091 <span class="covLabel3">4</span> 1092 <span class="covLabel3">4</span> 1093 <span class="covLabel3">4</span> 1094 1095 </div> 1096 </div> 1097 <div> 1098 <label>Dialogue</label> 1099 <div> 1100 <span class="covLabel3"> 3.3 </span> 1101 <span>|</span> 1102 <!-- start list all reader garade --> 1103 <span class="covLabel3">3</span> 1104 <span class="covLabel3">4</span> 1105 <span class="covLabel3">3</span> 1106 </div> 1107 </div> 1108 <div> 1109 <label>Structure</label> 1110 <div> 1111 <span> 3.0 </span> 1112 <span>|</span> 1113 <span class="covLabel4">3</span> 1114 <span class="covLabel4">3</span> 1115 <span class="covLabel3">3</span> 1116 </div> 1117 </div> 1118 <div> 1119 <label>Character</label> 1120 <div> 1121 <span> 3.3 </span> 1122 <span>|</span> 1123 <span class="covLabel3">3</span> 1124 <span class="covLabel4">4</span> 1125 <span class="covLabel3">3</span> 1126 </div> 1127 </div> 1128 <div> 1129 <label>Logic</label> 1130 <div> 1131 <span class="covLabel3"> 2.7 </span> 1132 <span>|</span> 1133 <span class="covLabel3">3</span> 1134 <span class="covLabel3">2</span> 1135 <span class="covLabel3">3</span> 1136 </div> 1137 </div> 1138 <div> 1139 <label>Conflict</label> 1140 <div> 1141 <span class="covLabel4"> 3.0 </span> 1142 <span>|</span> 1143 <span class="covLabel4">3</span> 1144 <span class="covLabel4">3</span> 1145 <span class="covLabel4">3</span> 1146 </div> 1147 </div> 1148 <div> 1149 <label>Tone</label> 1150 <div> 1151 <span> 3.3 </span>
1152 <span>|</span> 1153 <span class="covLabel4">3</span> 1154 <span class="covLabel4">3</span> 1155 <span class="covLabel3">4</span> 1156 </div> 1157 </div> 1158 <div> 1159 <label>Pacing</label> 1160 <div> 1161 <span> 3.0 </span> 1162 <span>|</span> 1163 <span class="covLabel3">3</span> 1164 <span class="covLabel4">3</span> 1165 <span class="covLabel3">3</span> 1166 </div> 1167 </div> 1168 <div> 1169 <label>Craft</label> 1170 <div> 1171 <span class="covLabel4"> 3.3 </span> 1172 <span>|</span> 1173 <span class="covLabel4">4</span> 1174 <span class="covLabel4">3</span> 1175 <span class="covLabel4">3</span> 1176 </div> 1177 </div> 1178 </section> 1179 1180 <!-- For left --> 1181 <section class="covContent"> 1182 1183 <!-- Start Logline--> 1184 <div class="covLogline"> 1185 <div> 1186 <div class="covRightLabel"> 1187 Loglines 1188 </div> 1189 <div class="covWrap"> 1190 <div> 1191 A man who carries the emotional burden of his failing family farm announces to his town that he plans to address their crippling drought with a live rain dance performance, and passionately sets out to make the hoax a reality. 1192 </div> 1193 </div> 1194 <div style="clearfix"></div> 1195 </div> 1196 1197 <div> 1198 <div class="covLogline_key"> 1199 <a href="#">R1 </a> 1200 </div> 1201 <div class="covLogline_val"> 1202 <div class="covWrap"> 1203 When the heir to a once-profitable agricultural plot decides to perform a raindance onstage before the whole town, his identical twin brother gets in on the action. As the show begins to take a toll on both of them, the familyâs issues begin to percolate to the surface. </div> 1204 </div> 1205 </div> 1206 <div> 1207 <div class="covLogline_key"> 1208 <a href="#"> R2 </a> 1209 </div> 1210 <div class="covLogline_val"> 1211 <div class="covWrap"> 1212 In an attempt to make some cash for his familyâs failing agricultural farm, a young man prepares for an act in which he attempts to summon rain, despite threats to his health and family's reputation. </div> 1213 </div> 1214 </div> 1215 <div> 1216 <div class="covLogline_key"> 1217 <a href="#"> R3 </a> 1218 </div> 1219 <div class="covLogline_val"> 1220 <div class="covWrap">
1221 A man with no training in the occult, issues a public statement to his rural town that he will summon a large storm, thereby resolving the 8-month-long draught that's crippled businesses. But when rumor spreads it's just a hoax, it's up to his family and the woman he loves to get to the bottom of his crazed agenda and halt the performance before it's too late. </div> 1222 </div> 1223 </div> 1224 </div> 1225 <!-- End Logline--> 1226 1227 1228 <div> 1229 <div class="covRightLabel">Genres</div> 1230 <div> 1231 <div class="covLeftFloat"> 1232 Film, Fiction, Live Action, Independent, Action, Drama, Romance, Comedy </div> 1233 </div> 1234 </div> 1235 1236 1237 <div> 1238 <div class="covRightLabel">Pages</div> 1239 <div class="covPagesRatedBudgetLead"> 1240 <div class="covLeftFloat"> 100 </div> 1241 1242 <!-- Start Rating --> 1243 <span> 1244 <span class=" covRightLabel">Rated</span> 1245 <div class="covLeftFloat"> 1246 PG </div> 1247 </span> 1248 1249 1250 <!-- Start Budget Calculation --> 1251 <span class="covRightLabel">Budget</span> 1252 <div class="covLeftFloat"> Low Budget</div> 1253 1254 <!-- Start Protagonist--> 1255 <div> 1256 <div class="covRightLabel">Lead</div> 1257 <div class="covLeftFloat"> 1258 <span>M</span> 1259 <span>Ambiguous</span> 1260 <span>31</span> 1261 <span>Good Looking</span> 1262 </div> 1263 </div> 1264 1265 </div> 1266 <div style="clear: left;"></div> 1267 </div> 1268 1269 <!-- Start Similar film--> 1270 <div> 1271 <div class="covRightLabel">Similar</div> 1272 <div class="covLeftFloat"> 1273 Lars and the Real Girl, Napoleon Dynamite, Rubber, Rushmore, Holy Man, The Prestiege, Son-In-Law. </div> 1274 </div> 1275 1276 <!-- Start period --> 1277 <div> 1278 <div class="covRightLabel">When</div> 1279 <div class="covLeftFloat"> 1280 Present; A few months. </div> 1281 </div> 1282 <!-- End period --> 1283 1284 1285 <!-- Start location --> 1286 <div> 1287 <div class="covRightLabel ">Where</div> 1288 <div class="covLeftFloat"> 1289 All Present-Day rural town. Rural roads, various farmhouses and fields, convention center, locker room, orchestra shell, park, Indian burial site, luxurious pre-fab home. 1290 </div> 1291 </div> 1292 1293 <!-- Start Synopsis --> 1294 <div> 1295 <div class="covLabelA">Synopsis</div> 1296 <div style="word-wrap: break-word;" > 1297 <p>A small boy, young KEVIN PAX (7), chases a LITTLE GIRL (6) through a field of Indian burial markings at the edge of a farm. Years later, Kevin, now in his thirties, fastens bells to his ankles and waives a feathered stick in dazzling motions before a skeptical audience of 6,000 townsfolk. The crowd grumbles in anticipation</p> 1298 <p>Flash back a few weeks earlier. At Crop Town, the family farm, Kevin's twin brother JOSH PAX (31) works diligently at the farm, uprooting weeds and trying to salvage a line of withering crops while he listens to an agricultural guru spell out the path to a healthy outcrop via podcast. Later, he and his sister JAMIE (32), the town's meteorologist and an employee of the family business, are called into an office by owner and patriarch JAKE PAX (57), where he informs them of Kevin's insane plan to charge townsfolk to wat
1298ch a live performance wherein he solves the town's draught via rain dance onstage. </p> 1299 <p>Kevin's act is set up at the Braithwaite Convention Center's Orchestra Shell, where shady owner MR. MENSCHE (53) has everything riding on the attraction. Beautiful MAGGIE (26) works at the convention center, and catches Kevin's eye. </p> 1300 <p>Jake confronts Kevin about his crazy act, and begs him not to do it; tensions that the town are too high to withstand antics that poke fun at people's misfortune. He offers him ownership of the farm, which Kevin refuses. Maggie and Jamie also try to talk him out of it, but Kevin still refuses. </p> 1301 <p>Mensche comes to Jake and pitches him an idea to sell merchandise during Kevin's act, which Jake accepts. As the first night of the act gets underway, Mensche takes the role of M.C., narrating Kevin's feat as he prepares to perform his first dance - a dress rehearsal- which will saturate the atmosphere in preparation for the storm. </p> 1302 <p>Upon his first movement, Kevin experiences an intense flashback to his childhood, with his mother teaching him how to two-step. When a light drizzle falls onto the park, the audience is impressed, and the "Dry-Run" is declared a hit. Kevin admits to Maggie that rain dancing is a wonderful experience, and it lets him remember everything heâs forgotten. </p> 1303 <p>After being pressured by Mensche, Jake promotes the show despite the dangers to Kevin's well being regarding skeptic members of the town who want to publicly shame him at the next performance. Having seen the revenue from the last performance, Jake would like to get Crop Town out of debt. As the months of preparation for the event drag on, Kevin develops pneumonia from having rehearsed so many cold nights in a row with such little clothing. He is warned by a DOCTOR PERSPY (72) to stop, but refuses. Word of mouth continues spreading about Kevin's upcoming main performance, in which he promises a complete storm. </p> 1304 <p>Kevin experiences more flashbacks, remembering more of his mother, and a little girl he used to play with at Crop Town. Maggie worries, but Kevin insists thereâs no other option for him; he's committed to the show, taken thousands of dollars in pre-sales. </p> 1305 <p>Jamie finds out that Mensche is spending all of the money theyâre making on the show, and Jake overhears. Jake is angry, blames Kevin, and beats Maggie while demanding that Kevin recoup the money. </p> 1306 <p>As rehearsals wear on, Kevin remembers the Crop Town and that the little girl was his first love. He admits to Maggie that rain-dancing is taking him back to things heâd rather forget, and that itâs not the freedom he intended to experience. </p> 1307 <p>On the night of the main event, thousands of townsfolk show up. In the convention center locker room, Kevin has flashbacks, remembering finding his motherâs corpse on burial site that day, and rushes prematurely on stage, proclaiming that he canât do the act anymore. Mensche threatens him, but Jake stands up for Kevin, offering to take his place. Jake attempts the dance, but is very quickly booed off stage by people who've paid to see Kevin summon rain. </p> 1308 <p>Leaving Mensche to deal with the audience, Kevin takes Maggie away and tells her he doesnât care that sheâs a prostitute, and admits that heâs a virgin. He takes her to the Indian burial site, where he confronts his most painful memories. He remembers his motherâs unhappiness, and her desire to leave. He realizes that his life has been stunted since her death, and as he symbolically crawls through the yard to the scene where he found her body, he realizes itâs time to move on with his life. </p> 1309 <p>Back at the orchestra shell, the crowd has disbanded and Mensche picks up trash muttering to himself. Kevin apologizes to Josh for failing to understand his warnings, and thanks Jake for letting him be himself. Kevin admits to Maggie that heâs never danced with a girl before. Aas they step out onto the empty stage together, she teaches him as a proud Jake Pax looks on. 1310 </p> 1311 1312 </div> 1313 </div> 1314 <!-- End Synopsis --> 1315 1316 <!-- Start Comments --> 1317 <div class="covComments"> 1318 <div class="covLabelA"> 1319 <a href="#"> Reader 1 </a> Comments 1320 </div> 1321 1322 <div style="word-wrap: break-word;" > 1323 OVERALL (4)<br> 1324 âOn the Cuspâ initially captures attention with its somewhat original premise of a man attempting to perform a successful rain dance on stage to save his town and reputation, and retains interest with strong writing ability, and memorable dialogue. It is ultimately an uneven effort however, hampered by somewhat unclear character motivations, a loose structural path, and logical inconsistencies. While logical hiccups specifically related to summoning the rain could be suspended in order to appreciate the premise, other plot holes erode believability in execution. While tension over whether or not the main character can actually perform a real rain dance is capitalized on throughout, more could be done to produce conflict related to the dramatic question surrounding his ability. Through well-written, witty dialogue, many scenes pop and feel fresh. Another strength-- the tone of surrealistic dramedy remains mostly consistent throughout, with only subtle shifts that feel earned. With some attention to structure and character, "On the Cusp" could really shine. <br> 1325 <br> 1326 PREMISE (3)<br> 1327 The premise, that a man with self-proclaimed powers of natural transcendence can execute a real-life rain dance, is somewhat thin in terms of its implied conflict. âOn the Cuspâ commits to the premise, however, and develops a surrealist, humorous drama, somewhat centered on thematic throughlines related to relationships, art and what it means to be American. That said, a position on these topics is not truly developed by the resolution and, as a result, the perspective is unclear. The core concept provides some fertile ground for interesting situations and a natural build, and the underlying core concept can be discerned and summarized quickly. The world in which this occurs never feels very specific. More might be done to explain how Kevin's actions fit into a largely, societal whole, thereby clarifying and advancing the themes and a perspective on them. <br> 1328 <br> 1329 STRUCTURE (3)<br> 1330 While a beginning, middle, and end exist, more could be done to ensure proper cohesion throughout. It could be argued that a lack of clear and traditional structure is meant to mirror the fever-dream aspects of Kevin's existence, but enough structure beats are present that this seems counterintuitive. There isnât an inciting incident in the traditional sense. In a typical structure, the inciting incident could be Kevin's motherâs death, or his decision to perform the surgery, but âOn the Cuspâ currently skips past this beat. One might say that Josh's conversation with Kevin could fulfill the inciting incident role, but this is much more of a reaction to Kevin's previous decision to perform the dance (13.3-15.6), and so it doesnât quite fit. The first major turning point, Kevin rehearsing the dance for the first time, happens a
1330ppropriately (35.3). The second major turning point, Kevin remembering his motherâs death and deciding not to perform the dance, occurs expectantly (74.3). The climax, Kevin returning to the site of his motherâs death, might be somewhat underwhelming, given that most of the other plotlines are resolved before this beat (96.7). Rearranging the scene order slightly so that Kevin reaches the site while Josh is undergoing surgery instead, for example, could raise the tension and keep the narrative focused. As of now, this moment feels like an afterthought. Further resolution could be added. Genevieve leaving feels like an important beat that should be shown instead of discussed after the fact (64.4). Expectations are created for the Maggie character to return at some point in the present, perhaps as an attendee to the show. <br> 1331 <br> 1332 CHARACTER (3)<br> 1333 The characters feel somewhat developed, but âOn the Cuspâ could benefit from taking them a step further. The protagonist, Kevin, is an obviously damaged man, who decides to perform a rain dance in a large, public spectacle in order to gain the county's respect. His father, Josh, implores him to reconsider, thereby saving his life. Kevin's refusal to come home demonstrates how damaged he is as a person, and how twisted his mindset is in regards to his ability to command the weather (14.7). The reveal that Josh blames himself for his wifeâs death adds a layer to his character, but he is largely absent from the script (97.4). Kevin seeing his mother when he performs the dance is an interesting wrinkle to his character, adding depth and explanation to the otherwise ludicrous act of a live rain dance (38.8). More might be done to develop Genevieveâs character however. She claims to be attracted to men who engage in âgenerousâ acts, but this could be expounded upon and developed (38.5). Almost all of the charactersâ backstories could be further explored. Mr. Mensche is mostly ineffectual as an antagonist, as his threats donât seem logically consistent, and the stakes are never quite explained. <br> 1334 <br> 1335 CONFLICT (3)<br> 1336 The concept of emotional conflict is introduced early through the visualization of a hometown devastated by draught (3.2). Given that the first few pages explain the themes via voiceover, the performance of the dance and, by extension, those themes, raises the first flag of trouble. Even if the source of conflict is clear, an antagonist or antagonistic force isnât specifically introduced or named yet. The primary external conflict, the obstacles to Kevin's desire to perform the dance, feel a bit cartoony at times (7.4). Nevertheless, it provides an able rallying point for his family, Josh, Josh, and Jamie to bond over, and struggle against. Mr. Mensche presents as a clear antagonist, threatening Kevin directly (10.8), and then demonstrating how dangerous he is by beating another man (46.6). Despite this show of force, itâs never as clear as it could be exactly what his destructive means are. It might be prudent to demonstrate exactly how much Mr. Mensche is losing on his venture with Kevin, in order to better contextualize his anger and the lengths to which he could go for revenge (62.3). <br> 1337 <br> 1338 DIALOGUE (4)<br> 1339 The dialogue is overwhelmingly well written, but not without a few areas for improvement. Voice over is used to varying degrees of success to frame the context of the narrative, especially at the beginning (1.2-2.8, 35.9). The Voodoo Guruâs advice is well articulated and interesting to read (3.7-3.9). Joshâs speeches in particular are well realized (41.8, 49.1). While Mr. Menscheâs speeches are also well written and snappy, his speech patterns and tone are at times similar to Joshâs, sometimes causing confusing (75.9). The dialogue c
1339an occasionally be expository when clear visuals, or even flashback, could suffice, such as when Jamie recalls several occasions Kevin convinced Josh to use the yard for various reasons (4.4, 67.4). The dialogue occasionally feels stilted and older than expected, such as when Kevin explains that his mother died many years prior (39.6). The dialogue might be too novelistic at times, such as Genevieveâs long-winded explanation during a moment of high tension (86.1, 92.9). <br> 1340 <br> 1341 PACING (3)<br> 1342 Most scenes are appropriate for their length and purpose, but certain sequences might be too fast, while others are too slow. Whether or not Kevin can survive the angry crowd should rain not come provides a decent amount of tension. Six months might pass too quickly without enough of a bridge or transition to explain what Kevin and the rest of the characters have been up to during the interim (49.8). Jamie, for example, is in the same position six months later than she was prior to the time jump (57.8). Kevin and Genevieveâs relationship also feels rushed, especially when Mr. Mensche comes back and accuses Genevieve of making decisions based on her feelings for Kevin. More time might be spent allowing their relationship to develop in scenes, as opposed to skipping ahead to when it is already developed (61.7). <br> 1343 <br> 1344 TONE (4)<br> 1345 The tone is largely consistent. Joshâs explanation about why he allowed two middle-school aged children into the back of a Buick at work is quite funny and poppy, and comes as a welcome humorous reprieve from the potentially melodramatic voiceover at the beginning (5.3). Kevinâs announced intention to perform the dance jarringly tips the tonal scales from realism into surrealist fantasy. The tone subtly shifts from surrealist, comic family drama to include a commentary on American sensationalism, and capitalism, as Josh adds another daily show to his brotherâs performance, disregarding his safety or feelings to sell more tickets (43.8). A sequence in which Kevin defecates on stage might be too shocking for some (48.7-49.3). <br> 1346 <br> 1347 ORIGINALITY (4)<br> 1348 The premise of a man performing a raindance on stage is highly original in that no recent comparisons come to mind. Movies about public, high-stakes performances arenât particularly original, but âOn the Cuspâ freshly combines aspects of âThe Prestigeâ with comedic supernatural mysteries like "Holy Man." Tonal comparisons could be drawn with âNapoleon Dynamite,â and even âDrive,â to a certain extent. âRubberâ is another surrealist film in this vein. âOn the Cuspâ defines its own unique sense of character, however, and not derivative of any of the previously mentioned films. 1349 <br> 1350 <br> 1351 LOGIC (3)<br>Several logical issues exist. Immediately noticeable, Kevinâs plan to perform the dance seems so completely ridiculous that a real person couldnât possibly imagine doing such a thing (8.9). Itâs also not entirely clear over what timeframe âOn the Cuspâ takes place. The imagery feels aged, suggestive of a period piece set perhaps in the mid-twentieth to late century, making Joshâs mention of Pixar feel anachronistic (6.8). Kevin explaining a bit about his training to dance is appreciated, and could even be extended somewhat (29.7, 47.4). Kevin later refusal to dance would be a legal matter, and as such, Josh could threaten to call the police or involve lawyers instead of allowing himself to be intimidated by Mr. Mensche (79.7). It isnât clear how Kevin knows where Genevieve is, especially after she pointedly refuses to tell him (81.6). Also strange - Genevieve admits to being a prostitute and Mr. Mensche her pimp in front of Corey, a police officer (87.3). <br><br> 1352 CRAFT (3)<br> 1353 The writing is almost entirely strong, but could still benef
1353it from polishing in some areas. The description itself could be a bit overwritten, as it is occasionally difficult to follow due to an abundance of adjectives throughout. Camera angles and direction are sometimes given (7.7, 12.4, 34.9, 35.4, 35.9, 36.1, 36.4, 43.6, 47.1, 49.8, 50.1, 50.7, 66.4, 68.1, 71.3, 74.8, 90.4). Incorrect punctuation is used (21.6 âCan you say that?â not âCan you say that.â) There is a missing period (41.4). Unnecessary capitalization occurs (59.4 âBefore aâ not âBefore Aâ). Typos exist (62.6 âintentional orâ not âintentional ofâ / 96.6 âdisbeliefâ not âdisbeliefâ). A few sentences are awkwardly worded (77.9 âaudience startsâ not âaudience startingâ / 78.7 âflinchesâ not âflinchingâ). There is one missing space between a period and the next word (84.9). <br> 1354 </div> 1355 </div> 1356 <div class="covComments"> 1357 <div class="covLabelA"> 1358 <a href="#"> Reader 2 </a> Comments 1359 </div> 1360 1361 <div style="word-wrap: break-word;" > 1362 OVERALL (3)<br> 1363 Highly original and thematically clear, âOn the Cuspâ paints a compelling portrait of an eccentric family and their attempts to stop a misguided sibling from doing something dumb. Some of the conflicts that arise feel a little forced, and the execution doesnât quite establish a tone to go with its left-of-center premise. The characters are strong, though their relationships seem inconsistent at times. This tends to put pressure on the largely character-driven structure. The dialogue is brimming with fresh voices, unique to each character, despite occasionally feeling overwritten. Thereâs a visceral nature to the craft that heightens the material, bringing passion to it. But at times, formatting errors and fragmented sentences distract from the larger picture. This kind of issue seems to pervade throughout each element of âOn the Cusp'sâ larger scheme. While the big parts run smoothly, itâs the little things that could help it shine brighter. <br> <br> 1364 1365 PREMISE (3) <br> 1366 When Kevin, an heir to a profitable agricultural plot, decides to perform a raindance onstage before the whole town, his identical twin brother Josh gets in on the action. As the show begins to take a toll on both of them, the familyâs issues begin to percolate to the surface. While definitely an oddball premise, itâs one thatâs fresh and original. Itâs clear and Josh to pitch, providing a rich foundation for character and plot development. Currently, the expectation is set for Kevin to have a huge journey of self-discovery while doing something crazy. But the focus tends to shift as Kevinâs journey doesnât quite get pinned down. To best capitalize on this premise, it might be a good idea to flesh out the relationships between Kevin, Josh, and their father just a bit more. Since the nature of the premise hinges upon this family, moreso than the spectacle of Kevin performing the dance, having clearer relationships to hold onto could heighten the experience. <br> <br> 1367 1368 STRUCTURE (3) <br> 1369 âOn the Cuspâ rests on a largely character-driven structure, following Kevin as he discovers new things about himself and his past. Yet, the main plot engine moves forward by utilizing Josh and his conflicts surrounding the show. This tends to remove Kevinâs agency as a protagonist at times. To better center Kevin in his own story, the main beats could be hinging more on him rather than on Josh. For example, the inciting incident occurs when Josh discovers Kevin is planning on performing the dance (7.5). Kevin has been set on resolving the draught since the plotâs inception, so he poses little resistance once the action gets going. The call to action once again rests on Josh, as he approaches Mr. Mensche to capitalize on Kevinâs stunt (25.1). The midpoint is Joshâs too, when he unexpectedly announces a second show, putting physical and mental pressure on Kevin to perform (43.2). Since the first half places Kevin in an inactive role, the build and climax feels a little flat, since the stakes are lower for Kevin than for Josh. (87.1) One other thing that could help strengthen the narrative is including more of Kevin and Joshâs father throughout, since he seems to be a source of the familyâs conflict. <br> <br> 1370 1371 CHARACTER (4) <br> 1372 Kevin is odd, timid, and easily manipulated. Josh is an opportunist without a real direction in life. Together, these identical twins make a compelling pair that constitutes a two-hander with Kevin the spotlight, driving most of the action. While both characters have clear goals, Kevin could be more fleshed out at times. His backstory is a little shaky, not fully addressing his amnesia around the loss of his mother (73.4). Since this is a major component to Kevin performing the dance, it c
1372ould be clarified a bit more. Kevin - despite being the driver of action - also tends to be passive, deferring to his stronger twin in his actions (44.5). At times this works to an advantage, providing contrast between the brothers and outlining an intriguing, albeit slightly manipulative, relationship. Regardless of the smaller flaws, both Kevin and Josh are strong characters with distinctive traits that set them apart. The one character that could use some work is Mr. Mensche, who comes off a little flat as an antagonist. <br> <br> 1373 1374 CONFLICT (3) <br> 1375 The main external conflict centers on complications to Kevinâs stunt and the differing opinions on how/if it should be done. Mr. Mensche, the mafia-esque owner of the hotel, provides the main source of conflict, keeping the show going despite the mental and physical toll it takes on both brothers (62.3). While it is a somewhat formidable external conflict, it doesnât quite escalate gradually. Kevin rarely wavers in his commitment to perform the dance until he finds the memory of his mother (73.4). Once Josh steps in, Kevin doesnât fight that either, knowing his brother is stubborn (87.2). Kevinâs internal conflict is a little shaky as well. At first performing the dance is all about the rush, or becoming the rain in some mystical way (36.2). Itâs about freeing himself from his family and his destined path in life. Though throughout, the dance somehow triggers memories and the arc becomes about surmounting childhood trauma and discovering an identity (93.5). The climax focuses on the secondary arc. However, the first is slightly stronger. Overall, it feels as if two separate storylines fight for attention, and donât quite come together in the end. <br> <br> 1376 1377 DIALOGUE (4) <br> 1378 Thereâs definitely a voice to the dialogue, a general kind of tone and twang that works with the setting. Characters have differentiating voices that help move the dialogue along. Josh is a fast talker with a memorable catchphrase (22.6), while Kevin is more reserved. This helps both build conflict and bolster the voice of the piece. Though Josh and Kevinâs voices arenât necessarily novel, they are distinct. One issue that pops up, however, is that the dialogue sometimes feels overwritten. While this serves to advance character in places (23.4), other times it feels a little gratuitous (62.1). Beyond that, the dialogue works well and is a high point. <br> <br> 1379 1380 PACING (3) <br> 1381 In general, scenes tend to be too long for their purpose. Plot points and emotional beats sometimes get played to the point of repetitiveness as conversations drag on (24.6). While the first half feels better paced, the second half tends to lull a bit. In the first half, tension is established as the show tests Kevin and Joshâs limits. Once the second half rolls around, the tension disperses as the stakes die down. Some scenes feel a little more jumbled as the action tries to find its stride. For example, the pacing feels off during the sequence where Josh gets put in the hospital when he tries to perform the dance, only to have Kevin whisk Genevieve away on a date one scene later (88.3). In order to make the action flow a bit better, there could be a little more structure between these emotionally charged moments. <br> <br> 1382 1383 TONE (3) <br> 1384 At times, it feels like âOn the Cuspâ doesnât quite find a balance between the inherent eccentricity of the premise and the serious family drama behind it. While some scenes work as comic relief, such as the scenes between Jamie and Joe, there are others that seem off. An example would be the scene with Josh in the hospital, where itâs life or death at the start and completely resolved by the end (88.3). Sometimes it seems like the material takes itself a bit too seriously, which hinders the funnier moments and makes things feel a little inconsistent. <br> <br> 1385 1386 ORIGINALITY (4) <br> 1387 Combining a Coen Brothers vibe with a left-of-center premise, âOn the Cuspâ has a fresh originality to it. The premise is unique, with inherently interesting characters and settings. âOn the Cuspâ presents a fresh take on the typical family business, infusing it with an unconventional feel. The themes and characters are reminiscent of films like âRaising Arizonaâ and âRubber.â Little feels derivative, partially because the premise is so out there. The one element that stands out as more tired is Mr. Mensche and his overbearing crime-boss attitude. Other than that, the piece feels fresh. <br> <br> 1388 1389 LOGIC (2) <br> 1390 There are some plot holes and unanswered questions that prevent reasonable suspension of disbelief. Ironically, few of them have to do with Kevin summoning rain. The first major plot hole occurs when Mr. Mensche leaves to take care of some shady business. It makes sense that heâd go out to tie up a loose end himself, but thereâs little need for him to be gone for six months (46.3). Mr. Mensche is also the deciding factor in keeping the show going. So why would Josh continue to perform the dance even after Jamie offers him an out that Mr. Mensche doesnât contest (85.3)? Near the end, Kevin makes a decision that feels out of character for him as well, and itâs a major point in the climax. Why would he take Genevieve on a date to a site he knows caused him intense childhood trauma (94.9)? It makes the whole climax feel forced. <br> <br> 1391 1392 CRAFT (3) <br> 1393 The writing is often visceral and highly visual. Rain memory montages are clear standout
1393s (35.3). However, there are a few elements that could potentially be distracting or disadvantageous to production. For example, phrases like âhorses pitsâ (2.8). Are they horseshoes? Things like this make it difficult to visualize certain aspects. The use of fragments, while not forbidden, tend to muddle the action the way they're currently used (3.4, 59.8, etc). In these examples they behave more like distractions than contributions to the voice of the piece. A few other things pop up as distracting. Alternating uses between âgoddamnâ not âgoddamâ occur throughout (7.2, 54.6, etc.). There are a couple formatting errors as well. Parentheticals like âinto micâ and âinto phoneâ should go below character headings (30.2, 39.9, etc.). There shouldnât be timestamps in sluglines, as thereâs no way to show exact times of day without superimposing it onscreen (31.3). </div> 1394 </div> 1395 <div class="covComments"> 1396 <div class="covLabelA"> 1397 <a href="#"> Reader 3 </a> Comments 1398 </div> 1399 1400 <div style="word-wrap: break-word;" > 1401 OVERALL (3) <br> 1402 âOn the Cuspâ is an offbeat dramedy concerning a man who puts on an act of being able to summon rain before a 6,000 person audience of townsfolk suffering from a draught . A satisfying arc is somewhat damaged by a character whoâs mysterious to the audience for a large part of the plot, and conflict lacks some of its intended relevance for the same reason. A solid structure and decent pacing is a bit weakened by the late character revelation and resulting rush towards resolution. The premise, dialogue, and original elements are the narrativeâs definite strengths, with visual and skillful prose solidifying the decidedly incomparable tone. Overall, âOn the Cuspâ is deserving of any efforts taken in revision, as the idea, characters, and world are risky yet emotional, and have the potential to result in an especially novel narrative. <br> <br> 1403 1404 PREMISE (4) <br> 1405 In an attempt to make some cash for his familyâs failing agricultural farm, a young man prepares for an act in which he attempts to summon rain, despite threats to his health and family's reputation. After he starts to experience intense flashbacks upon performing the dance, heâs forced to confront painful buried memories that have haunted him ever since her death. The premise includes a main character with a distinct goal, plenty of internal conflict, and a unique and compelling external conflict. The young manâs goal of summoning a storm is complicated by the inherent danger of aggravating a crowd who's paid to see him, and his familyâs failing finances stand to put a good amount of pressure on him, and creating a situation that necessitates his risks. His past with his mother also complicates his act, as painful memories resurface and his presumably tenuous grip on mental stability is further endangered. Despite the strange circumstances of the characterâs world, universal themes are apparent. They include the effects of tragedy on individuals and families, the various ways they deal with it, and necessity of facing them head on. The premise itself feels immediately fresh and poses engaging questions, and might easily fit into the offbeat, indie drama or comedy genres. The narrativeâs execution is largely on par with the premise, especially in regards to tone. Various elements of character and structure might benefit from the focus on the main character that the premise outlines, but the nonetheless, the narrative delivers much of what makes the premise special. <br> <br> 1406 1407 STRUCTURE (3) <br> 1408 The plot is guided by classic three-part structure and utilizes significant plot points to good effect, but has a few notable weaknesses. A dreamy, surreal opening firmly establishes the world and tone (1), while a quick shot of Kevin doing the dance introduces the main character and his crazy act (2). His family and their attitudes are then shown (3-7), and Kevin enter
1408s into a contract with Mr. Mensche (8-10). Various scenes with family members and love interest Genevieve follow (11, 12, 16-18, 28-29), and they try to talk Kevin out of putting on the show (13-15, 19-20). Josh sets up a deal with Mensche (23-25), and the act finally starts (30-33). The first major turning point comes a little late, with Kevin rehearsing for the first time and experiencing his first memory of his mother (34-36). The middle deals with Kevinâs nightly act, and Joshâs increased involvement (43). At the midpoint, Kevinâs health takes a turn for the worse (50), and Kevinâs progressive flashbacks lead to him remembering finding his motherâs corpse (73-74). The second turning point is timely, as Kevin quits the act, only to be threatened by Mensche (75). The last third kicks off with Josh taking over (80.3), and Kevin dealing with his issues. He declares his love for Genevieve (82-83), and returns to the farm to finally face his motherâs death while crawling through the tunnel to the place he found her corpse (90-96). A satisfying resolution is seen as Kevin accepts his motherâs place in his past, and apologizes to his father, driving off with Genevieve, behind the todem pole for the first time (97-100). Aside from the late first turning point, much of the first third is spent dealing with characters other than Kevin, keeping him and his motivations somewhat mysterious. Josh, Jamie, and Joshâs perspectives on Kevin and his act are shown, leaving little time for Kevin. Once the middle commences, the focus switches a bit more to Kevin, but only enough to make him feel equal in importance to Josh. The last third is when Kevin takes center stage, and most is learned about his character. Itâs also when he does the most work, makes the most definitive decisions, and faces the most intense conflict. This lends an imbalance to the structure that might be remedied if Kevin had a more in-depth set up in the first third. His climatic âbattleâ with his past in the tunnel sequence is well placed, but the revelations that come right before it could better serve the narrative if they were placed much earlier. Also, a few major threads are missing a resolution. Kevin and his internal struggles are resolved, but Joshâs fate, the fate of Crop Town, and Mr. Menscheâs boldly levied threats are left unaddressed. Dealing with Kevin earlier and more progressively might leave more room in the last third to resolve those questions, further evening out the structure. <br> <br> 1409 1410 CHARACTER (3) <br> 1411 âOn the Cuspâ contains a compelling and flawed main character who has a goal and undergoes a satisfying change, but his back-story and internal motivation is only vaguely explored for much of the plot, making it difficult to relate to his struggle and appreciate his change. Kevin is an eclectic young man from whose goal of summoning a rainstorm in front of an audie
1411nce is clear from the opening scenes. His relationship with his father Josh, twin brother Josh, and sister Jamie sees strain due to Kevinâs crazy goal (13-15, 19-20, 28-29), and itâs Josh to see that Kevin wants to accomplish this insane feat. However, Kevin is kept at an armâs distance from the audience. Why heâs so intent on performing the dance, what the deeper issues that determine his dynamic with his family are, and his internal conflict are all somewhat mysterious. A large focus is put on establishing Joshâs character (3-4), and stake in Kevinâs act (23-25, 27), and therefore, what drives him is easier to understand. Not until Kevins hakes his first anklet and experiences an intense flashback (34-36) is there any hint of a deeper reason for his act. He tells love interest Genevieve that dancing for rain is a wonderful experience, and that it allows him to see everything, including his deceased mother (38-39). Itâs not clear whether these flashbacks are his motivation to dance in the first place, or theyâre an unexpected result of it. As Kevin continues with the act, he experiences more flashbacks (50-51, 66-67, 72-73), eventually remembering finding his motherâs corpse, and admitting that heâs seeing things heâd rather forget (69.2), then publicly quitting the act (74). Kevinâs biggest internal flaw isnât apparent until that juncture, when itâs clear that heâs been struggling with the loss of his mother, and that as a result, his life has been stunted. The late reveal that heâs still a virgin (82-83), has never danced (98.9), and fearful of life progressing (93) clarifies the kind of struggles that might complicate and inform his actions throughout, but they fail to since theyâre vague up until that point. Objectively, his transformation is satisfying and emotional, but itâs difficult to perceive it as such since the audience has only truly gotten to know Kevin moments before it happens. Early on, he makes statements that suggest a definitive state of mind (37.5, 51.9), but what that is, and how itâs to be understood by the audience, is unclear due to the vague nature of his character at that point. With such rich characters full of interesting and intense struggles, simply highlighting those early on, and letting the audience have a more intimate perspective on them could maximize their potential, allowing the audience to experience their struggles along with them rather than from a distance. <br> <br> 1412 1413 CONFLICT (3) <br> 1414 Both internal and external conflict exist, but their relevance to the characters, as well as the stakes involved, are somewhat unclear. The issues with Kevinâs character, that his motivation, struggles, and flaws are vague, are also apparent in conflict. Kevin experiences intense flashbacks when he starts to dance, but they donât start to challenge him or cause any dilemmas until the moment he remembers his motherâs corpse (73), and quits the act (74). A man who does something as risky as this is clearly struggling with something, but that something isnât known until then, and even later, when the effects of his hidden memory become clear. His fears of women, dancing, and life are introduced well into the last third, as theyâre stated by Kevin. These conflicts play out almost as mysteries being revealed, and the narrative suffers as a result. Theyâre interesting conflicts, and ones that Kevin has been dealing with for years, but the audienceâs time with Kevin is limited to watching him dance, without the full knowledge of all the complications that come with it. Kevinâs relationship with his family is also vaguely drawn, with some tension coming from Kevinâs choice to put on the act, as well as his insistence that he doesnât want to take over Auto Town (19-20). Joshâs sacrifice for his brother (79) seems to be a change from their status quo, as does Kevinâs forgiveness of his father (97-98), but those specific issues werenât very clear throughout the narrative. Much like with character, outlining what charactersâ internal struggles and relationship dynamics are might go a long way in bringing the maximum amount of conflict to events as they happen. Introducing Kevinâs lack of experience with, and fear of, women might heighten the obstacles he faces in his relationship with Genevieve, especially when Mr. Mensche disapproves. <br> <br> 1415 1416 DIALOGUE (3) <br> 1417 The narrative relies heavily on dialogue to establish character and highlight theme, but a variety of memorable and distinct voices help strengthen it. Dialogue heavy portions play out like monologues (5, 23-25, 60-62, 76), giving the scenes a bit of a start and stop feel despite the entertaining and varied nature of their content. Kevin expresses much needed character revelation in a late scene with Genevieve (92-93), but much of what he says might benefit the narrative by being shown or hinted at more clearly through earlier action. Kevinâs omniscient V.O. works well in the opening scene (1), but feels a bit random later (35-36), especially since doesnât return during the narrativeâs final scenes. However, specific voices are where dialogue shines. Josh (4.3, 5.2, 22-23, 30-31, 34.1, 76.2, 79.4), Mensche (10.1, 75.8), and Jamie (15-16, 28-29, 32.5) all speaks in contrasting, entertaining ways that roun
1417d the dialogue and help give the narrative its offbeat tone. Kevin stands out as the earnest one (38, 52.8, 70.1, 97-98), which is consistent with the emotionally sensitive character heâs revealed to be. Characters are most effectively drawn through their dialogue, and while action could stand to be more of a presence in their characterization, itâs nonetheless one of the narrativeâs strengths. <br> <br> 1418 1419 PACING (3) <br> 1420 Events are well paced and scenes never drag, but late insights on character make the last third feel rushed. Scenes flow well through the opening and character introductions, and are short and dynamic despite their reliance on dialogue. Montages (30-33), and surreal flashbacks (35-36, 50-51, 73-74) help break up the dialogue, and are spaced well enough to avoid feeling repetitive. However, the pace drags in regards to dealing with Kevin, who simply dances and experiences the flashes until late, when they yield the memory of his motherâs body (74). This ushers in a somewhat rushed series of events, when Kevin quits (75), takes bold action with Genevieve (82), and reveals significant things about himself (83, 93) that lead to his final trek through the tunnel (94-96), and his triumphant exodus from Auto Town (100). Meanwhile, Josh has taken over the act and bleeds onstage (84), suggesting that they find other people who look like Kevin to take over (91.3), but that plot line isnât seen again, feeling abruptly cut off and begging for some sort of resolution. Spreading Kevinâs progression throughout the middle and last thirds is advisable, while providing a resolution for Josh and his vital subplot might also be beneficial. <br> <br> 1421 1422 TONE (4) <br> 1423 A wholly unique mix of somber, surreal, and inane elements help define a distinct tone thatâs consistent throughout. The narrative opens with a surreal image of a boy emerging from the inside of an Indian burial, aided by a lyrical voice-over (1). This mix of visually abstract things happening in a literal world continues as Kevin is shown putting a ghungroo and jiggling it (2). An Mensche of absurdity continues throughout, as Kevin summons a small shower on stage (48), Josh digs a 400 foot hole looking for a well (55, 97), and the cup of water from Kevin's initial shower is used to start a new farm (49.9). Dialogue contains this somewhat maniacal tone as well, with Joshâs onstage rants (31-32, 50), and Kevinâs one-sided conversation with the anklets (7-8, 70.1) feel similarly crazed. However, more serious elements have their place as well. The various flashbacks that Kevin experiences (35-36, 50-51, 66-67) add a dreamlike quality that creates a good atmosphere for the exploration of his heartbreaking memories. The tone never feels threatened by these, and by the time Kevin crawls through the auto tunnel as an adult, the absurd and the sad have joined, and make sense. The theme of humansâ relationship with rain, and the important moments that happen in and around them, give the tone a bit of a retro feel, which is aided by Joshâs voice, Menscheâs appearance and hotel, and the distinctly old-time practice of death defying sideshow stunts performed in front of a live audience. This quality nicely augments the surreal stunts that happen on stage, and gives the emotional elements a heartfelt feel. Overall, all the unique parts of tone are well balanced throughout, creating something memorable. <br> <br> 1424 1425 ORIGINALITY (4) <br> 1426 Originality is the narrativeâs strongest element. The premise itself, with a strange, emotionally crippled young man summoning rain, draws little comparison. An odd but relatable loner engaging in a wildly unconventional act recalls âLars and the Real Girl,â while an emotionally crippled man living out his past traumas through a relationship with an inanimate object is much like âHer.â The comical surrealism can be compared in small part to various Wes Anderson films. However, very little of âOn the Cuspâ can be called derivative or more than vaguely similar to any of these films. The mix of eccentric characters, including Kevinâs coke snorting, business obsessed and reckless twin brother Josh, and animated tow trucking driving sister Jamie, creates a memorable dynamic. Villain hotel owner Mr. Mensche and prostitute love interest Genevieve are a bit more traditional, but their orbit around strange but emotional Kevin keeps them from feeling like stock characters. The tone, which strikes a balance between absurd, retro, and starkly sad, also adds to the uniqueness of the narrative. The various settings, with an ugly yet dreamy auto wreckage yard, and the raucous, circus-like hotel stage, also contain the diversity that makes the narrative unique. <br> <br> 1427 1428 LOGIC (3) <br> 1429 The surreal quality thatâs established early on makes plenty of the otherwise illogical events feel sensible, but a few key questions cause some confusion. Kevinâs dance is made possible by the slight Mensche of the bizarre that opens and continues through the narrative. At several points, there are logical explanations as to how the rain will come, as various dances occur (33.7, 44). The doctor trains Kevin (27), issues warnings as Kevin gets sicker (56), and Josh bleeds upon his attempt to perform a risky dance move (84), creating realistic consequences for such a feat. The only significant issue with logic is the understanding of Kevinâs motherâs accident. Through his flashbacks (35-36, 88.9) it seems that Kevin was with his mother but whether these moments had anything to do with the accident remain unclear. He finds her body on the grounds of the farm (74, 92.3), but how her body ended up there rather than at the site of the accident is also confusing. This begs the question of what kind of âaccidentâ she died in, whether it was on the road, or something else. Her unhappiness with her life is clarified late, when Kevin tells his father he knows why she left the family (97), suggesting that she perhaps was in a fragile state of mind. The general vagueness that the subject is approached creates mystery at the beginning, but without being completely clarified by the end, itâs difficult to understand exactly what happened. Clearing this up through a lengthier flashback, or the confrontation between Kevin and Josh, might be a simple way to add more meaning to Kevinâs transformation, showing the precise nature of the trauma heâs had to overcome. <br> <br> 1430 1431 CRAFT (3) <br> 1432 The narrative demonstrates a lyrical and visual prose that effectively sets the tone while keeping language economical. Action and descriptions are equally impressive (1.3, 2.3, 2.9, 4.7, 7.6, 35, 36.7, 49.9, 66.2, 73), and are especially memorable in flashback sequences. However, several formatting errors are repeated throughout, slowing reading flow. These include a missing introduction and age for Kevin (2.1), a missing âV.O.â for âon the radioâ (10-11, 15), an unnecessary passage of time included in scene heading (12.1, 19.3, 89.6, 98.4), specific hours unnecessarily included (29.7, 31-33, 47.1, 51.2, 72.3, 90.9), and a âsix months laterâ that might be better displayed via title card (49.8). Often times, âcontinuousâ is unnecessarily used (25.8, 75.9, 78.1, 78.3, 79.1, 80.8, 99.5) when action jumps from one character and location to another. Thereâs an instance of an awkward sentence (13.8), and various partial sentences that also feel awkward (13.8, 14.6, 27.4, 39.8, 45.3, 59.6, 60.2, 73.7, 76.7, 77.3, 78.6, 79.1, 80.1). A montage that starts (31.2) doesnât come to a definitive end, and many dialogue titles include direction (30-35, 39.8, 40.8, 41, 47.5, 47.9, 64, 68, 74, 81). For the most part, spelling and grammar are free of errors, with the exception of âyourâ instead of âyouâreâ (13.7), âbotherâ instead of âbrotherâ (65.9), and âdisbelieftâ instead of âdisbeliefâ (96.3). 1433 </div> 1434 </div> 1435 1436 </section> 1437 <!-- end of for left --> 1438 </section> 1439 <!-- end of whole body --> 1440 </main> 1441 </div> 1442 1443 </div><!-- /.modal-content --> 1444 </div><!-- /.modal-dialog --> 1445</div><!-- /.modal --></div>
1445 </div> 1446 </div> 1447 </div> 1448 1449 <div class="ablock-footer"><div><div></div></div></div> 1450</div> 1451<!-- END WIDGET 3336 --><!-- START WIDGET 3337 --> 1452<div class=" ablock a-widget wid-3337 no-title"> 1453 1454 1455 <div class="ablock-content"> 1456 <div> 1457 <div> 1458 1459<div class=""> 1460 <header class="sswBack "> 1461 <div class='sswWrap clearfix'> 1462 1463 <div class="sswLeft"> 1464 <ul class="sswUL"> 1465 <li class=""> 1466 <span class="sswLI1">© 1467 <span class="sswYear"><!-- append with js --></span> 1468 SpecScout Inc,</span> <a href="https://www.slated.com/" target="_blank">A Slated Company</a> 1469 </li> 1470 <li class=""><a href="/terms-of-service">Terms of Service</a></li> 1471 <li class=""><a href="/privacy-policy">Privacy Policy</a></li> 1472 <li class=""><a href="/submission-agreement">Submission Agreement</a></li> 1473 <li class=" "><a href="/copyright-notice">Copyright Notice</a></li> 1474 1475 <li class="">Back To Top</li> 1476 </ul> 1477 </div><!-- 1478 1479--><div class='sswRight'> 1480 <ul class="sswUL"> 1481 <li class=''><a href="//facebook.com/specscout" class="hintTip" data-hintTip="Spec Scout" ><i class="fa fa-facebook"></i></a></li> 1482 <li class=''><a href="//twitter.com/specscout" class="hintTip" data-hintTip="@SpecScout" ><i class="fa fa-twitter"></i></a></li> 1483 <li class=''><a href="tel:13109541456" class="hintTip" data-hintTip="310-954-1456" ><i class="fa fa-phone"></i></a></li> 1484 <li class=''><a href="mailto:[email protected]" class="hintTip" data-hintTip="[email protected]" ><i class="fa fa-envelope"></i></a></li> 1485 </ul> 1486 </div> 1487 </div> 1488</header> 1489 1490 1491 1492<!--datfoot --> 1493 1494
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1500</div> </div> 1501 </div> 1502 </div> 1503 1504 <div class="ablock-footer"><div><div></div></div></div> 1505</div> 1506<!-- END WIDGET 3337 --> </div> 1507 </div> 1508 </div> 1509 1510 <div class="ablock-footer"><div><div></div></div></div> 1511</div> 1512<!-- END BLOCK 2019 --></div></div></section></div>
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