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728 NEW YORK, NY - Speaking at the UN this week, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney clarified their Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID) program, explainin... 729 </div> 730 </div> 731</a> </div> 732 </div> 733 <div class="order-1 md:order-2 md:col-span-8 lg:col-span-6 md:px-4"> 734 <a href="/news/ms-rachel-announces-herbie-the-puppet-has-joined-hamas-as-a-child-soldier" class="group"> 735 <div class="hidden md:block pb-2 bee-primary-featured-title-lg md:group-hover:underline text-center -mt-1 px-6"> 736 Ms. Rachel Announces Herbie The Puppet Has Joined Hamas As A Child Soldier 737 </div> 738 <div class="md:hidden pb-2 text-center bee-title-lg md:group-hover:underline -mt-1 px-6"> 739 Ms. Rachel Announces Herbie The Puppet Has Joined Hamas As A Child Soldier 740 </div> 741 742 743 <img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/6ab4034f088946ab4034f08895.jpg" class="article-image" alt="Article Header Image"> 744 745 <div> 746 <span class="text-categories">Celebs</span> · <span class="text-dates">Sep 23, 2026</span> 747 · <span class="text-xs"><i class="far fa-comment"></i> 84</span> 748 </div> 749 750 <hr class="mt-1 w-32 border-primary-orange"> 751 <div class="pt-2 text-xs"> 752 NEW YORK, NY - In a very special new episode of her popular YouTube children's program, content creator Ms. Rachel announced that her beloved sidekick... 753 </div> 754 </a> 755 <div class="pt-3 pb-6"><hr class="border-gray-300"></div> 756 <div class="block md:hidden"> 757 <a href="/news/10-amazing-heavenly-rewards-youll-get-when-people-persecute-you-for-jesus" class="group "> 758 <img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/6ab43e213d7c86ab43e213d7c9.jpg" class="object-contain rounded" alt="Article Header Image"> 759 <div> 760 <span class="text-categories">Sponsored</span> 761 · <span class="text-dates">Sep 23, 2026</span> 762 · <span class="text-xs"><i class="far fa-comment"></i> 72</span> 763 </div> 764 <div id="articleTitle-21309" class="bee-title-sm md:group-hover:underline " > 765 10 Amazing Heavenly Rewards You'll Get When People Persecute You For Jesus 766 </div> 767 768 <div class=" 769 "> 770 <hr class="mt-2 w-32 border-primary-orange"> 771 <div class="pt-2 text-xs"> 772 The Bible tells us that when you're a Christian, things can get pretty rough - especially in countries other than the United States. Thankfully, there... 773 </div> 774 </div> 775</a> <div class="pt-3 pb-6"><hr class="border-gray-300"></div> 776 </div> 777 <div class="hidden md:block my-4 md:my-0"> 778 <a href="/news/10-amazing-heavenly-rewards-youll-get-when-people-persecute-you-for-jesus" class="group"> 779 <div class="block lg:flex gap-2 lg:items-start items-center"> 780 <div class="w-full lg:w-2/3"> 781 <div class="-mt-3"> 782 <span class="text-categories">Sponsored</span> · <span class="text-dates">Sep 23, 2026</span> 783 · <span class="text-xs"><i class="far fa-comment"></i> 72</span> 784 </div> 785 <div class="pb-2 bee-title md:group-hover:underline "> 786 10 Amazing Heavenly Rewards You'll Get When People Persecute You For Jesus 787 </div> 788 <hr class="w-32 border-primary-orange mb-2"> 789 790 </div> 791 <div class="w-full lg:w-1/3"> 792 <img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/6ab43e213d7c86ab43e213d7c9.jpg" class="article-image mb-2 " alt="Article Header Image"> 793 </div> 794 </div> 795 <div class="mt-2 md:mt-0 lg:py-0 text-xs"> 796 The Bible tells us that when you're a Christian, things can get pretty rough - especially in countries other than the United States. Thankfully, there... 797 </div> 798 </a> 799 </div> 800 </div> 801 <div class="order-3 hidden lg:block lg:col-span-3 lg:pl-4"> 802 803 <div class="hidden lg:block"> 804 <a href="/news/canada-clarifies-that-by-assisted-suicide-they-mean-totally-unsolicited-murder" class="group "> 805 <img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/6ab3f60d9ab916ab3f60d9ab92.jpg" class="object-contain rounded" alt="Article Header Image"> 806 <div>
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988 Local Man Pretty Holy Until Children Wake Up 989 </div> 990 <div class="leading-4 mt-0" style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 1; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden;"> 991 <span class="text-categories">Christian Living</span> · <span class="text-dates">Sep 22, 2026</span> 992 · <span class="text-xs"><i class="far fa-comment"></i> 61</span> 993 </div> 994 </div> 995</a> </div> 996 997 <div class="pt-3 pb-6"> 998 <hr class="border-gray-300"> 999</div> 1000 <div class="flex items-center justify-between mb-3 mt-1"> 1001 <div class="-mt-1"> 1002 <h2 class="section-header mx-auto">Buzzing</h2> 1003 <hr class="border-primary-orange w-4/5"> 1004 </div> 1005 1006 <a class="btn-white btn-sm-with-border" href="/buzzing" aria-label="View all buzzing articles">View All</a> 1007 </div> 1008 <div class="grid gap-3 sm:grid-cols-2 lg:grid-cols-3 xl:grid-cols-4 "> 1009 <a href="/news/muslims-say-its-unfair-to-judge-their-entire-religion-based-on-the-actions-of-several-million" class="group "> 1010 <img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/6ab2af07ed21d6ab2af07ed21e.jpg" class="object-contain rounded" alt="Article Header Image"> 1011 <div> 1012 <span class="text-categories">Religion</span> 1013 · <span class="text-dates">Sep 22, 2026</span> 1014 · <span class="text-xs"><i class="far fa-comment"></i> 110</span> 1015 </div> 1016 <div id="articleTitle-21292" class="bee-title-sm md:group-hover:underline " style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 5; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden; word-break: break-word !important;" > 1017 Muslims Say It's Unfair To Judge Their Entire Religion Based On The Actions Of Several Million 1018 </div> 1019 1020 <div class=" 1021 "> 1022 <hr class="mt-2 w-32 border-primary-orange"> 1023 <div class="pt-2 text-xs"> 1024 WORLD - The international Muslim community issued a collective statement this week explaining that it would be unfair to judge their religion based on... 1025 </div> 1026 </div> 1027</a> <a href="/news/the-babylon-bee-has-obtained-the-fall-lineup-for-trump-tv" class="group "> 1028 <img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/6ab2d917e715c6ab2d917e715d.jpg" class="object-contain rounded" alt="Article Header Image"> 1029 <div> 1030 <span class="text-categories">Media</span> 1031 · <span class="text-dates">Sep 22, 2026</span> 1032 · <span class="text-xs"><i class="far fa-comment"></i> 81</span> 1033 </div> 1034 <div id="articleTitle-21291" class="bee-title-sm md:group-hover:underline " style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 5; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden; word-break: break-word !important;" > 1035 'The Babylon Bee' Has Obtained The Fall Lineup For Trump TV 1036 </div> 1037 1038 <div class=" 1039 "> 1040 <hr class="mt-2 w-32 border-primary-orange"> 1041 <div class="pt-2 text-xs"> 1042 Move over, legacy media! The White House has officially unveiled the all-new TRUMP TV channel, featuring an incredible slate of original programming f... 1043 </div> 1044 </div> 1045</a> <a href="/news/cnn-sues-trump-for-violating-its-first-amendment-right-to-fabricate-news" class="group "> 1046 <img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/6ab16247471cc6ab16247471cd.jpg" class="object-contain rounded" alt="Article Header Image"> 1047 <div> 1048 <span class="text-categories">Media</span> 1049 · <span class="text-dates">Sep 21, 2026</span> 1050 · <span class="text-xs"><i class="far fa-comment"></i> 61</span> 1051 </div> 1052 <div id="articleTitle-21284" class="bee-title-sm md:group-hover:underline " style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 5; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden; word-break: break-word !important;" > 1053 CNN Sues Trump For Violating Its First Amendment Right To Fabricate News 1054 </div> 1055 1056 <div class=" 1057 "> 1058 <hr class="mt-2 w-32 border-primary-orange"> 1059 <div class="pt-2 text-xs"> 1060 WASHINGTON, D.C. - In the latest wave of legal turmoil enveloping the nation's capital, cable network CNN sued the Trump administration for allegedly ... 1061 </div> 1062 </div> 1063</a> <a href="/news/anton-chigurh-lands-new-job-performing-assisted-suicides-in-canada" class="group block lg:hidden xl:block "> 1064 <img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/6ab2f83538b326ab2f83538b33.jpg" class="object-contain rounded" alt="Article Header Image"> 1065 <div>
1066 <span class="text-categories">World</span> 1067 · <span class="text-dates">Sep 22, 2026</span> 1068 · <span class="text-xs"><i class="far fa-comment"></i> 66</span> 1069 </div> 1070 <div id="articleTitle-21297" class="bee-title-sm md:group-hover:underline " style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 5; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden; word-break: break-word !important;" > 1071 Anton Chigurh Lands New Job Performing Assisted Suicides In Canada 1072 </div> 1073 1074 <div class=" 1075 "> 1076 <hr class="mt-2 w-32 border-primary-orange"> 1077 <div class="pt-2 text-xs"> 1078 OTTAWA - Famed hitman and coin-flipping enthusiast Anton Chigurh announced this week that he had been hired by the Canadian government to help out wit... 1079 </div> 1080 </div> 1081</a> </div> 1082 1083 1084 <div class="pt-3 pb-6"><hr class="border-gray-300"></div> 1085 1086 <div class="flex items-center justify-between mb-3 mt-1"> 1087 <div class="-mt-1"> 1088 <h2 class="section-header mx-auto">Must Read</h2> 1089 <hr class="border-primary-orange w-4/5"> 1090 </div> 1091 </div> 1092 <div class="grid gap-3 sm:grid-cols-2 lg:grid-cols-3 xl:grid-cols-4 "> 1093 <a href="/news/noahs-wife-again-catches-him-trying-to-huck-the-cats-overboard" class="group "> 1094 <img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/6ab178017d5dd6ab178017d5de.jpg" class="object-contain rounded" alt="Article Header Image"> 1095 <div> 1096 <span class="text-categories">Scripture</span> 1097 · <span class="text-dates">Sep 21, 2026</span> 1098 · <span class="text-xs"><i class="far fa-comment"></i> 97</span> 1099 </div> 1100 <div id="articleTitle-21283" class="bee-title-sm md:group-hover:underline " style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 5; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden; word-break: break-word !important;" > 1101 Noah's Wife Again Catches Him Trying To Huck The Cats Overboard 1102 </div> 1103 1104 <div class=" 1105 "> 1106 <hr class="mt-2 w-32 border-primary-orange"> 1107 <div class="pt-2 text-xs"> 1108 EARTH - Noah's wife came up topside on the ark this morning to dry out laundry, only to catch Noah once again trying to huck the cats overboard. 1109 </div> 1110 </div> 1111</a> <a href="/news/amazon-to-begin-updating-california-customers-once-packages-have-been-stolen" class="group "> 1112 <img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/6ab2c175554236ab2c17555424.jpg" class="object-contain rounded" alt="Article Header Image"> 1113 <div> 1114 <span class="text-categories">Business</span> 1115 · <span class="text-dates">Sep 22, 2026</span> 1116 · <span class="text-xs"><i class="far fa-comment"></i> 63</span> 1117 </div> 1118 <div id="articleTitle-21290" class="bee-title-sm md:group-hover:underline " style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 5; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden; word-break: break-word !important;" > 1119 Amazon To Begin Updating California Customers Once Packages Have Been Stolen 1120 </div> 1121 1122 <div class=" 1123 "> 1124 <hr class="mt-2 w-32 border-primary-orange"> 1125 <div class="pt-2 text-xs"> 1126 SEATTLE, WA - Amazon announced an update to its package tracking system that would helpfully inform California customers when their package had reache... 1127 </div> 1128 </div> 1129</a> <a href="/news/data-center-disguises-itself-as-abortion-clinic-to-win-support-from-liberals" class="group "> 1130 <img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/6ab171848de6c6ab171848de6d.jpg" class="object-contain rounded" alt="Article Header Image"> 1131 <div> 1132 <span class="text-categories">U.S.</span> 1133 · <span class="text-dates">Sep 21, 2026</span> 1134 · <span class="text-xs"><i class="far fa-comment"></i> 43</span> 1135 </div> 1136 <div id="articleTitle-21285" class="bee-title-sm md:group-hover:underline " style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 5; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden; word-break: break-word !important;" > 1137 Data Center Disguises Itself As Abortion Clinic To Win Support From Liberals 1138 </div> 1139 1140 <div class=" 1141 "> 1142 <hr class="mt-2 w-32 border-primary-orange"> 1143 <div class="pt-2 text-xs"> 1144 ASHBURN, VA - A local data center situated just outside of town, in what is commonly called "Data Center Alley," reportedly disguised itself as an abo... 1145 </div> 1146 </div> 1147</a> <a href="/news/trump-revokes-grima-wormtongues-press-credentials" class="group block lg:hidden xl:block "> 1148 <img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/6ab183258c03f6ab183258c040.jpg" class="object-contain rounded" alt="Article Header Image"> 1149 <div>
1150 <span class="text-categories">Media</span> 1151 · <span class="text-dates">Sep 21, 2026</span> 1152 · <span class="text-xs"><i class="far fa-comment"></i> 52</span> 1153 </div> 1154 <div id="articleTitle-21287" class="bee-title-sm md:group-hover:underline " style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 5; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden; word-break: break-word !important;" > 1155 Trump Revokes Grima Wormtongue’s Press Credentials 1156 </div> 1157 1158 <div class=" 1159 "> 1160 <hr class="mt-2 w-32 border-primary-orange"> 1161 <div class="pt-2 text-xs"> 1162 WASHINGTON, D.C. - In the latest escalation of his administration's ongoing feud with the mainstream media, President Donald Trump announced on Monday... 1163 </div> 1164 </div> 1165</a> </div> 1166 1167 <div class="pt-3 pb-6"> 1168 <hr class="border-gray-300"> 1169</div> 1170 <div class="flex items-center justify-between mb-3 mt-1"> 1171 <div class="-mt-1"> 1172 <h2 class="section-header mx-auto">Don't Miss</h2> 1173 <hr class="border-primary-orange w-4/5"> 1174 </div> 1175 </div> 1176 <div class="block lg:flex lg:space-x-3"> 1177 <div class="w-full lg:w-1/3 mb-3 sm:mb-0"> 1178 <a href="/news/pete-buttigieg-says-everyone-worried-about-gas-prices-should-just-get-six-figure-government-job-with-free-car-service-and-unlimited-parental-leave" class="group "> 1179 <img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/article-10666-1.jpg" class="object-contain rounded" alt="Article Header Image"> 1180 <div> 1181 <span class="text-categories">Politics</span> 1182 · <span class="text-dates">Mar 8, 2022</span> 1183 · <span class="text-xs"><i class="far fa-comment"></i> 110</span> 1184 </div> 1185 <div id="articleTitle-10666" class="bee-title-sm md:group-hover:underline " style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 5; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden; word-break: break-word !important;" > 1186 Pete Buttigieg Says Everyone Worried About Gas Prices Should Just Get Six-Figure Government Job With Free Car Service And Unlimited Parental Leave 1187 </div> 1188 1189 <div class=" 1190 "> 1191 <hr class="mt-2 w-32 border-primary-orange"> 1192 <div class="pt-2 text-xs"> 1193 WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a speech to inspire and encourage Americans facing record-high prices at the pump, Transportation Secretary Puttigieg encouraged... 1194 </div> 1195 </div> 1196</a> </div> 1197 <div class="w-full lg:w-2/3"> 1198 <div class="grid gap-3 grid-cols-1 md:grid-cols-2"> 1199 <a href="/news/top-10-christmas-gift-ideas-for-the-joe-biden-fan-in-your-life" class="flex space-x-2 group" > 1200 <div class="w-5/12"> 1201 <img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/637be797aae0c637be797aae0d.jpg" class="object-contain rounded" alt="Article Header Image"> 1202 </div> 1203 1204 <div class="w-7/12"> 1205 <div class="bee-title-xs-base md:group-hover:underline " style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 4; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden; word-break: break-word !important;" > 1206 Top 10 Christmas Gift Ideas For The Joe Biden Fan In Your Life 1207 </div> 1208 <div class="leading-4 mt-0" style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 1; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden;"> 1209 <span class="text-categories">Sponsored</span> · <span class="text-dates">Nov 21, 2022</span> 1210 · <span class="text-xs"><i class="far fa-comment"></i> 86</span> 1211 </div> 1212 </div> 1213</a> <a href="/news/church-sends-out-missionary-team-to-remote-tribe-that-has-never-heard-switchfoot" class="flex space-x-2 group" > 1214 <div class="w-5/12"> 1215 <img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/6a95ee8e4c91d6a95ee8e4c91e.jpg" class="object-contain rounded" alt="Article Header Image"> 1216 </div> 1217 1218 <div class="w-7/12"> 1219 <div class="bee-title-xs-base md:group-hover:underline " style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 4; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden; word-break: break-word !important;" > 1220 Church Sends Out Missionary Team To Remote Tribe That Has Never Heard Switchfoot 1221 </div> 1222 <div class="leading-4 mt-0" style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 1; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden;">
1223 <span class="text-categories">Church</span> · <span class="text-dates">Aug 31, 2026</span> 1224 · <span class="text-xs"><i class="far fa-comment"></i> 74</span> 1225 </div> 1226 </div> 1227</a> <a href="/news/here-are-some-ways-for-you-filthy-peasants-to-stay-warm-this-winter" class="flex space-x-2 group" > 1228 <div class="w-5/12"> 1229 <img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/article-8041-1.jpg" class="object-contain rounded" alt="Article Header Image"> 1230 </div> 1231 1232 <div class="w-7/12"> 1233 <div class="bee-title-xs-base md:group-hover:underline " style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 4; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden; word-break: break-word !important;" > 1234 12 Environmentally Safe Ways For You Peasants To Stay Warm This Winter 1235 </div> 1236 <div class="leading-4 mt-0" style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 1; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden;"> 1237 <span class="text-categories">The Babylon Bee</span> · <span class="text-dates">Feb 19, 2021</span> 1238 · <span class="text-xs"><i class="far fa-comment"></i> 88</span> 1239 </div> 1240 </div> 1241</a> <a href="/news/state-farm-now-offering-optional-car-torched-by-psychotic-purple-haired-weirdo-coverage" class="flex space-x-2 group" > 1242 <div class="w-5/12"> 1243 <img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/67e45c49eefc267e45c49eefc4.jpg" class="object-contain rounded" alt="Article Header Image"> 1244 </div> 1245 1246 <div class="w-7/12"> 1247 <div class="bee-title-xs-base md:group-hover:underline " style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 4; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden; word-break: break-word !important;" > 1248 State Farm Now Offering Optional ‘Car Torched By Psychotic Purple-Haired Weirdo’ Coverage 1249 </div> 1250 <div class="leading-4 mt-0" style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 1; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden;"> 1251 <span class="text-categories">Life</span> · <span class="text-dates">Mar 26, 2025</span> 1252 · <span class="text-xs"><i class="far fa-comment"></i> 70</span> 1253 </div> 1254 </div> 1255</a> <a href="/news/9-signs-trump-is-obviously-going-to-win-the-election" class="flex space-x-2 group" > 1256 <div class="w-5/12"> 1257 <img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/672412fa3495c672412fa3495d.jpg" class="object-contain rounded" alt="Article Header Image"> 1258 </div> 1259 1260 <div class="w-7/12"> 1261 <div class="bee-title-xs-base md:group-hover:underline " style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 4; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden; word-break: break-word !important;" > 1262 9 Signs Trump Is Obviously Going To Win The Election 1263 </div> 1264 <div class="leading-4 mt-0" style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 1; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden;"> 1265 <span class="text-categories">Politics</span> · <span class="text-dates">Oct 17, 2024</span> 1266 · <span class="text-xs"><i class="far fa-comment"></i> 84</span> 1267 </div> 1268 </div> 1269</a> <a href="/news/sermon-clearly-just-excuse-for-pastor-to-play-favorite-clip-from-lord-of-the-rings" class="flex space-x-2 group" > 1270 <div class="w-5/12"> 1271 <img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/article-8921-2.jpg" class="object-contain rounded" alt="Article Header Image"> 1272 </div> 1273 1274 <div class="w-7/12"> 1275 <div class="bee-title-xs-base md:group-hover:underline " style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 4; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden; word-break: break-word !important;" > 1276 Sermon Clearly Just Excuse For Pastor To Play Favorite Clip From Lord Of The Rings 1277 </div> 1278 <div class="leading-4 mt-0" style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 1; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden;"> 1279 <span class="text-categories">Church</span> · <span class="text-dates">Jun 26, 2021</span> 1280 · <span class="text-xs"><i class="far fa-comment"></i> 67</span> 1281 </div> 1282 </div> 1283</a> </div> 1284 </div> 1285 </div> 1286 1287 <div class="pt-3 pb-6"> 1288 <hr class="border-gray-300"> 1289</div> 1290 <div class="flex items-center justify-between mb-3 mt-1"> 1291 <div class="-mt-1"> 1292 <h2 class="section-header mx-auto">Premium Content</h2> 1293 <hr class="border-primary-orange w-4/5"> 1294 </div> 1295 1296 <a class="btn-white btn-sm-with-border" href="/news/categories/Premium" aria-label="View all premium content">View All</a> 1297 </div> 1298 <div class="grid gap-3 sm:grid-cols-2 lg:grid-cols-3 xl:grid-cols-4 "> 1299 <a href="/news/bonus-list-10-exciting-games-coming-to-trumps-new-arcade-site" class="group "> 1300 <img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/6ab2dfd4d9a806ab2dfd4d9a81.jpg" class="object-contain rounded" alt="Article Header Image"> 1301 <div>
1302 <span class="text-categories">Premium</span> 1303 · <span class="text-dates">Sep 22, 2026</span> 1304 · <span class="text-xs"><i class="far fa-comment"></i> 43</span> 1305 </div> 1306 <div id="articleTitle-21209" class="bee-title-sm md:group-hover:underline " style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 5; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden; word-break: break-word !important;" > 1307 Bonus List: 10 Exciting Games Coming To Trump's New Arcade Site 1308 </div> 1309 1310 <div class=" 1311 "> 1312 <hr class="mt-2 w-32 border-primary-orange"> 1313 <div class="pt-2 text-xs"> 1314 The White House has officially launched its own video game site, where users can play several classic games like Tetris and Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!. ... 1315 </div> 1316 </div> 1317</a> <a href="/news/25-years-later" class="group "> 1318 <img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/6aa4545d5ec716aa4545d5ec72.jpg" class="object-contain rounded" alt="Article Header Image"> 1319 <div> 1320 <span class="text-categories">Premium</span> 1321 · <span class="text-dates">Sep 11, 2026</span> 1322 · <span class="text-xs"><i class="far fa-comment"></i> 111</span> 1323 </div> 1324 <div id="articleTitle-21236" class="bee-title-sm md:group-hover:underline " style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 5; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden; word-break: break-word !important;" > 1325 25 Years Later... 1326 </div> 1327 1328 <div class=" 1329 "> 1330 <hr class="mt-2 w-32 border-primary-orange"> 1331 <div class="pt-2 text-xs"> 1332 Today is an emotional day for a lot of us. It marks the anniversary of the day the largest terrorist attack on American soil was carried out, taking t... 1333 </div> 1334 </div> 1335</a> <a href="/news/happy-labor-day-2026" class="group "> 1336 <img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/6a9ee4d5106606a9ee4d510661.jpg" class="object-contain rounded" alt="Article Header Image"> 1337 <div> 1338 <span class="text-categories">Premium</span> 1339 · <span class="text-dates">Sep 7, 2026</span> 1340 · <span class="text-xs"><i class="far fa-comment"></i> 92</span> 1341 </div> 1342 <div id="articleTitle-21201" class="bee-title-sm md:group-hover:underline " style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 5; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden; word-break: break-word !important;" > 1343 Happy Labor Day 2026! 1344 </div> 1345 1346 <div class=" 1347 "> 1348 <hr class="mt-2 w-32 border-primary-orange"> 1349 <div class="pt-2 text-xs"> 1350 Did you know that Labor Day became a federal holiday on June 28, 1894, after being signed into law by President Grover Cleveland? Well, now you do. 1351 </div> 1352 </div> 1353</a> <a href="/news/subscriber-sneak-pee-the-bees-new-project" class="group block lg:hidden xl:block "> 1354 <img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/6a95c2cc826346a95c2cc82635.jpg" class="object-contain rounded" alt="Article Header Image"> 1355 <div> 1356 <span class="text-categories">Premium</span> 1357 · <span class="text-dates">Aug 31, 2026</span> 1358 · <span class="text-xs"><i class="far fa-comment"></i> 76</span> 1359 </div> 1360 <div id="articleTitle-21151" class="bee-title-sm md:group-hover:underline " style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 5; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden; word-break: break-word !important;" > 1361 Subscriber Sneak Peek: The Bee's New Project 1362 </div> 1363 1364 <div class=" 1365 "> 1366 <hr class="mt-2 w-32 border-primary-orange"> 1367 <div class="pt-2 text-xs"> 1368 Salutations, intrepid subscribers! 1369 </div> 1370 </div> 1371</a> </div> 1372 1373 <div class="pt-3 pb-6"> 1374 <hr class="border-gray-300"> 1375</div> 1376 <div class="flex items-center justify-between mb-3 mt-1"> 1377 <div class="-mt-1"> 1378 <h2 class="section-header mx-auto">Greatest Hits</h2> 1379 <hr class="border-primary-orange w-4/5"> 1380 </div> 1381 1382 <a class="btn-white btn-sm-with-border" href="/news?sort=greatest-hits" aria-label="View all greatest hits articles">View All</a> 1383 </div> 1384 <div class="grid gap-3 md:grid-cols-2 xl:grid-cols-3"> 1385 <a href="/news/kim-jong-un-attends-ivy-league-university-to-learn-new-brainwashing-techniques" class="flex space-x-2 group" > 1386 <div class="w-5/12"> 1387 <img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/article-8851-1.jpg" class="object-contain rounded" alt="Article Header Image"> 1388 </div> 1389 1390 <div class="w-7/12"> 1391 <div class="bee-title-xs-base md:group-hover:underline " style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 4; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden; word-break: break-word !important;" > 1392 Kim Jong Un Attends Ivy League University To Learn New Brainwashing Techniques 1393 </div> 1394 <div class="leading-4 mt-0" style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 1; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden;">
1395 <span class="text-categories">World</span> · <span class="text-dates">Jun 15, 2021</span> 1396 · <span class="text-xs"><i class="far fa-comment"></i> 144</span> 1397 </div> 1398 </div> 1399</a> <a href="/news/hobby-lobby-unveils-husband-daycare" class="flex space-x-2 group" > 1400 <div class="w-5/12"> 1401 <img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/article-4626-2.jpg" class="object-contain rounded" alt="Article Header Image"> 1402 </div> 1403 1404 <div class="w-7/12"> 1405 <div class="bee-title-xs-base md:group-hover:underline " style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 4; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden; word-break: break-word !important;" > 1406 Husband Daycare Now Available At All Hobby Lobby Locations 1407 </div> 1408 <div class="leading-4 mt-0" style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 1; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden;"> 1409 <span class="text-categories">Christian Living</span> · <span class="text-dates">Aug 7, 2019</span> 1410 · <span class="text-xs"><i class="far fa-comment"></i> 27</span> 1411 </div> 1412 </div> 1413</a> <a href="/news/biden-cuts-holes-in-medical-mask-so-he-can-still-sniff-people" class="flex space-x-2 group" > 1414 <div class="w-5/12"> 1415 <img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/article-5930-1.jpg" class="object-contain rounded" alt="Article Header Image"> 1416 </div> 1417 1418 <div class="w-7/12"> 1419 <div class="bee-title-xs-base md:group-hover:underline " style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 4; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden; word-break: break-word !important;" > 1420 Biden Cuts Hole In Mask So He Can Still Sniff People's Hair 1421 </div> 1422 <div class="leading-4 mt-0" style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 1; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden;"> 1423 <span class="text-categories">Politics</span> · <span class="text-dates">Apr 9, 2020</span> 1424 · <span class="text-xs"><i class="far fa-comment"></i> 28</span> 1425 </div> 1426 </div> 1427</a> <a href="/news/10-most-controversial-things-you-can-finally-say-on-twitter-now" class="flex space-x-2 group" > 1428 <div class="w-5/12"> 1429 <img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/635ef208a2fd3635ef208a2fd4.jpg" class="object-contain rounded" alt="Article Header Image"> 1430 </div> 1431 1432 <div class="w-7/12"> 1433 <div class="bee-title-xs-base md:group-hover:underline " style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 4; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden; word-break: break-word !important;" > 1434 10 Most Controversial Things You Can Finally Say On Twitter 1435 </div> 1436 <div class="leading-4 mt-0" style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 1; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden;"> 1437 <span class="text-categories">Internet</span> · <span class="text-dates">Oct 30, 2022</span> 1438 · <span class="text-xs"><i class="far fa-comment"></i> 238</span> 1439 </div> 1440 </div> 1441</a> <a href="/news/democrats-warn-that-american-people-may-tamper-with-next-election" class="flex space-x-2 group" > 1442 <div class="w-5/12"> 1443 <img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/article-5461-1.jpg" class="object-contain rounded" alt="Article Header Image"> 1444 </div> 1445 1446 <div class="w-7/12"> 1447 <div class="bee-title-xs-base md:group-hover:underline " style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 4; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden; word-break: break-word !important;" > 1448 Democrats Warn That American People May Tamper With Next Election 1449 </div> 1450 <div class="leading-4 mt-0" style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 1; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden;"> 1451 <span class="text-categories">Politics</span> · <span class="text-dates">Jan 23, 2020</span> 1452 · <span class="text-xs"><i class="far fa-comment"></i> 15</span> 1453 </div> 1454 </div> 1455</a> <a href="/news/wives-8-subtle-signs-your-husband-is-in-the-mood" class="flex space-x-2 group" > 1456 <div class="w-5/12"> 1457 <img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/66be6cee0c74a66be6cee0c74b.jpg" class="object-contain rounded" alt="Article Header Image"> 1458 </div> 1459 1460 <div class="w-7/12"> 1461 <div class="bee-title-xs-base md:group-hover:underline " style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 4; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden; word-break: break-word !important;" > 1462 Wives: 13 Subtle Signs Your Husband Is 'In The Mood' 1463 </div> 1464 <div class="leading-4 mt-0" style="display: -webkit-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 1; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; overflow: hidden;">
1465 <span class="text-categories">Life</span> · <span class="text-dates">Aug 15, 2024</span> 1466 · <span class="text-xs"><i class="far fa-comment"></i> 163</span> 1467 </div> 1468 </div> 1469</a> </div> 1470 1471 <div class="pt-3 pb-6"> 1472 <hr class="border-gray-300"> 1473</div> <div class="-mt-1 mb-2"> 1474 <div class="section-header w-28"> 1475 All News 1476 <hr class="border-primary-orange w-4/5"> 1477 </div> 1478 1479 </div> 1480 <div class="grid gap-5 mx-auto max-w-2xl lg:max-w-none lg:grid-cols-3"> 1481 1482 <article-card 1483 :article="{"id":21288,"unique_id":"ad5e","title":"RFK Jr. Teams Up With Starbucks To Introduce New Beef Tallow Spice Frappuccino","slug":"rfk-jr-teams-up-with-starbucks-to-introduce-new-beef-tallow-spice-frappuccino","body":"<p>WASHINGTON, D.C. \u2014 HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. announced on Monday that he was teaming up with Starbucks to create a bold new Beef Tallow Spice Frappuccino as a healthier fall option for consumers.<\/p><p>Starbucks announced the new Beef Tallow Spice Frappuccino would replace the classic Pumpkin Spice Frappuccino immediately in an effort to help customers avoid unnecessary sugar and maintain a healthy lifestyle.<\/p><p>\"Starbucks is one of the most successful coffee shops in the world, but the drinks are full of sugar \u2014 until now,\" Kennedy said before pulling a veil off a large piece of pasteboard, revealing a Starbucks cup full of beef tallow. \"Introducing the new Beef Tallow Spice Frappuccino. It'll wake you up, plus provide your body with crucial vitamins and rich fatty acids it needs. And it's delicious. If you like meat-flavored coffee.\"<\/p><p>According to Starbucks press materials, the Beef Tallow Spice Frappuccino is reportedly 2 parts water, 3 parts beef tallow, and all flavor. And just like any Starbucks drink, additional shots of espresso can be added for a boost to your morning.<\/p><p>\"Finally, Starbucks has a man's beverage,\" RFK Jr. said after taking a drink of thick Frappuccino. \"It's so thick, you can't use a straw. You have to drink it like a man.\"<\/p><p>At publishing time, following early success of the Beef Tallow Spice Frappuccino, Starbucks also announced a new beef tallow cake pop to its food menu.<\/p>","image_id":"6ab19a5429e946ab19a5429e95.jpg","user_id":1,"count_comments":72,"count_likes":0,"blog_id":null,"primary_category_id":20,"created_at":"2026-09-21T20:31:27.000000Z","updated_at":"2026-09-23T09:27:20.000000Z","published_on":"2026-09-21 17:12:18","edited_at":"2026-09-21T21:12:09.000000Z","premiere_at":null,"deleted_at":null,"is_cover_image_hidden":0,"photo_credit":null,"is_premium":0,"ready_for_review":0,"showing_latest_video":1,"is_premium_public":0,"headline_id":null,"image_version":0,"share_count":0,"share_count_updated_at":null,"is_video":0,"video_id":null,"hide_description":0,"hide_ads":0,"is_breaking_news":0,"editor_id":157522,"copy_writer_id":84248,"headline_writer_id":215709,"photoshopper_id":157522,"is_opinion":0,"published_to_instagram":null,"updated":0,"is_sports":0,"image_source":null,"is_evergreen":0,"image_description":null,"image_decorative":false,"path":"\/news\/rfk-jr-teams-up-with-starbucks-to-introduce-new-beef-tallow-spice-frappuccino","imagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/articles\/6ab19a5429e946ab19a5429e95.jpg","authorName":"BabylonBeeStaff","authorFullName":"Babylon Bee Staff","authorPath":"\/articles\/BabylonBeeStaff","authorTakePath":"\/authorTakes\/BabylonBeeStaff","authorImagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/avatars\/Avatar-62bb5663294fd.jpg","publishedOnPretty":"Sep 21st, 2026 5:12 pm","publishedOnPrettyMobile":"Sep 21st","gridImagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/thumbs\/6ab19a5429e946ab19a5429e95.jpg","hasComments":true,"commentCount":72,"cachedCategories":[{"id":20,"title":"Politics","slug":"politics","path":"\/news\/categories\/politics","articleCount":"4711","pivot":{"article_id":21288,"category_id":20}}],"commentPath":"\/news\/rfk-jr-teams-up-with-starbucks-to-introduce-new-beef-tallow-spice-frappuccino\/comments","description":"WASHINGTON, D.C. \u2014 HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. announced on Monday that he was teaming up with Starbucks to create a bold new Beef Tallow Spice Frappuccino as a healthier fall option for consumers.","thumbnailPath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/thumbnails\/6ab19a5429e946ab19a5429e95.jpg","rawViews":19557,"parentCommentCount":"35","userBookmarks":"[51646]","shortDescription":"WASHINGTON, D.C. - HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. announced on Monday that he was teaming up with Starbucks to create a bold new Beef Tallow Spic...","primaryCategory":"Politics","publishedOnDate":"Sep 21, 2026","primaryCategoryPath":"\/news\/categories\/politics","isPrimaryFeatured":false,"isSecondary":false,"isTertiary":false,"featuredSpot":"0","hasImage":true}" 1484 :categories="[{"id":20,"title":"Politics","slug":"politics","path":"\/news\/categories\/politics","articleCount":"4711","pivot":{"article_id":21288,"category_id":20}}]" 1485 :is_bee="true" 1486 :is_video="false"> 1487 </article-card> 1488 <article-card 1489 :article="{"id":21286,"unique_id":"3b22","title":"Tragedy As Ed Sheeran Controversy Forces Millions To Listen To Ed Sheeran","slug":"tragedy-as-ed-sheeran-controversy-forces-millions-to-listen-to-ed-sheeran","body":"<p>WORLD \u2014 In the wake of the controversy swirling around musician Ed Sheeran, millions of people across the globe were tragically reported to have been forced to listen to Ed Sheeran.<\/p><p>Sheeran found himself in the middle of a raging public relations battle this week over whether Jewish people who own concert venues can decide not to host artists who want to murder Jews. Sadly, the resulting outcry led to people being compelled against their will to hear Ed Sheeran sing.<\/p><p>\"The effect has been devastating,\" said Fox News international correspondent Faye Rogers. \"Poor, innocent civilians around the world are being made to listen to Ed Sheeran. Never have the consequences of the fighting in Gaza been more severe. There must be a lasting peace, for the sake of us all.\"<\/p><p>Humanitarian organizations reported being overwhelmed by the sheer number of people seeking shelter from Sheeran's music, with emergency workers distributing earplugs and noise-canceling headphones to affected populations.<\/p><p>\"We are begging everyone to stop talking about Ed Sheeran,\" said U.N. Secretary-General Ant\u00f3nio Guterres. \"No war is worth this. We call on all of humanity to stop posting videos about Ed Sheeran. This cycle of torture must end.\"<\/p><p>At publishing time, Israel and Hamas had agreed to an immediate ceasefire after learning Ed Sheeran was planning to release a song about the conflict.<\/p>","image_id":"6ab16a62704966ab16a6270497.jpg","user_id":1,"count_comments":69,"count_likes":0,"blog_id":null,"primary_category_id":2,"created_at":"2026-09-21T16:57:00.000000Z","updated_at":"2026-09-23T00:08:49.000000Z","published_on":"2026-09-21 13:37:07","edited_at":"2026-09-21T17:35:59.000000Z","premiere_at":null,"deleted_at":null,"is_cover_image_hidden":0,"photo_credit":"Fred Duval \/ Shutterstock","is_premium":0,"ready_for_review":0,"showing_latest_video":1,"is_premium_public":0,"headline_id":null,"image_version":0,"share_count":0,"share_count_updated_at":null,"is_video":0,"video_id":null,"hide_description":0,"hide_ads":0,"is_breaking_news":0,"editor_id":157522,"copy_writer_id":38775,"headline_writer_id":38775,"photoshopper_id":157522,"is_opinion":0,"published_to_instagram":null,"updated":0,"is_sports":0,"image_source":null,"is_evergreen":0,"image_description":null,"image_decorative":false,"path":"\/news\/tragedy-as-ed-sheeran-controversy-forces-millions-to-listen-to-ed-sheeran","imagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/articles\/6ab16a62704966ab16a6270497.jpg","authorName":"BabylonBeeStaff","authorFullName":"Babylon Bee Staff","authorPath":"\/articles\/BabylonBeeStaff","authorTakePath":"\/authorTakes\/BabylonBeeStaff","authorImagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/avatars\/Avatar-62bb5663294fd.jpg","publishedOnPretty":"Sep 21st, 2026 1:37 pm","publishedOnPrettyMobile":"Sep 21st","gridImagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/thumbs\/6ab16a62704966ab16a6270497.jpg","hasComments":true,"commentCount":69,"cachedCategories":[{"id":2,"title":"Celebs","slug":"celebs","path":"\/news\/categories\/celebs","articleCount":"791","pivot":{"article_id":21286,"category_id":2}}],"commentPath":"\/news\/tragedy-as-ed-sheeran-controversy-forces-millions-to-listen-to-ed-sheeran\/comments","description":"WORLD \u2014 In the wake of the controversy swirling around musician Ed Sheeran, millions of people across the globe were tragically reported to have been forced to listen to Ed Sheeran.","thumbnailPath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/thumbnails\/6ab16a62704966ab16a6270497.jpg","rawViews":19472,"parentCommentCount":"29","userBookmarks":"[63758]","shortDescription":"WORLD - In the wake of the controversy swirling around musician Ed Sheeran, millions of people across the globe were tragically reported to have been ...","primaryCategory":"Celebs","publishedOnDate":"Sep 21, 2026","primaryCategoryPath":"\/news\/categories\/celebs","isPrimaryFeatured":false,"isSecondary":false,"isTertiary":false,"featuredSpot":"0","hasImage":true}" 1490 :categories="[{"id":2,"title":"Celebs","slug":"celebs","path":"\/news\/categories\/celebs","articleCount":"791","pivot":{"article_id":21286,"category_id":2}}]" 1491 :is_bee="true" 1492 :is_video="false"> 1493 </article-card> 1494 <article-card 1495 :article="{"id":21282,"unique_id":"296e","title":"Man's Prayer Life Revitalized As His Teenage Kids Start Driving","slug":"mans-prayer-life-revitalized-as-his-teenage-kids-start-driving","body":"<p>PEORIA, IL \u2014 Local man Chandler Cooke reportedly saw his prayer life totally reinvigorated as his teenage kids started driving.<\/p><p>With Cooke's 16-year-old son learning to drive and his 15-year-old daughter hoping to get her permit soon,
1495Cooke found a renewed interest in crying out to the Lord Almighty.<\/p><p>\"I've never spoken to God so much in my life,\" said Cooke. \"It's jump-started lots of different talks with Jesus, like about not getting sued by the guy whose fence we just plowed through, and maybe helping that dog we just hit be okay. I didn't know what it meant in the Bible when it talks about 'praying without ceasing,' but I do now. Anyone in that passenger seat will discover the secret.\"<\/p><p>Cooke admitted that his prayer time had been hit-or-miss for the previous couple of years, but those days are now past. \"Every day, I'm preparing my soul to come face to face with God,\" explained Cooke. \"I've also begun to really live every day as if it's my last. I never, ever leave the house anymore without telling my wife that I love her. It's so important that those be the last words she hears from me.\"<\/p><p>At publishing time, Cooke's son had asked his dad not to scream his prayers quite so loudly while he was trying to concentrate on the road.<\/p>","image_id":"6ab166e242f426ab166e242f43.jpg","user_id":1,"count_comments":72,"count_likes":0,"blog_id":null,"primary_category_id":34,"created_at":"2026-09-21T14:23:31.000000Z","updated_at":"2026-09-23T02:16:23.000000Z","published_on":"2026-09-21 13:21:25","edited_at":"2026-09-21T17:21:11.000000Z","premiere_at":null,"deleted_at":null,"is_cover_image_hidden":0,"photo_credit":null,"is_premium":0,"ready_for_review":0,"showing_latest_video":1,"is_premium_public":0,"headline_id":676713,"image_version":0,"share_count":0,"share_count_updated_at":null,"is_video":0,"video_id":null,"hide_description":0,"hide_ads":0,"is_breaking_news":0,"editor_id":157522,"copy_writer_id":38775,"headline_writer_id":12,"photoshopper_id":157522,"is_opinion":0,"published_to_instagram":null,"updated":0,"is_sports":0,"image_source":null,"is_evergreen":0,"image_description":null,"image_decorative":false,"path":"\/news\/mans-prayer-life-revitalized-as-his-teenage-kids-start-driving","imagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/articles\/6ab166e242f426ab166e242f43.jpg","authorName":"BabylonBeeStaff","authorFullName":"Babylon Bee Staff","authorPath":"\/articles\/BabylonBeeStaff","authorTakePath":"\/authorTakes\/BabylonBeeStaff","authorImagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/avatars\/Avatar-62bb5663294fd.jpg","publishedOnPretty":"Sep 21st, 2026 1:21 pm","publishedOnPrettyMobile":"Sep 21st","gridImagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/thumbs\/6ab166e242f426ab166e242f43.jpg","hasComments":true,"commentCount":72,"cachedCategories":[{"id":34,"title":"Family","slug":"family","path":"\/news\/categories\/family","articleCount":"722","pivot":{"article_id":21282,"category_id":34}}],"commentPath":"\/news\/mans-prayer-life-revitalized-as-his-teenage-kids-start-driving\/comments","description":"PEORIA, IL \u2014 Local man Chandler Cooke reportedly saw his prayer life totally reinvigorated as his teenage kids started driving.","thumbnailPath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/thumbnails\/6ab166e242f426ab166e242f43.jpg","rawViews":21217,"parentCommentCount":"33","userBookmarks":"[12416,239353]","shortDescription":"PEORIA, IL - Local man Chandler Cooke reportedly saw his prayer life totally reinvigorated as his teenage kids started driving.","primaryCategory":"Family","publishedOnDate":"Sep 21, 2026","primaryCategoryPath":"\/news\/categories\/family","isPrimaryFeatured":false,"isSecondary":false,"isTertiary":false,"featuredSpot":"0","hasImage":true}" 1496 :categories="[{"id":34,"title":"Family","slug":"family","path":"\/news\/categories\/family","articleCount":"722","pivot":{"article_id":21282,"category_id":34}}]" 1497 :is_bee="true" 1498 :is_video="false"> 1499 </article-card> 1500 <article-card 1501 :article="{"id":21281,"unique_id":"9746","title":"Concerned Citizens Launch GoFundMe To Help Sydney Sweeney Buy Some Clothes","slug":"concerned-citizens-launch-gofundme-launched-to-help-sydney-sweeney-buy-some-clothes","body":"<p>U.S. \u2014 Concerned Americans have started a GoFundMe to purchase some clothing for the obviously destitute Sydney Sweeney.<\/p><p>With news circulating that the impoverished Sweeney apparently cannot afford even the smallest article of clothing, compassionate citizens have jumped in.<\/p><p>\"Poor girl. She's got nothing, and no one is stepping up to help,\" said local woman Alisa Rhine. \"It's been months now, and she still hasn't been able to acquire any clothes. How are we letting this happen in the year 2026? We've got to help this clearly indigent young lady get her dignity back. It's exactly what we as Christians are called to do: clothe the naked.\"<\/p><p>The GoFundMe, titled \"Buy Some Clothes For Sydney Sweeney,\" quickly attracted donations from sympathetic Americans who said they could no longer stand by and watch the actress endure another red carpet appearance with only six square inches of fabric to her name.<\/p><p>\"I saw a recent picture of her and just broke down crying,\" said donor Patricia Wilson. \"You see poverty on television, but you never think it could get this bad right here in America. If we can just get her a couple of sweaters and a pair of pants, it could make a world of difference.\"<\/p><p>At publishing time, more GoFundMe campaigns had popped up for ladies walking around the grocery store in a sports bra.<\/p><p><\/p>","image_id":"6aaeafb4578886aaeafb457889.jpg","user_id":1,"count_comments":181,"count_likes":0,"blog_id":null,"primary_category_id":2,"created_at":"2026-09-19T15:50:40.000000Z","updated_at":"2026-09-23T03:23:34.000000Z","published_on":"2026-09-19 13:32:09","edited_at":"2026-09-19T17:32:02.000000Z","premiere_at":null,"deleted_at":null,"is_cover_image_hidden":0,"photo_credit":null,"is_premium":0,"ready_for_review":0,"showing_latest_video":1,"is_premium_public":0,"headline_id":null,"image_version":0,"share_count":0,"share_count_updated_at":null,"is_video":0,"video_id":null,"hide_description":0,"hide_ads":0,"is_breaking_news":0,"editor_id":38775,"copy_writer_id":38775,"headline_writer_id":38775,"photoshopper_id":38775,"is_opinion":0,"published_to_instagram":null,"updated":0,"is_sports":0,"image_source":null,"is_evergreen":0,"image_description":null,"image_decorative":false,"path":"\/news\/concerned-citizens-launch-gofundme-launched-to-help-sydney-sweeney-buy-some-clothes","imagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/articles\/6aaeafb4578886aaeafb457889.jpg","authorName":"BabylonBeeStaff","authorFullName":"Babylon Bee Staff","authorPath":"\/articles\/BabylonBeeStaff","authorTakePath":"\/authorTakes\/BabylonBeeStaff","authorImagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/avatars\/Avatar-62bb5663294fd.jpg","publishedOnPretty":"Sep 19th, 2026 1:32 pm","publishedOnPrettyMobile":"Sep 19th","gridImagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/thumbs\/6aaeafb4578886aaeafb457889.jpg","hasComments":true,"commentCount":181,"cachedCategories":[{"id":2,"title":"Celebs","slug":"celebs","path":"\/news\/categories\/celebs","articleCount":"791","pivot":{"article_id":21281,"category_id":2}}],"commentPath":"\/news\/concerned-citizens-launch-gofundme-launched-to-help-sydney-sweeney-buy-some-clothes\/comments","description":"U.S. \u2014 Concerned Americans have started a GoFundMe to purchase some clothing for the obviously destitute Sydney Sweeney.","thumbnailPath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/thumbnails\/6aaeafb4578886aaeafb457889.jpg","rawViews":54204,"parentCommentCount":"53","userBookmarks":"[44131]","shortDescription":"U.S. - Concerned Americans have started a GoFundMe to purchase some clothing for the obviously destitute Sydney Sweeney.","primaryCategory":"Celebs","publishedOnDate":"Sep 19, 2026","primaryCategoryPath":"\/news\/categories\/celebs","isPrimaryFeatured":false,"isSecondary":false,"isTertiary":false,"featuredSpot":"0","hasImage":true}" 1502 :categories="[{"id":2,"title":"Celebs","slug":"celebs","path":"\/news\/categories\/celebs","articleCount":"791","pivot":{"article_id":21281,"category_id":2}}]" 1503 :is_bee="true" 1504 :is_video="false"> 1505 </article-card> 1506 <article-card 1507 :article="{"id":21272,"unique_id":"7408","title":"Report: Chili's Only Gets Bad Rap Because It Is Awful","slug":"report-chilis-only-gets-bad-rap-because-it-is-awful","body":"<p>DALLAS, TX \u2014 A new industry report released Thursday concluded that Chili's persistent reputation problem is due to it being truly awful.<\/p><p>Researchers attempted to discover the reason for Chili's poor standing by surveying loyal diners, former employees, and the hobos who like to hang out in the Chili's parking lot. The results demonstrated that the negative perceptions attached to the restaurant are primarily a result of it being bad.<\/p><p>\"It appears that the driving force behind Chili's branding problem is that it sucks,\" said study leader Fran Townsend. \"People rate the food as low-quality, which appears to mainly be due to it being cheap garbage. The good news is that, in order to improve its standing, we believe Chili's would need only to address one issue: stop being terrible.\"<\/p><p>According to respondents, most ended up dining at Chili's because a friend suggested going there. \"It's not so bad that you would physically fight someone who wanted to go there,\" said survey taker Gary Marsh. \"You might get into a verbal altercation about it, sure. Those chicken crispers will mess you up. But they do have that catchy little jingle about their crummy ribs. I want my baby back, baby back, baby back. You can't help but sing it.\"<\/p><p>At publishing time, Chili's had decided to just keep being bad, as it's been working for 50 years.<br><\/p>","image_id":"6aadaaeaeb7376aadaaeaeb738.jpg","user_id":1,"count_comments":85,"count_likes":0,"blog_id":null,"primary_category_id":12,"created_at":"2026-09-18T16:06:53.000000Z","updated_at":"2026-09-23T16:22:26.000000Z","published_on":"2026-09-19 11:47:55","edited_at":"2026-09-19T15:11:18.000000Z","premiere_at":null,"deleted_at":null,"is_cover_image_hidden":0,"photo_credit":null,"is_premium":0,"ready_for_review":0,"showing_latest_video":1,"is_premium_public":0,"headline_id":908733,"image_version":0,"share_count":0,"share_count_updated_at":null,"is_video":0,"video_id":null,"hide_description":0,"hide_ads":0,"is_breaking_news":0,"editor_id":38775,"copy_writer_id":205888,"headline_writer_id":215709,"photoshopper_id":38775,"is_opinion":0,"published_to_instagram":null,"updated":0,"is_sports":0,"image_source":null,"is_evergreen":0,"image_description":null,"image_decorative":false,"path":"\/news\/report-chilis-only-gets-bad-rap-because-it-is-awful","imagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/articles\/6aadaaeaeb7376aadaaeaeb738.jpg","authorName":"BabylonBeeStaff","authorFullName":"Babylon Bee Staff","authorPath":"\/articles\/BabylonBeeStaff","authorTakePath":"\/authorTakes\/BabylonBeeStaff","authorImagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/avatars\/Avatar-62bb5663294fd.jpg","publishedOnPretty":"Sep 19th, 2026 11:47 am","publishedOnPrettyMobile":"Sep 19th","gridImagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/thumbs\/6aadaaeaeb7376aadaaeaeb738.jpg","hasComments":true,"commentCount":85,"cachedCategories":[{"id":12,"title":"Life","slug":"life","path":"
1507\/news\/categories\/life","articleCount":"912","pivot":{"article_id":21272,"category_id":12}}],"commentPath":"\/news\/report-chilis-only-gets-bad-rap-because-it-is-awful\/comments","description":"DALLAS, TX \u2014 A new industry report released Thursday concluded that Chili's persistent reputation problem is due to it being truly awful.","thumbnailPath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/thumbnails\/6aadaaeaeb7376aadaaeaeb738.jpg","rawViews":38373,"parentCommentCount":"48","userBookmarks":"[88193]","shortDescription":"DALLAS, TX - A new industry report released Thursday concluded that Chili's persistent reputation problem is due to it being truly awful.","primaryCategory":"Life","publishedOnDate":"Sep 19, 2026","primaryCategoryPath":"\/news\/categories\/life","isPrimaryFeatured":false,"isSecondary":false,"isTertiary":false,"featuredSpot":"0","hasImage":true}" 1508 :categories="[{"id":12,"title":"Life","slug":"life","path":"\/news\/categories\/life","articleCount":"912","pivot":{"article_id":21272,"category_id":12}}]" 1509 :is_bee="true" 1510 :is_video="false"> 1511 </article-card> 1512 <article-card 1513 :article="{"id":21280,"unique_id":"09a7","title":"Uber Driver Carefully Selects Worst Possible Photo For Profile","slug":"uber-driver-carefully-selects-worst-possible-photo-for-profile","body":"<p>SAN ANTONIO, TX \u2014 Local Uber driver Vish Patel spent hours today searching his phone for the worst possible photo to use in his Uber profile.<\/p><p>\"Too friendly,\" Patel muttered as he swiped past a smiling photo of himself at his daughter's birthday party. \"Way too approachable. I need something that really makes you uncomfortable just to look at. Something that makes you question your sanity for getting in a car with me.\"<\/p><p>According to sources, Patel painstakingly combed through thousands of pictures in hopes of finding something that passengers would find borderline disturbing.<\/p><p>\"Ah, here we go,\" Patel said, finally stopping. \"This is the look I'm going for. It's really unclear if I'm angry or if I'm trying to smile, but I had a major stroke. You might think I'm dying of a heart attack or high on pot. There are so many bad ways to read this photo. Absolute perfection.\"<\/p><p>Patel then uploaded the image and sat back to admire his new profile, which boasts a 4.9-star rating and more than 2,000 completed trips despite featuring a photograph that would normally accompany a police warning.<\/p><p>Uber passenger Melissa Grant said she felt reassured after reading Patel's impressive driving record, right up until she saw his picture.<\/p><p>\"I was like, 'Oh good, 4.9 stars,'\" Grant said. \"Then I saw his face and thought, 'Well, I guess this is how I die.'\"<\/p><p>At publishing time, Patel had reportedly received another five-star review reading, \"Extremely nice guy. Photo is absolutely terrifying.\"<\/p>","image_id":"6aadad62297946aadad6229795.jpg","user_id":1,"count_comments":73,"count_likes":0,"blog_id":null,"primary_category_id":13,"created_at":"2026-09-18T21:30:02.000000Z","updated_at":"2026-09-23T00:01:58.000000Z","published_on":"2026-09-19 11:17:32","edited_at":"2026-09-19T15:17:13.000000Z","premiere_at":null,"deleted_at":null,"is_cover_image_hidden":0,"photo_credit":null,"is_premium":0,"ready_for_review":0,"showing_latest_video":1,"is_premium_public":0,"headline_id":null,"image_version":0,"share_count":0,"share_count_updated_at":null,"is_video":0,"video_id":null,"hide_description":0,"hide_ads":0,"is_breaking_news":0,"editor_id":38775,"copy_writer_id":38775,"headline_writer_id":15586,"photoshopper_id":38775,"is_opinion":0,"published_to_instagram":null,"updated":0,"is_sports":0,"image_source":null,"is_evergreen":0,"image_description":null,"image_decorative":false,"path":"\/news\/uber-driver-carefully-selects-worst-possible-photo-for-profile","imagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/articles\/6aadad62297946aadad6229795.jpg","authorName":"BabylonBeeStaff","authorFullName":"Babylon Bee Staff","authorPath":"\/articles\/BabylonBeeStaff","authorTakePath":"\/authorTakes\/BabylonBeeStaff","authorImagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/avatars\/Avatar-62bb5663294fd.jpg","publishedOnPretty":"Sep 19th, 2026 11:17 am","publishedOnPrettyMobile":"Sep 19th","gridImagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/thumbs\/6aadad62297946aadad6229795.jpg","hasComments":true,"commentCount":73,"cachedCategories":[{"id":13,"title":"Lifestyle","slug":"lifestyle","path":"
1513\/news\/categories\/lifestyle","articleCount":"255","pivot":{"article_id":21280,"category_id":13}}],"commentPath":"\/news\/uber-driver-carefully-selects-worst-possible-photo-for-profile\/comments","description":"SAN ANTONIO, TX \u2014 Local Uber driver Vish Patel spent hours today searching his phone for the worst possible photo to use in his Uber profile.","thumbnailPath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/thumbnails\/6aadad62297946aadad6229795.jpg","rawViews":35760,"parentCommentCount":"31","userBookmarks":"[54440,239714]","shortDescription":"SAN ANTONIO, TX - Local Uber driver Vish Patel spent hours today searching his phone for the worst possible photo to use in his Uber profile.","primaryCategory":"Lifestyle","publishedOnDate":"Sep 19, 2026","primaryCategoryPath":"\/news\/categories\/lifestyle","isPrimaryFeatured":false,"isSecondary":false,"isTertiary":false,"featuredSpot":"0","hasImage":true}" 1514 :categories="[{"id":13,"title":"Lifestyle","slug":"lifestyle","path":"\/news\/categories\/lifestyle","articleCount":"255","pivot":{"article_id":21280,"category_id":13}}]" 1515 :is_bee="true" 1516 :is_video="false"> 1517 </article-card> 1518 <article-card 1519 :article="{"id":21278,"unique_id":"9ac3","title":"Democrats Promise That If Elected, Every Voter Will Give Them $5,000","slug":"democrats-promise-that-if-elected-every-voter-will-give-them-5000","body":"<p>WASHINGTON, D.C. \u2014 Just days after President Donald Trump vowed to issue every American citizen a $5,000 check if Republicans won the midterms, Democrats countered with their own offer: if they are elected, every voter would give them $5,000.<\/p><p>The heartfelt plea was reportedly designed to motivate the Democratic base and get people energized ahead of the midterms, a voting period with famously low voter turnout compared to presidential election years. And nothing motivates Democrats more than promising to take away people's hard-earned money.<\/p><p>In an appearance on CNN, House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries explained the party platform. \"Republicans are going to reframe this as us taking voter money, but that's not true at all,\" he said. \"We're not taking your cash, you get to give us your cash. That's a big difference. But either way, we end up with your money, and that's what's important.\"<\/p><p>At a campaign event on Friday, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez reiterated the popular talking point. \"Kennedy famously said, 'Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country,'\" she said. \"And what you can do is give us $5,000 when we raise taxes after the midterms. We will have more of your money. That is our solemn pledge to the American people.\"<\/p><p>As predicted, Republicans did indeed accuse Democrats of trying to steal taxpayer dollars. \"They're not even promising anything, they're just saying they'll take your money,\" Sen. Rand Paul pointed out. \"I don't know why people keep voting for them. Am I out of touch? Should I be stealing money?\"<\/p><p>At publishing time, Democrat approval ratings had surged upward among voters who don't pay taxes.<\/p>","image_id":"6aada68d7e3386aada68d7e339.jpg","user_id":1,"count_comments":138,"count_likes":0,"blog_id":null,"primary_category_id":20,"created_at":"2026-09-18T19:49:26.000000Z","updated_at":"2026-09-21T13:00:21.000000Z","published_on":"2026-09-18 17:08:14","edited_at":"2026-09-18T21:07:00.000000Z","premiere_at":null,"deleted_at":null,"is_cover_image_hidden":0,"photo_credit":null,"is_premium":0,"ready_for_review":0,"showing_latest_video":1,"is_premium_public":0,"headline_id":908554,"image_version":0,"share_count":0,"share_count_updated_at":null,"is_video":0,"video_id":null,"hide_description":0,"hide_ads":0,"is_breaking_news":0,"editor_id":157522,"copy_writer_id":84248,"headline_writer_id":123263,"photoshopper_id":157522,"is_opinion":0,"published_to_instagram":null,"updated":0,"is_sports":0,"image_source":null,"is_evergreen":0,"image_description":"House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries giving a speech in front of Democratic members of Congress.","image_decorative":false,"path":"\/news\/democrats-promise-that-if-elected-every-voter-will-give-them-5000","imagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/articles\/6aada68d7e3386aada68d7e339.jpg","authorName":"BabylonBeeStaff","authorFullName":"Babylon Bee Staff","authorPath":"\/articles\/BabylonBeeStaff","authorTakePath":"\/authorTakes\/BabylonBeeStaff","authorImagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/avatars\/Avatar-62bb5663294fd.jpg","publishedOnPretty":"Sep 18th, 2026 5:08 pm","publishedOnPrettyMobile":"Sep 18th","gridImagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/thumbs\/6aada68d7e3386aada68d7e339.jpg","hasComments":true,"commentCount":138,"cachedCategories":[{"id":20,"title":"Politics","slug":"politics","path":"\/news\/categories\/politics","articleCount":"4711","pivot":{"article_id":21278,"category_id":20}}],"commentPath":"\/news\/democrats-promise-that-if-elected-every-voter-will-give-them-5000\/comments","description":"WASHINGTON, D.C. \u2014 Just days after President Donald Trump vowed to issue every American citizen a $5,000 check if Republicans won the midterms, Democrats countered with their own offer: if they are elected, every voter would give them $5,000.","thumbnailPath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/thumbnails\/6aada68d7e3386aada68d7e339.jpg","rawViews":61802,"parentCommentCount":"47","userBookmarks":"[53027,45786,153621,47321,44131,88193,25101,239714]","shortDescription":"WASHINGTON, D.C. - Just days after President Donald Trump vowed to issue every American citizen a $5,000 check if Republicans won the midterms, Democr...","primaryCategory":"Politics","publishedOnDate":"Sep 18, 2026","primaryCategoryPath":"\/news\/categories\/politics","isPrimaryFeatured":false,"isSecondary":false,"isTertiary":false,"featuredSpot":"0","hasImage":true}" 1520 :categories="[{"id":20,"title":"Politics","slug":"politics","path":"\/news\/categories\/politics","articleCount":"4711","pivot":{"article_id":21278,"category_id":20}}]" 1521 :is_bee="true" 1522 :is_video="false"> 1523 </article-card> 1524 <article-card 1525 :article="{"id":21279,"unique_id":"d06e","title":"Man Prepares To Perform Self-Lobotomy With Cereal Spoon After Daughter Discovers 'Blippi'","slug":"man-prepares-to-perform-self-lobotomy-with-cereal-spoon-after-daughter-discovers-blippi","body":"<p>COLUMBUS, OH \u2014 Local man Greg Gentry reportedly spent Friday morning mentally and physically preparing to perform a lobotomy on himself after his four-year-old daughter discovered the children's television franchise <em>Blippi<\/em>.<\/p><p>According to sources within the home, the incident began at approximately 10:15 AM when Gentry's daughter, Clara, selected a video featuring a grown man in an orange bow tie leaping through an indoor playground while giggling at high-pitched frequencies.<\/p><p>By 10:30 AM, Gentry had decided the sweet release of home brain surgery would be a suitable alternative to listening to the sound any longer.<\/p><p>\"I did some quick research on my phone,\" Gentry muttered quietly. \"A swift, downward thrust should sever the prefrontal cortex. That's my only way out of this. I've considered all my options\u2026 this is the best one.\"<\/p><p>Gentry's wife attempted to intervene by offering him noise-canceling headphones, but he politely declined, saying that would only solve the problem until he inevitably took the headphones off.<\/p><p>At publishing time, Gentry was seen sitting motionless at the kitchen table, holding the spoon at eye level while Blippi enthusiastically spelled the word \"garbage truck\" for the seventh consecutive time.<\/p>","image_id":"6aada07fad3ec6aada07fad3ed.jpg","user_id":1,"count_comments":72,"count_likes":0,"blog_id":null,"primary_category_id":34,"created_at":"2026-09-18T19:59:27.000000Z","updated_at":"2026-09-20T19:56:17.000000Z","published_on":"2026-09-18 16:48:38","edited_at":"2026-09-18T20:48:28.000000Z","premiere_at":null,"deleted_at":null,"is_cover_image_hidden":0,"photo_credit":null,"is_premium":0,"ready_for_review":0,"showing_latest_video":1,"is_premium_public":0,"headline_id":742168,"image_version":0,"share_count":0,"share_count_updated_at":null,"is_video":0,"video_id":null,"hide_description":0,"hide_ads":0,"is_breaking_news":0,"editor_id":157522,"copy_writer_id":200988,"headline_writer_id":215712,"photoshopper_id":157522,"is_opinion":0,"published_to_instagram":null,"updated":0,"is_sports":0,"image_source":null,"is_evergreen":0,"image_description":"Man sitting at a table and looking at a spoon while a young girl watches television in the background.","image_decorative":false,"path":"\/news\/man-prepares-to-perform-self-lobotomy-with-cereal-spoon-after-daughter-discovers-blippi","imagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/articles\/6aada07fad3ec6aada07fad3ed.jpg","authorName":"BabylonBeeStaff","authorFullName":"Babylon Bee Staff","authorPath":"\/articles\/BabylonBeeStaff","authorTakePath":"\/authorTakes\/BabylonBeeStaff","authorImagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/avatars\/Avatar-62bb5663294fd.jpg","publishedOnPretty":"Sep 18th, 2026 4:48 pm","publishedOnPrettyMobile":"Sep 18th","gridImagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/thumbs\/6aada07fad3ec6aada07fad3ed.jpg","hasComments":true,"commentCount":72,"cachedCategories":[{"id":34,"title":"Family","slug":"family","path":"\/news\/categories\/family","articleCount":"722","pivot":{"article_id":21279,"category_id":34}}],"commentPath":"\/news\/man-prepares-to-perform-self-lobotomy-with-cereal-spoon-after-daughter-discovers-blippi\/comments","description":"COLUMBUS, OH \u2014 Local man Greg Gentry reportedly spent Friday morning mentally and physically preparing to perform a lobotomy on himself after his four-year-old daughter discovered the children's television franchise Blippi.","thumbnailPath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/thumbnails\/6aada07fad3ec6aada07fad3ed.jpg","rawViews":30646,"parentCommentCount":"31","userBookmarks":"[]","shortDescription":"COLUMBUS, OH - Local man Greg Gentry reportedly spent Friday morning mentally and physically preparing to perform a lobotomy on himself after his four...","primaryCategory":"Family","publishedOnDate":"Sep 18, 2026","primaryCategoryPath":"\/news\/categories\/family","isPrimaryFeatured":false,"isSecondary":false,"isTertiary":false,"featuredSpot":"0","hasImage":true}" 1526 :categories="[{"id":34,"title":"Family","slug":"family","path":"\/news\/categories\/family","articleCount":"722","pivot":{"article_id":21279,"category_id":34}}]" 1527 :is_bee="true" 1528 :is_video="false"> 1529 </article-card> 1530 <article-card 1531 :article="{"id":21274,"unique_id":"ceaa","title":"Congress Preemptively Holds State Funeral For Mitch McConnell","slug":"congress-preemptively-holds-state-funeral-for-mitch-mcconnell","body":"<p>WASHINGTON, D.C. \u2014 Congress held a preemptive state funeral honoring Senator Mitch McConnell on Friday, as the Senate sergeant-at-arms had him lie in state, \"just in case.\"<\/p><p>The atmosphere in the nation'
1531s capital was somber this week as speakers from both sides of the aisle spoke about McConnell's undying commitment to Democracy, a commitment, they say, that won't let him die.<\/p><p>\"Might as well get it out of the way now,\" said Senate Majority Leader John Thune, \"We all saw him 'come back to work' this week, but let's be honest... he's just running on fumes here. That's why I was the first to recommend having him lie in state in the rotunda. At least he'll get to enjoy it this way.\"<\/p><p>McConnell seemed to be at peace with the decision, with witnesses saying he remained perfectly still while staring blankly at the ceiling. \"He seemed happy about it,\" one witness said. \"He was smiling the whole time.\"<\/p><p>When asked to comment on how it felt to be the first person to receive a state funeral prior to death, McConnell said, \".....................\"<\/p><p>At publishing time, McConnell's staff had announced that he had changed his mind about retirement and would instead be seeking re-election in November.<\/p>","image_id":"6aada1f6540436aada1f654044.jpg","user_id":1,"count_comments":56,"count_likes":0,"blog_id":null,"primary_category_id":20,"created_at":"2026-09-18T17:11:19.000000Z","updated_at":"2026-09-22T20:29:08.000000Z","published_on":"2026-09-18 16:42:16","edited_at":"2026-09-21T16:25:18.000000Z","premiere_at":null,"deleted_at":null,"is_cover_image_hidden":0,"photo_credit":null,"is_premium":0,"ready_for_review":0,"showing_latest_video":1,"is_premium_public":0,"headline_id":null,"image_version":0,"share_count":0,"share_count_updated_at":null,"is_video":0,"video_id":null,"hide_description":0,"hide_ads":0,"is_breaking_news":0,"editor_id":157522,"copy_writer_id":84248,"headline_writer_id":38775,"photoshopper_id":126678,"is_opinion":0,"published_to_instagram":null,"updated":0,"is_sports":0,"image_source":null,"is_evergreen":0,"image_description":"Mitch McConnell lying on a bed in the U.S. Capitol Rotunda.","image_decorative":false,"path":"\/news\/congress-preemptively-holds-state-funeral-for-mitch-mcconnell","imagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/articles\/6aada1f6540436aada1f654044.jpg","authorName":"BabylonBeeStaff","authorFullName":"Babylon Bee Staff","authorPath":"\/articles\/BabylonBeeStaff","authorTakePath":"\/authorTakes\/BabylonBeeStaff","authorImagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/avatars\/Avatar-62bb5663294fd.jpg","publishedOnPretty":"Sep 18th, 2026 4:42 pm","publishedOnPrettyMobile":"Sep 18th","gridImagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/thumbs\/6aada1f6540436aada1f654044.jpg","hasComments":true,"commentCount":56,"cachedCategories":[{"id":20,"title":"Politics","slug":"politics","path":"\/news\/categories\/politics","articleCount":"4711","pivot":{"article_id":21274,"category_id":20}}],"commentPath":"\/news\/congress-preemptively-holds-state-funeral-for-mitch-mcconnell\/comments","description":"WASHINGTON, D.C. \u2014 Congress held a preemptive state funeral honoring Senator Mitch McConnell on Friday, as the Senate sergeant-at-arms had him lie in state, &#34;just in case.&#34;","thumbnailPath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/thumbnails\/6aada1f6540436aada1f654044.jpg","rawViews":20814,"parentCommentCount":"25","userBookmarks":"[]","shortDescription":"WASHINGTON, D.C. - Congress held a preemptive state funeral honoring Senator Mitch McConnell on Friday, as the Senate sergeant-at-arms had him lie in ...","primaryCategory":"Politics","publishedOnDate":"Sep 18, 2026","primaryCategoryPath":"\/news\/categories\/politics","isPrimaryFeatured":false,"isSecondary":false,"isTertiary":false,"featuredSpot":"0","hasImage":true}" 1532 :categories="[{"id":20,"title":"Politics","slug":"politics","path":"\/news\/categories\/politics","articleCount":"4711","pivot":{"article_id":21274,"category_id":20}}]" 1533 :is_bee="true" 1534 :is_video="false"> 1535 </article-card> 1536 <article-card 1537 :article="{"id":21277,"unique_id":"0345","title":"Israelite Women Rejoice After Moses Strikes Rock And Pumpkin Spice Latte Gushes Out","slug":"israelite-women-rejoice-after-moses-strikes-rock-and-pumpkin-spice-latte-gushes-out","body":"<p>SINAI \u2014 The women of Israel erupted into celebration this week after Moses struck a rock with his staff, causing a torrent of pumpkin
1537spice latte to gush forth.<\/p><p>Witnesses reported that thousands of Israelite women immediately appeared from their tents and stampeded toward the miraculous rock, clutching earthenware mugs and shouting for extra foam.<\/p><p>\"Finally! The Lord has heard our cries!\" exclaimed Miriam as she filled a clay pitcher with the warm beverage. \"Oh, sing His praises, sing forever of His great mercy. For the Lord has brought cinnamon and nutmeg, cloves and ginger. Praise be the Lord. It's fall, y'all!\"<\/p><p>The miracle reportedly occurred after several women from varying tribes had grumbled to Moses about conditions in the wilderness.<\/p><p>\"Why did you bring us up out of Egypt?\" demanded one Israelite woman. \"To just have water? Unflavored, decaf, not-at-all-cozy water? Would that we were back in Egypt, where at least we still had seasonal apple cider.\"<\/p><p>Moses thus cried out to the Lord, and the Almighty answered, bringing out of the rock the drink from which all women draw their strength. By sundown, the Israelite women had decorated the entire encampment with woven blankets, tiny pumpkins, and wooden signs reading \"Gather,\" while Moses warned everyone that the pumpkin spice would cease flowing promptly on November 30.<\/p><p>At publishing time, the Israelite women had begun grumbling again after discovering that the rock did not also have a spigot for oat milk.<\/p>","image_id":"6aad99a18cc116aad99a18cc12.jpg","user_id":1,"count_comments":64,"count_likes":0,"blog_id":null,"primary_category_id":22,"created_at":"2026-09-18T19:19:55.000000Z","updated_at":"2026-09-21T16:04:54.000000Z","published_on":"2026-09-18 16:13:05","edited_at":"2026-09-18T20:12:57.000000Z","premiere_at":null,"deleted_at":null,"is_cover_image_hidden":0,"photo_credit":null,"is_premium":0,"ready_for_review":0,"showing_latest_video":1,"is_premium_public":0,"headline_id":446677,"image_version":0,"share_count":0,"share_count_updated_at":null,"is_video":0,"video_id":null,"hide_description":0,"hide_ads":0,"is_breaking_news":0,"editor_id":157522,"copy_writer_id":38775,"headline_writer_id":215709,"photoshopper_id":157522,"is_opinion":0,"published_to_instagram":null,"updated":0,"is_sports":0,"image_source":null,"is_evergreen":0,"image_description":"Painting of Moses striking the rock and pumpkin spice latte spewing forth.","image_decorative":false,"path":"\/news\/israelite-women-rejoice-after-moses-strikes-rock-and-pumpkin-spice-latte-gushes-out","imagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/articles\/6aad99a18cc116aad99a18cc12.jpg","authorName":"BabylonBeeStaff","authorFullName":"Babylon Bee Staff","authorPath":"\/articles\/BabylonBeeStaff","authorTakePath":"\/authorTakes\/BabylonBeeStaff","authorImagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/avatars\/Avatar-62bb5663294fd.jpg","publishedOnPretty":"Sep 18th, 2026 4:13 pm","publishedOnPrettyMobile":"Sep 18th","gridImagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/thumbs\/6aad99a18cc116aad99a18cc12.jpg","hasComments":true,"commentCount":64,"cachedCategories":[{"id":22,"title":"Scripture","slug":"scripture","path":"\/news\/categories\/scripture","articleCount":"495","pivot":{"article_id":21277,"category_id":22}}],"commentPath":"\/news\/israelite-women-rejoice-after-moses-strikes-rock-and-pumpkin-spice-latte-gushes-out\/comments","description":"SINAI \u2014 The women of Israel erupted into celebration this week after Moses struck a rock with his staff, causing a torrent of pumpkin
1537spice latte to gush forth.","thumbnailPath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/thumbnails\/6aad99a18cc116aad99a18cc12.jpg","rawViews":23113,"parentCommentCount":"31","userBookmarks":"[41779,7539,45786,138566]","shortDescription":"SINAI - The women of Israel erupted into celebration this week after Moses struck a rock with his staff, causing a torrent of pumpkin spice latte to g...","primaryCategory":"Scripture","publishedOnDate":"Sep 18, 2026","primaryCategoryPath":"\/news\/categories\/scripture","isPrimaryFeatured":false,"isSecondary":false,"isTertiary":false,"featuredSpot":"0","hasImage":true}" 1538 :categories="[{"id":22,"title":"Scripture","slug":"scripture","path":"\/news\/categories\/scripture","articleCount":"495","pivot":{"article_id":21277,"category_id":22}}]" 1539 :is_bee="true" 1540 :is_video="false"> 1541 </article-card> 1542 <article-card 1543 :article="{"id":21276,"unique_id":"387e","title":"Husband In Critical Condition After Attempting Two Minutes Of Beginner's Yoga","slug":"husband-in-critical-condition-after-attempting-two-minutes-of-beginners-yoga","body":"<p>AUSTIN, TX \u2014 Local husband Matt Gaines was rushed to the Intensive Care Unit Tuesday evening after attempting a two-minute beginner's yoga video on YouTube.<\/p><p>According to witnesses, the incident happened when Gaines' wife, Sarah, suggested a light stretch to relieve his lower back tightness. Gaines allegedly readily accepted what he thought would be an easy endeavor.<\/p><p>\"He lasted about forty-five seconds,\" Sarah recalled. \"The instructor asked him to transition into something called 'Downward Dog.' Matt let out a sound like a deflating balloon, collapsed onto the rug, and stopped moving.\"<\/p><p>Emergency personnel arrived within minutes to find Thomason stuck in a Tadasana pose. First responders had to gently extract him from his living room rug before stabilizing his shattered pride and severely overstretched hamstring.<\/p><p>\"We see this all the time,\" Chief Paramedic Dan Higgins said. \"Men think 'beginner' means easy. But standard yoga poses require flexibility that no man who plays recreational softball possesses. He's lucky to be alive.\"<\/p><p>At publishing time, Gaines was said to be in stable condition, though doctors said it may take weeks before he'll be able to walk without a limp.<\/p>","image_id":"6aad88e8e757f6aad88e8e7580.jpg","user_id":1,"count_comments":78,"count_likes":0,"blog_id":null,"primary_category_id":12,"created_at":"2026-09-18T18:40:54.000000Z","updated_at":"2026-09-21T21:03:20.000000Z","published_on":"2026-09-18 14:57:43","edited_at":"2026-09-18T18:57:37.000000Z","premiere_at":null,"deleted_at":null,"is_cover_image_hidden":0,"photo_credit":null,"is_premium":0,"ready_for_review":0,"showing_latest_video":1,"is_premium_public":0,"headline_id":null,"image_version":0,"share_count":0,"share_count_updated_at":null,"is_video":0,"video_id":null,"hide_description":0,"hide_ads":0,"is_breaking_news":0,"editor_id":157522,"copy_writer_id":200988,"headline_writer_id":38775,"photoshopper_id":157522,"is_opinion":0,"published_to_instagram":null,"updated":0,"is_sports":0,"image_source":null,"is_evergreen":0,"image_description":"man in hospital bed with inset image of yoga class","image_decorative":false,"path":"\/news\/husband-in-critical-condition-after-attempting-two-minutes-of-beginners-yoga","imagePath":"
1543https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/articles\/6aad88e8e757f6aad88e8e7580.jpg","authorName":"BabylonBeeStaff","authorFullName":"Babylon Bee Staff","authorPath":"\/articles\/BabylonBeeStaff","authorTakePath":"\/authorTakes\/BabylonBeeStaff","authorImagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/avatars\/Avatar-62bb5663294fd.jpg","publishedOnPretty":"Sep 18th, 2026 2:57 pm","publishedOnPrettyMobile":"Sep 18th","gridImagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/thumbs\/6aad88e8e757f6aad88e8e7580.jpg","hasComments":true,"commentCount":78,"cachedCategories":[{"id":12,"title":"Life","slug":"life","path":"\/news\/categories\/life","articleCount":"912","pivot":{"article_id":21276,"category_id":12}}],"commentPath":"\/news\/husband-in-critical-condition-after-attempting-two-minutes-of-beginners-yoga\/comments","description":"AUSTIN, TX \u2014 Local husband Matt Gaines was rushed to the Intensive Care Unit Tuesday evening after attempting a two-minute beginner's yoga video on YouTube.","thumbnailPath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/thumbnails\/6aad88e8e757f6aad88e8e7580.jpg","rawViews":27962,"parentCommentCount":"42","userBookmarks":"[239388,238634]","shortDescription":"AUSTIN, TX - Local husband Matt Gaines was rushed to the Intensive Care Unit Tuesday evening after attempting a two-minute beginner's yoga video on Yo...","primaryCategory":"Life","publishedOnDate":"Sep 18, 2026","primaryCategoryPath":"\/news\/categories\/life","isPrimaryFeatured":false,"isSecondary":false,"isTertiary":false,"featuredSpot":"0","hasImage":true}" 1544 :categories="[{"id":12,"title":"Life","slug":"life","path":"\/news\/categories\/life","articleCount":"912","pivot":{"article_id":21276,"category_id":12}}]" 1545 :is_bee="true" 1546 :is_video="false"> 1547 </article-card> 1548 <article-card 1549 :article="{"id":21273,"unique_id":"389b","title":"New Underground Railroad Established To Help Lone Black Juror Escape From Angry White Liberals In The North","slug":"new-underground-railroad-established-to-help-lone-black-juror-escape-from-angry-white-liberals-in-the-north","body":"<p>PLYMOUTH, MA \u2014 Reports indicated that a modern \"Underground Railroad\" had been established to help the lone black juror from the Lindsay Clancy case escape from angry, violent, white Democrats.<\/p><p>Though shrouded in secrecy, the new Underground Railroad would purportedly use checkpoints along the Atlantic coast to help shepherd the black man away from the thousands of white Northern liberals who have threatened him with violence.<\/p><p>\"We've got to get him to the South,\" said an operative, on condition of anonymity. \"He'll be safe if he can just get below that Mason-Dixon line. The Republicans won't let anyone touch him. It's not going to be easy, though. There are mobs of bloodthirsty white liberals all over the North, looking for a lynching. And the feminists. Dear Lord, the feminists. He's secure right now, but we've got our work cut out for us.\"<\/p><p>Volunteers had reportedly prepared to hide the juror in houses, church basements, and Chick-fil-A stockrooms along the escape route. \"We've got our people looking out for any sign of danger, like a shirt saying 'Love Is Love' or 'Believe All Women,'\" explained a pastor working the trail. \"It's a little different direction from the old Railroad, but it's still black people fleeing angry white Democrats who want to do them harm and force them to do their bidding. Some things never change, I guess.\"<\/p><p>At publishing time, the juror had reportedly made it safely across the Pennsylvania border after narrowly escaping a mob carrying \"BE KIND\" signs.<\/p>","image_id":"6aad7dad4438a6aad7dad4438b.jpg","user_id":1,"count_comments":100,"count_likes":0,"blog_id":null,"primary_category_id":58,"created_at":"2026-09-18T16:45:00.000000Z","updated_at":"2026-09-23T11:43:26.000000Z","published_on":"2026-09-18 14:09:22","edited_at":"2026-09-18T18:08:53.000000Z","premiere_at":null,"deleted_at":null,"is_cover_image_hidden":0,"photo_credit":null,"is_premium":0,"ready_for_review":0,"showing_latest_video":1,"is_premium_public":0,"headline_id":910235,"image_version":0,"share_count":0,"share_count_updated_at":null,"is_video":0,"video_id":null,"hide_description":0,"hide_ads":0,"is_breaking_news":0,"editor_id":157522,"copy_writer_id":38775,"headline_writer_id":215709,"photoshopper_id":157522,"is_opinion":0,"published_to_instagram":null,"updated":0,"is_sports":0,"image_source":null,"is_evergreen":0,"image_description":"painting depicting the Underground Railroad","image_decorative":false,"path":"\/news\/new-underground-railroad-established-to-help-lone-black-juror-escape-from-angry-white-liberals-in-the-north","imagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/articles\/6aad7dad4438a6aad7dad4438b.jpg","authorName":"BabylonBeeStaff","authorFullName":"Babylon Bee Staff","authorPath":"\/articles\/BabylonBeeStaff","authorTakePath":"\/authorTakes\/BabylonBeeStaff","authorImagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/avatars\/Avatar-62bb5663294fd.jpg","publishedOnPretty":"Sep 18th, 2026 2:09 pm","publishedOnPrettyMobile":"Sep 18th","gridImagePath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/thumbs\/6aad7dad4438a6aad7dad4438b.jpg","hasComments":true,"commentCount":100,"cachedCategories":[{"id":58,"title":"Crime","slug":"crime","path":"\/news\/categories\/crime","articleCount":"106","pivot":{"article_id":21273,"category_id":58}}],"commentPath":"\/news\/new-underground-railroad-established-to-help-lone-black-juror-escape-from-angry-white-liberals-in-the-north\/comments","description":"PLYMOUTH, MA \u2014 Reports indicated that a modern &#34;Underground Railroad&#34; had been established to help the lone black juror from the Lindsay Clancy case escape from angry, violent, white Democrats.","thumbnailPath":"https:\/\/media.babylonbee.com\/thumbnails\/6aad7dad4438a6aad7dad4438b.jpg","rawViews":73532,"parentCommentCount":"55","userBookmarks":"[53027,17517,138566,153621,47321,44131,243704]","shortDescription":"PLYMOUTH, MA - Reports indicated that a modern \"Underground Railroad\" had been established to help the lone black juror from the Lindsay Clancy case e...","primaryCategory":"Crime","publishedOnDate":"Sep 18, 2026","primaryCategoryPath":"\/news\/categories\/crime","isPrimaryFeatured":false,"isSecondary":false,"isTertiary":false,"featuredSpot":"0","hasImage":true}" 1550 :categories="[{"id":58,"title":"Crime","slug":"crime","path":"\/news\/categories\/crime","articleCount":"106","pivot":{"article_id":21273,"category_id":58}}]" 1551 :is_bee="true" 1552 :is_video="false"> 1553 </article-card> 1554 </div> 1555 1556 <div class="my-5"> 1557 <load-more-articles aria-label="Load more articles" 1558 :previous_articles="previousArticles" 1559 :is_home_page="false"
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